Sir Emeth Mimetes wrote:
Effuvescent and elaborate greetings and salubrious benificences be exponentiated to the massed multitudes of the Holy Worlds Christian Fantasy Forum of God-honoring Creativity!
* bows low *
May you all in your sundry ranks be made apprised and cognizant of yet another additional Holy Worlds project to challenge and stretch you all beyond your individual regions of lackadaisical complaisance. So rise and bow thine ears to hearken to mine orated elucidations of the gauntlet we collectively cast before thy collected and vacillating masses.
The most renowned and illustrious Holy Worlds Community of Christ-centered Creativity in all beleaguered genres is proud to present for your consideration and laudation our initial and seminal arrangement of lexicographical oppositions to the end of tantalizing the enlisted competitors with the exaggerated reward of accomplishment and renown! Would this imply that there might be a possibility of repetitions of this particular flavor of insanity in store for your palate in future times? Embroil yourself in the riddle, and you might elucidate the correct conclusion on that head.
At an undisclosed moment in close proximity to the present the specifications of the aforesaid extravagant event will be expatiated for your delight and cogitation. The immediate gist of the projected concept will be for each of you individually and collectively at disjointed times to be presented with a combination of letters with an undisclosed meaning of which you are assigned the monumental task of deciphering without the external aids of any means not cephalic or communal within the constraints of the quest dictated. And so I charge thee to begin thy literary research and other desperate learning measures posthaste to the end of expanding and elevating your verbiage in varieties both working and reserved!
There will be measures undertaken with consummate care to ensure the capability of enlistment for every member, whether gargantuan in linguistic prowess or but newly budded on the tree of sesquipedalianism. So fear not (or quake exceedingly, it is thine own cardiovascular tremors, not mine own), and elevate thine internal elation, hysteria, and other varieties of hullabaloo to a fevered pitch!
May your verbiage be expanded and embellished beyond what is even extraordinarily reasonable.
Many showered blessing be upon you all in the name of Jesus Christ,
Jaymes Lauser aka Sir Emeth Mimetes aka Undead Cyborg Knight of the Abyss of Adamant
A warm welcome of good health be multiplied among you all!
*bows low*
I'd like to make known to you all in your diverse ranks of one more HW project to keep you occupied, if your own stories or other hobbies are suffering from a lack of interest. So listen up, because I am telling you about the aforementioned contest!
The very distinguished Holy Worlds and all of its sides is proud to present for you the first round of the dictionary challenge, which will have you eagerly involved, attempting to be the winner, who will receive recognition as his reward. Does that mean that there could be multiple rounds to this contest? Involve yourself in the game, and you may find the answer to the previous question.
Sometime in the near future the details of the previously mentioned contest will be presented. The idea is that each of you, alone and on teams, will be given a word which you are to define, without use of a dictionary or other people not in the contest. So start brushing up on your English textbooks or any other means means right away to improve your vocabulary!
We will take precautions to make sure that every member who to takes part in the contest will be able to enjoy themselves, with either a wide vocabulary or but a small selection of words. Don't worry, (Or do, who am I to tell you how to regulate your emotions?) and post below how excited you are about the whole thing!
Be sure to speak so that no-one can understand you like I am.
In Christ,
Sir Emeth Mimetes
--There, that oughta get me something...it's a full word-for-word translation to simpler terms, and then abridged to remove unnecessary words and to make it coherent.
(Except for a few words, but they weren't enough to obfuscate my overall comprehension of the glorious matter that was elucidated. 
I reverted to skimming.
Thankfully though, I already know what it's about, and thank goodness I'm not participating! 
