Zaciré: *panting* Man, eruheran sure took long enough to get us into this room.
Me: Yeah, well, I've only been on here about a month so it's taken me a while to find everything.
Urta: Especially when we took the wrong turn into the Community Story...all those goblins!
Me: Urta! You're not even supposed to be in here. I mean, well, you're not in the rewrite of the story that I'm doing but I don't really have any antagonists that Zaciré could banter with so I might let you and Pashto come in.
Pashto: So you're saying that we're villains?
Me: Not villains, but the only people I could think of in my story that Zaciré could bounce off of.
Zaciré: Yeah, they're not villains, but they sure are annoying.
Me: Zaciré! In the story they're supposed to be your friends.
Urta: OK, now you're really confusing me. Can we just start with the introductions?
Me: *sighs*. Fine, go ahead. You start, Urta.
Urta: I'm Urta, and I live in the Enclave, in the world of Enderion, along with my friends here. Zaciré's really lucky because he gets to go on a quest and finds the pretty...
Me: shhh! Urta, you promised you wouldn't give away the plot at all.
Urta: And
you promised you'd make me an MC.
Me: I can't make you an MC! I already have Zacirè and Numaryà and Frosvan, and Zrolla, the villain. And this isn't fair since now you're trying to bring them in when I haven't even got you guys through the introductions! *slaps forehead* Pashta, why don't you try to introduce yourself.
Pashto: Well, since people do have trouble reading the little names in the margin, I won't say my name.
Me: His name is Pashto. I hadn't made him as opinionated as Urta but look what happens when you bring them out. He's a minor character as well.
Pashto: Excuse me, are you going to introduce me or am I going to introduce me?
Me: Sorry, go ahead.
Pashto: Thank you. As I was saying, I also live in the Enclave, in the World of Enderion. I'm kind of a follower of Urta, not because I'm a lemming, but just because you know, well, I don't really have any friends and Urta kind of follows Zaciré so we're kind of like a train and you know and ooh, smileys

(I can see what you see in these, Matt)...
Numaryá: Pashto, please do us all a favor and shut your mouth.
Zaciré: *startled* Numaryá, how did you get in here?
Numaryá: Well, the author brought me of course. It took some time but it worked.
Me: Hey, you're fictional, you're not supposed to be able to convince me! Why don't you introduce yourself.
Numaryá: I'm Numaryá, I also live in the Enclave but I'm not originally from there. You see, my father...
Me: No plot giveaways!
Numaryá: Oh yeah. Anyways, I have to be in this dialogue since I end up marrying Zaciré and I'm a main charry.
Me: Plot giveaway! Numaryá, I'll take you away if you don't behave.
Zacirè: *shocked* What?!?
Me: See Numaryá, not only are you giving away plot to everyone else, but even to the other characters! You can't do that! I'm going to bring Forsvan in now, maybe he can calm you all down.
Forsvan: Where am I? Who are all these people. Ah, the fair folk. It has been long, Zaciré, since I have met with elves. Greetings to you all.
Me: At least one of you can remember your manners. Forsvan is Zaciré's mentor, but since I'm rewriting the story I'm not sure if he's still his mentor, but he's definitely an MC.
Forsvan: Yes, yes, most confusing, eruheran. You must try to do better at what you call rewrites. It's most disconcerting to be 60 and then all of a sudden be 80 and die.
Me: Hey, I didn't really want you to die, but it was crucial to the plot so that Zaciré would start his quest. But now in the rewrite the quest starts differently, so you might live, if that makes you happy.
Urta: *sulking* Hey! Now you're giving away the plot. How come authors get to do it but not characters?
Me: Well, authors are special...and you're just a work of fiction. I'm a strange fantasy writer homes-chooler, and apparently that gives me license to do weird things. But I think it's time I brought in the villain.
Everyone: No!
Me: C'mon, we need some arguing since technically you all are supposed to be friends so it's better you have someone else to argue against.
Zaciré: But I thought Elyon kills him at the end when...
Me: Zaciré! You've been reading ahead, haven't you?!
Zaciré: Well, you forgot to close the computer down that one night...and I got curious. I'm sorry.
Me: I guess it's OK. I'll bring in Fertag now.
Pashto: But you renamed him to Zrolla, remember?
Me: What?! You read ahead also? And you're only a minor character. Shame on both of you!
*Zaciré and Pashto look ashamed*
Me: That's right, I did rename him to Zrolla. Fertag sounds too much like Fernando, which sounds like a hispanic name, but I didn't want to stereotype my villain so I changed it.
Forsvar: Zrolla sounds like the name of an African Dung beetle. Perhaps, Phillip, you would care to elaborate (By the way, your intellect is most refreshing for someone of my scholarly rank. Perhaps one day you would care to discuss quasars with me?)
Zrolla: Stupid peasants, stop arguing about the etymology of my name. What is this place? And where can I hire some mercenaries to take it over? And who are those winged things in the corner? Large eagles?
Me: That's right, I haven't introduced dragons yet. Probably shouldn't, either. Zrolla's powerful enough with only his wolves.
Urta: Uh-oh, way to start up the peasants thing again, Zrolla.
Zrolla: Silence, knave! I must talk to the Iri character, or the slave trader, though he looks to be a bumbling fool, or those two generals in animal skins, or possibly that tiger that was around here before. With some well-trained soldiers we could have this place taken over in a heartbeat.
Zaciré: Listen Zrolla, just because you defeated me once in the story doesn't mean you're all that powerful! I mean, you don't even have any dark wolves with you. And just ask Raug, that bumbling slave trader, what happens when you try to go out of the margins.
Zrolla: What margins? I see no margins *walks up to margin* Oh, this small barrier? *forces it aside with a pulse of blue lightning from his fourth finger*
Me: No! Zrolla! Did you read ahead as well? You're not even supposed to have that power yet. *hurriedly puts the margin back and plunks Zrolla down right by the door where hopefully he'll stay out of trouble*. And if you don't behave, I'll name you back to Fertag!
Zrolla: That sounds hispanic! You promised, no stereotyping! What do you want me to do? Eat a taco with one hand while I take over the world with the other?
Urta: I'd pay money to see that sight! *chuckles*
Pashto:
Numaryá: Not another smiley guy!
Pashto:
Me: Well, things are getting very confusing and embarassingly long, so let me wrap up with a description of who each of these people are. Zaciré is the main main character in my book, and must go on a quest. No physical descriptions (yet...but these people are all humans). Forsvar is his mentor and is sort of a main character but stays at the Enclave for most of the book. Numaryá is a girl that Zaciré finds extremely strange. No one knows where she came from but she lives at the Enclave. And since my characters already ruined it *glares at Numaryá and Urta* she does marry Zaciré in the end.
Zrolla: *sarcastically* Awww, I love happy endings....preferably when they involve me taking over the world.
Me: Don't interrupt me in the middle of a summary, or I'll kill you off! Anyways, Urta and Pashto are minor characters and they live at the Enclave. I had cut them out of the second revision since they were very minor characters in the first story but they've been pestering me ever since to let them back in so I might, eventually. And Zrolla, he's my villain. He is one of those take-over-the-world types that seem to be common on here. He used to have the power to revoke barriers (such as page margins) but I must remove that to prevent all of the villains banding together.
Urta: Just finish already, will you?
Me: OK! Well, I'll take my *very* long-winded characters (and myself) out of here for now since I've got 'brother-bonding' time to do. Hi to all the other characters and sorry if my characters didn't take much notice of you...they can be a little bit self centered at times.
*Pulls characters by capes out of room...but capes break in doorway leaving all characters embarrassingly sprawled on the floor with broken capes. Embarrassed, eruheran picks them up and leaves*