Ren Fests sell them, and some places will teach you how to use them. People that work there are always so cool and nice. The only thing that stinks is that you have to pay to get in, but some places will cut you a break if you're in costume or have coupon days.

YKYACFWW: You know where yo buy swords.
You think Ren Fest craftsmen/women are the people to know.

I have to advise against it... it can be down-right scary at times. Not to mention your friends give you weird looks. And it can actually take a long time to get one of those arguments over with, and even when you are done one side won't be happy with how things turn out and will continually plague you with its POV even though you've told it to "Be silent."

One of the guys I know buys swords at Renaissance fairs too.

I have bought most of mine off the internet.

...you own more than one dictionary and thesaurus.

...you often take a dictionary and sometimes a thesaurus with you when you travel.

*cough* You become a Language Practitioner so you can be around words and writing all the time *cough*

- And it gives you a reason to own as many dictionaries (and kinds of dictionaries) that you can get your hands on...

you carry multiple forms of the exact same dictionary so you have one no matter where you are... just in case.

You know you're a crazy fantasy writer when... You carry an electronic pocket dictionary (like, the really expensive ones) around in your purse, wherever you go, and use it rather frequently.

ordinary HW conversations make everyone else in the room look at you like you should be in an insane asylum.

When you analyze lame books to figure out what the author did wrong.
You try to get in the author's head to figure out why he wrote a lame book.

When you try to explain all this to your dad who read the same book and he doesn't understand why you're so obsessed over something so lame.

You know I usually read these, sigh with relief glad to know I'm not the only one, and then realize how funny it would sound to a strange normal person and laugh.

You know you're a crazy fantasy writer when...
-when you're reading a book and every once in a while you mumble "POV problem." "Who are we talking about?" "Too wordy."
-when your mom is reading a book and you suddenly hear her shout from across the room, "She used to be my favorite author. Now I can't even read her book without thinking how messed up it is!" (Need I mention, my mom's my editor. )

you never watch a movie or read a book without thinking "what's the underlying theme here? What are they trying to make me believe?"

(I blame my amazing worldview teacher for this one )

YKYACFWW:

You have a dictionary and thesaurus on your smartphone and both of them have hundreds of thousands of words *bliss*

When you find getting new mechanical pencils an exciting event.

eruheran

I've done something similar:

...you've gotten book titles from song lyrics.

Song lyrics make the most awesome book titles.

. . . you're in the mood for some light reading and you pick up Les Miserables.
. . . you think that MC Hammer's full name is Main Character Hammer.

Yep.

You know you're a crazy fantasy writer when...

...the smell of leather intoxicates you.

Nice smiley answers, Jonathan.

You have a long dramatic argument with the boxes under your bed and your sisters don't even look up.

Was that your aim?

Well, I was rather surprised that no one asked me what I was doing, but I just chalked it up to my typical writer queerness.

Not to derail things, but... What were you arguing with them about?

I wanted a specific box. The conversation went like this as I pulled and shoved boxes around and tried to get the one that I thought was always right at hand but kept moving father and farther back until I had to crawl all the way under the bed.

"You can't get away from me. No indeed! I'll get you out of there and there's no where you can hide. Don't try running away, there's no where to go. Resistance is futile. I will catch up with you." et cetera.

When, in a hypothetical situation, you don't use "someone" but rather "a human" as the subject.

When your sister's anatomy homework sounds like a list of fantasy characters or races.

I do both of these.... Except of course it isn't my sister's, it's more like my science terms that make me think of Riniel's geckos.

...you can get out of your brother's trap in 12 seconds...but it took him 1.07 to get out of yours...and you had to help him.... (this is his face right now: )

*is currently choking on laughter* What kind of trap?

..when a conversation with your mom after she walks into the living while your surfing HW goes along these lines:

Mom: "Honey...Bethany?...Beth....Batonya!"

Me: *pulls earphones off ears* "Sorry...what?"

Mom: "Why are you alway smiling when you're staring at that screen?"

Me: "Cause they're all such funny fantasy writers!"

Mom: *scowls*

Me: "Ehem...sorry...Well, if you must know. I was laughing because Vanya said that she was talking to a box under her bed and I was also chatting with Manda at the same time and Dieki said "Kill them all" and when I asked him why" *takes breath in* "Manda said it was because they were both in the chat room and two Kondraels equals a funny Kondrael so I chuckled than turned to read about the conversation Vanya wrote about in the crazy fantasy writer thread and I was trying really hard no to laugh because I didn't want to scare the dog." *takes another breath* "But I don't always laugh at those things, it's something different every time."

Mom: "Okay...Vanya's the Marcher Lord right?"

Me: *nods* "Well, once ML now Council member of the Dark Lord, whi-...don't make that face he's just the site admin that they call that because he once had the one ring as his forum ring, but he changed it since he doesn't like being called that...at least that's what Inesdar said."

Mom: "So...his username is Dark Lord?..."

Me: "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. His username is Sir Emeth Mimetes which me-"

Mom: "Tell me later, your father's calling..."

Seriously...that actually happened. Funny thing is...that was a typical rant from her youngest daughter.

Funny. You you should see the sort of stuff Jay's mom probably tells him. I should know, I'm a forum admin, and I have a mom. It can be entertaining.

hahahaha!!!

Actually I am a Marcher Lord. I'm a Marcher Lord and a Council Member. We go from no one knowing what the Council is to no one realizing that Council members are just Marcher Lord's who... do extra stuff.

That's hilarious. My family would have stopped me after the first six words. My dad actually confessed chat had it's uses when I explained that it helped me with writer's block so I didn't have to pace and rant at my family.

Yes, but your umm...thingy...page where I can see your ring. *complete mind blank* says that you're a council member. Which makes your official title a council member, yes? Sorry, had to ask....

My sister stops me after a few seconds. My mom doesn't seem to be paying attention sometimes...but somehow she holds all that information. and my dad listens, but forgets in a few hours...so really the only one I rant to is my mom.

Yes, officially it should be "Council Member", since Marcher Lord is denoted by "Council Member".

Hehe. My Mom still denies chat has any purpose, even on my own website. She always comes up behind me and goes "Who are you chatting with!" and it makes me jump.

But she's also the only one who will listen to my monologues on the various forum I'm on, and she also gives great administration advice.

My parents probably don't even realize that I'm a moderator...to them HWs is just some wacko forum that I'm on all the time...

It was just us tying each-other to a chair...quite fun...

Hehe...my family knows painfully well that I'm an Editor...I bounced around for about a week ranting about it non-stop.

...and that report is "100%! See? All these authors could not have all been wrong!"

*laughs! *

That was a pretty good retelling

An excellent research opportunity.

I just make "my basement" references whenever there is a cave or dungeon scene.

When you wish you had a basement to call the dungeon

eruheran

when you cry and try to find any way a loved character in the book you're reading wouldn't die, and then realize your fans will be doing the same in a few years...

I call my cellar "The Lair" but years ago (when my sister still played with me) we always used it for the dungeon. It's wet, has a dirt floor, cave crickets live there...