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Elly
 Post subject: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 4th, 2011, 4:48 pm 
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Candy

Appearance
Hair
.....-Sun's rays
Long
.....-Willow tree
Smile
.....-Endless river
.....-Rose
Face
Kind
.....-Helping hand

Personality
Sweet
.....-Penny candy
.....-Chocolate
.....-Ruby lips
Funny
.....-Comedian
.....-Joke

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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one... -Imagine by John Lennon
A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin
It's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain... -November Rain, Guns'NRoses
Romans 12:18- If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

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Rachel Newhouse
 Post subject: Re: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 4th, 2011, 5:57 pm 
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She sounds like someone who is simple and sweet - and probably laughs a lot. Candy is a good name. :D

I would probably try and use some metaphors that are a little longer, more specific, and more descriptive. "Sun's rays" paints a specific picture, but "river" is vaguer. A river can have a lot of feels depending on its type and how it's used. :D

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Elly
 Post subject: Re: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 5th, 2011, 2:43 pm 
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In fact, the title of my book is "Sweet as Candy"! :D

For "river", I think that "broad river" or "endless river" is a stronger metaphor. What do you think? :)

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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one... -Imagine by John Lennon
A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin
It's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain... -November Rain, Guns'NRoses
Romans 12:18- If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

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Rachel Newhouse
 Post subject: Re: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 5th, 2011, 4:41 pm 
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Only you know what you're going for with "river"! Both of those paint a more specific picture, though.

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Kiev Shawn
 Post subject: Re: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 5th, 2011, 4:43 pm 
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Location: Smacking my rascally MC and wanting fish and chips.
I like it, Elly! (And I must say I'm intrigued further by your story)

You can have very long\detailed metaphors... :D They add definition and clarity, if I'm making any sense at all.

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Elly
 Post subject: Re: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 5th, 2011, 7:17 pm 
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It makes perfect, unperfect sense. ;)

I'm going to edit my post and put "endless river". :D

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You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams
You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one... -Imagine by John Lennon
A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin
It's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain... -November Rain, Guns'NRoses
Romans 12:18- If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

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Lady Shanai-Irisis
 Post subject: Re: Candy's Essence
PostPosted: February 17th, 2011, 12:19 am 
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Yes, Elly, I echo what the others have said. But she does seem like a very sweet, simple girl!

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Lady Shanai-Irisis

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