Writing Dialogue without Quotation marks

Constable Jaynin Mimetes · **Posted:** December 7th, 2010, 4:59 pm

As an effect of course, but how far can you take it before it become tedious? What about writing an entire conversation without ever directly quoting anyone? It's not for the whole story, just this scene...

Quote:

That was wen Duvarre, the prince's valet, calmly put his head in the kitchen. he ignored the mess, the chaos, the protesting serving boys and the angry chef and coolly announced that the prince would have his dinner now.

The chef bowed and laughed nervously. Food couldn't be prepared all at once, he said. The prince would have to be patient and wait for the proper dinner time.

Oh no, Duvarre said. The prince wants his dinner now.

Well, you must convince him otherwise, the chef countered. For there is no dinner.

The Valet's eyes narrowed. The Chef smiled and pointed at his stove.

Unless his highness prefers scorched pudding with no fish? He asked.

Duvarre sniffed the mess and turned away with an expression of disgust. The Prince could not be served such a mess.

Then what did the honorable lord Duvarre suggest? The chef wanted to know.

Thoughts? Later, at the end of the conversation one of the page boys actually talks, like with quotations marks and all. But the chef never does, and Duvarre never does, in this scene. (Duvarre does later on.) I think it's because the whole tone of this scene is supposed to be distant; because the next scene is where the real action and plot is. But... I iz uncertain.

Leandra Falconwing · **Posted:** December 7th, 2010, 5:09 pm

I think it works. I could follow it easily. I'm pretty sure I've seen it done before in published books, too, but I couldn't tell you which ones right now.

But anyway, I'd say go for it. The whole book without quotation marks wouldn't work as well, I don't think, but it seems to fit this scene well.

Kiev Shawn · **Posted:** December 7th, 2010, 6:09 pm

I agree with Lea. It fits the scene, well, like a glove.

Rachel Newhouse · **Posted:** December 7th, 2010, 6:16 pm

I agree that this scene flows fine, but consistency is key. If the rest of the book tends to follow standard use of quotation marks, will this one scene stick out oddly?

If you wanted to avoid quotation marks, you can phrase the statements just a little bit differently to make quotation marks grammatically unnecessary: "He reminded the lord that food couldn't be prepared all at once."

Either way, nice scene.

Willow Wenial Mimetes · **Joined:** September 27th, 2009, 1:28 pm **Posts:** 1588

I like the scene, but the absence of quotation marks was jarring to me. I wouldn't do it, but that's my personal taste talking.

It flowed fine without them.

Lady Eruwaedhiel · **Posted:** December 7th, 2010, 8:50 pm

I think it's a nice break. While I probably wouldn't write something like it, I like the way it works. I laughed out loud.

Andrew Amnon Mimetes · **Joined:** May 14th, 2010, 4:43 am **Posts:** 4458

I personally got the impression that it was from someone who was eavesdropping--like maybe a page who shouldn't have been listening. I even got the impression of a mouse sitting there listening? I don't know--maybe I'm just weird.

I thought it was kind of weird--I probably wouldn't do it myself, but I'd run with it if you like it.

eruheran

Constable Jaynin Mimetes · **Posted:** December 8th, 2010, 12:48 pm

This is the second half of the opening scene. I don't think I'm likely to do it again, since when I shift POV for the next scene I'll go back to usual form of dialogue. So we'll see if it works.

Thanks everyone. *goes back to writing without quotation marks*

Elly · **Joined:** October 22nd, 2010, 7:58 am **Posts:** 4197

It does flow quite nicely in that particular scene. Yet I agree with the others, it would not work that way for the whole book.

Writing Dialogue without Quotation marks

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