DISCLAIMER: I have no idea where to post this....not exactly like there's a part of HW that says "POST THREADS ABOUT SOUNDS HERE!" That would be empty. So feel free to move me...since I probably got my placing wrong.

I'm sure we've all watched this move. That goes something a long the lines of:
*scary music*
*more scary music*
*more scary music*
BANG!

Some kind of spoof of the chainsaw maniac comes out. Am I right? Doesn't matter, not trying to be right. Point is, movies do that...a lot. I think it's fun. It's totally the suspense and surprise that the "suspense Vs. Surprise" thread was talking about. It's awesome! Even though that small burst of adrenaline you get...should probably be saved for emergencies, but oh well.

So, by now you're probably wondering what this has to do with writing...well how many times have you read this in a book?

*MC is listening quietly*
*MC beginning to panic at silence*
Bang!

Not the same effect, though. Right? At least...not to me. Unless this is used in the perfect context it can come off as cliche or cheesy. *gasp* *doesn't use the word "cheesy" unless absolutely necessary*

So, if that effect doesn't work to describe sudden loud sounds. How do you describe sudden loud sounds?...well, I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

Thing is, I like sudden loud sounds (as has been previously expressed) and I like them even more when I can describe them in detail. The problem being that I don't want to do the whole italicized word. Especially since I've already used it once. So, how would you write a loud sound? Or do you think that the italics is fine and there is no need to mess with it? And of course most importantly; Do you have any advice for me or other writers that are wondering the same thing?

Okay, thanks! Hope this didn't bore you.

Bethany Faith

That is a problem that I have encountered occasionally.

*whisper* I have a solution. */whisper*

You can't write loud noises. It doesn't work. But normally, along with loud noises something suddenly happens as well. So I drive my readers insane using a different kind of suspense to build up to the surprise. Example:

The trio crept silently through the courtyard. They snuck past guards, scaled walls, and sometimes simply sat and waited for what seemed like hours. Eventually they made it into the mansion. They quietly creeped down the long corridor, before they finally made it to the large hall. The girl stepped in first, followed by the two men. She quickly cut around a corner, and let out a high-pitched scream. The two men hurriedly caught up and looked on at the awful sight. The two looked at the each other, and then at the girl. Then they looked back at the terrible scene.

Then I won't tell the reader just what the terrible scene was for awhile, and when I do it will be the dead body of her father or something. I know it's not a loud noise, but it's the best alternative I've found.

BANG!

It depends on which novel I'm working on, if it's a pulp-throwback novel, I'll use the actual word. In TPoF, I'll do something like this.

Lance ducked as the grenade exploded with an ear-numbing roar.

Elanhil, what you're doing is building up suspense, which does work.

But how to surprise the reader without a loud sound like they have in movies? That's a tough one. Two ideas:

You have to make what happens surprise the reader. Here's one example from my latest novel:



I don't know if that works or not, but it was my attempt to shock the reader.

Another idea is to describe how the sudden item affects the main, point-of-view character. To do that, you have to get into their head. Here's another sample, this time describing how it feels to be shot with an arrow in your back:



FWIW, these are just some ideas.

Thanks! The first one was more grossing than surprising me. The second one really worked the shock factor.

I agree with Varon. If it fits with the tone of the novel, use the actual word in italics.

However, that technique usually doesn't fit with fantasy novels. I would describe the loud noise using vivid imagery (like Varon demonstrated), and convey the suddenness through your choice of words, sentence structure, and surrounding happenings like character reaction. How you write the scene can have a big effect on the tone. Often, short sentences give an abrupt feeling, for example.

What happens to Troslam? Does he live?! Wait, don't tell me, don't tell me.
You know why; that would spoil it.

I don't usually write the sound itself, but the effect of the sound on the subject. For example:



You know how you would react to a sound, such as gooseflesh crawling up your arms, or your hair standing on end in suspense, so that is how I would write them. Put your reader into the character, and describe how the noise effects them. That's how I do it, anyway.

Troslam lives, but in a rather round-about way. (He visits the Grail Castle first!)

That's a very vivid description, Aussie, and sound advice.

That's also how I do it, though I might make rare exceptions depending on the tone of what I'm writing.

Thanks, Philly!


Same. If a gun fires, I would probably write "Bang!" and how the noise affected the characters.

Although, since I'm writing a medieval story at the moment, I have several "Shinnng!" sounds for drawing swords.

To me loud noises isn't really usable in novels...

I admittedly use words like BOOM and BANG and CRACK! (For lightning) in my book, but not very often. I've never had an issue with it when reading, either. But it would have less place in a fantasy novel, especially if you're going for something with the feel of Lord of the Rings.

Also, writing above sounds is absolutely acceptable in comedy.

- Terra

I agree. I've never had a problem with it. In fact, when I write or read something like this, it can often add an interesting effect:



Not a very good example of what I generally use. I try to avoid it, but sometimes it can add a nice effect. When I'm trying to convey a certain 'feel' that otherwise be lost. It's an artistic thing that should be used sparingly, but when done well can be very effective.

This is a very good example of a place where the sound-word is more effective than a formal description. "A cracking sound came from the bushes... The sound came again" would not have nearly as much impact as the simple, foreboding word crack.

Yes! Yes please writers! I groan when I see things that say stuff like...
The ducky fell on the floor. quack!

And

Ka-plunk, he fell into the water!

And

He fell down the stairs, which were covered in cherry jello! It sounded like this; sqack, plunk, quack, bonk, squeek, scream, ouchie, boo-boo.
I hate those more than I don't like when the MC talks directly to the reader! *shivers*

I've seen MCs talk directly to readers, and I liked it. It's like they are telling the story.

'Tis more of a opinion than a rule, what I said and all.

*nods and returns to topic *

Tolkien used some loud sounds in Moria:

"Nothing more was heard for several minutes; but then there came out of the depths faint knocks: tom-tap, tap-tom. They stopped, and when the echoes had died away, they were repeated: tap-tom, tom-tap, tap-tap, tom. They sounded disquietingly like signals of some sort; but after a while the knocking died away and was not heard again.

'That was the sound of a hammer, or I have never heard one,' said Gimli."


"Gandalf had hardly spoken these words, when there came a great noise: a rolling Boom that seemed to come form depths far below, and to tremble in the stone at their feet. They sprang towards the door in alarm. Doom, doom it rolled again as if huge hands were turning the very caverns of Moria into a vast drum. Then there came an echoing blast: a great horn was blown in the hall, and answering horns and harsh cries were heard further off. There was a hurrying sound of many feet."



Robert Louis Stevenson used some in Treasure Island:

"He was raising his arm and his voice, and plainly meant to lead a charge. But just then - crack! crack! crack! - three musket-shots flashed out of the thicket. Merry tumbled head foremost into the excavation; the man with the bandage spun round like a teetotum, and fell all his length upon his side, where he lay dead, but still twitching; and the other three turned and ran for it with all their might."


Those are some examples of good ways to use them. It is hard when discussing writing to say "never do this, except when..." It seems that whenever you say something like that some one goes and does it and it works. Instead of trying to use endless exceptions, and re-exceptions and caveats and disclaimers, I think you should analyze and make your decisions case by case: "What should I use here?" "Does this fit the mood?" "Should I skip this, and describe this some other way?" and so on.

But you can give more flexible advice, like "My favorite onomatopoeia is Crack." or "Putting sounds like Crash into a separate paragraph tends to be over dramatic." Rules like "Never use the sound Bang!" could be better phrased as cautions: "People often misuse the sound Bang! It is easy to spoil a serious scene by misusing it."


By the way, I made up "Bkoom" as a more hollow, tearing explosive-sound. But I have not used it yet.

Thanks for thar advice, Tsahraf! It was very helpful.

Thanks Tsahraf! That is true.

It's nice to see proper use of loud sounds... as long as I don't see onomonopias like boombachowhow, teehee

Now some really good writer is going to use Boombachowhow in his book, and we will all admit that it was well put. You never can tell with writers.

C. S. Lewis uses vacuum cleaners, garage doors, and billiard balls, to describe things in a Fantasy setting, and no one can deny that he is a good author. On the other hand I do not remember that Tolkien ever used such things.

There. That's another way to do it, even in a fantasy story.

I enjoy describing the way the sound affects the air (because as we all know, sound is merely air moving about). Like making it rend, snap, explode, tear, shriek, wail, pound, sag, jolt, or even decimate. Doing that kind of thing can express a similar effect to what you are wanting.

But I don't think it is possible for us to exactly replicate certain kinds of coolness that exist in movies (just like movies can't exactly replicate various other kinds of coolness us writers have a monopoly on). For example...

Imagine you are watching a movie. The hero is holding a blaster, with the barrel pointed up, and he edges around a corner into a shadowy corridor. He eyes the darkness with that ubiquitously recognizable very-epic-super-good-guy-hero-I'm-gonna-kill-the-first-monster-that-says-boo kind of look.

And all the movie-watchers go crazy about the coolness of it, and all the girls who are susceptible to such things are suddenly crush-ified.

But... no matter how brilliantly you describe such a scene in a book, you are not going to be able to replicate that exact response. Cannot happen.

But! We have other tools at our disposal... * joins in collective evil cackling *

I'm a huge fan of using onomatopoeia (plural?) in sentences.

A resounding crash could be heard from the library.

The slap of bare feet on stone echoed up the passage.

Everyone can tell what they sound like and you still get some of the theatrical feel (which is why I hate the word chortle).

For suspense I've found if you use words with similar sounds (particularly s) it feels more tense.

Jenny's pulse sped as she slipped through the half-open door with the stealth and finesse of a slinking cat.

If I want some heart-racing action shorter sentences tend to do the trick or just not giving any time between actions. I have come across several books that I can feel the setting of as if it were film, but perhaps that is the writer in me.

Haha... I don't suppose you are that writer, right?

Ooh boy. That made me chortle.
Unfortunately, that's true.
I've been wondering, is it possible to replicate the epic "super macho tough guy hero suddenly finds himself in so much physical pain that he can't help but groan" effect? That always has a strong effect on me; is it possible to create the same effect in books?

Yes, I believe that one is doable. That falls into a "silent and very subtle awesome acting things that make movies epic that can be replicated in books" category. Which needs a thread, I believe. Would you mind starting one?

I am laughing and laughing at this thread.

*dissolves into hysterical screeches*

Crush-ified?!? Super-mach-tough-guy hero?!? Boombachowhow??? Hee hee hee!


On a more serious note, it is incredibly interesting the different dynamics movies/books have. Movies make use of mood through music, while books are dependent on mood through words and word pictures. Books are full of little funny plays on words and little wisdoms and things, while movies are pretty limited to just the story.

Very interesting.

Well, not really, but what should I call it?

Try "Subtle Movieness in Books."

Movieness... * is finding this thread funny as well *

Hmmm...

There was a movie of Les Miserables that had a narrator's voice behind the movie. There is a lot of potential in movies that people do not seem to see.

But one thing that movies cannot do is let you imagine for yourself. When you read a book you are forming the images in your own mind, but in a movie the images are given to you. In a radio drama you form your own images, but not your own sounds. The sounds are given to by the audio drama.

But you do not need a machine and access to electricity to read a book. It would be very hard to read a DVD without a machine or two.

*stifles giggle * That was hilarious, Jay.

Evidently that post was very quotable...

This thread erupted into hilariousness!

I want to comment about what Tsaraf said about C.S. Lewis using modern comparisons. It's one of the elements of his books that are just so charming. There's a narrator behind the story explaining it all to a child, "And then he said some nasty things which I can't put here or your parents wouldn't let you read this book," and he explains it so whimsically. C.S. Lewis' narrative style was the reason, when I did a stage adaption of Narnia, I had to have a narrator. A narrator who used that style to explain to the audience. It's not just the story, it's how he tells the story.

I love that style, and it works very well if you can pull it off successfully, but if you don't write in that style then of course it doesn't work for what you're trying to do. I ran into a problem with my novel the other day, trying to pull of an alarm. My problem is I always fall back on simply beginning the sentence with "suddenly" and that's a bit... predictable.

Multiple loud noises in one paragraph!

The great dragon raised its grey and white scaled head as the sound suddenly grew stronger, and he knew it to be the blast of a great horn. He knew it to be the Horn of Gaulin calling the Drayan to war. Across the valley he saw the black dragon raise to its full height, spreading its wings in anger and blowing a huge plume of fire into the sky, snaking its head back and forth and whipping its tail into the rocks and ground. It let out a sharp piercing cry and then made eye contact with the white.

I don't know if that's really so awesome a way to describe the sounds but I thought I'd share anyway.