So I was going to post a character sketch for my MC for Saving Souls, Safe Heart, but apparently it's really hard for me to write a paragraph about her. To substitute for this problem I just took an excerpt from my chapter 5 that I thought best described her weaknesses. In the event that this confuses people I'll write a little summery of her role in the book. (But most of this probably won't make since unless you've read my "Saving Souls" post)
Safe Heart (who's birth name is Elizabeth, but it was changed) is the girl that is supposed to set things right during the Last Days. So she has to set off on a journey across the desert and through the forest to reach Fallen's gates. In this scene she and Light Blade (another MC) are staying the night in the forest and Fallen's spirits are tempting her.
Sorry, I'm not good at summaries, anyways, just enjoy the scene and tell me what you think
!
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Safe Heart lay on the ground next to Light Blade, her back turned to his sleeping figure. The fire that had given them light a few hours ago now nothing more than smoldering sticks and leaves barely giving off enough light to be visible.
She stared blankly into the darkness that slowly creeped into her heart. Her hands were neatly folded under head as she lay there, awake and in deep thought. Her mind wandered from the key attached to her wrist, to the thunder that she had heard that evening.
And as she thought smoke began to wisp around the woods, covering the ground with fog. She sat up and watched as the silver fog circled around her and covered Light Blade's body. Unrecognizable whispers began to reach her ears. The smoke began to form into a figure. She drew her sword, but it's blade would have only gone through the now clearly visible male figure. The smoke continued to slither around the ground as it grew into a pillar once again forming a shape. Safe Heart simply watched entirely helpless, her speech left her as she listened to the never ending whispers that seemed to hypnotize her and steal her common sense.
The pillar of smoke formed into a female figure with long hair. Safe Heart stared at the almost translucent beings that stood in front of her and eyed her with their black eyes.
"Elizabeth." came the female figures voice, echoing in Safe Heart's ears and stopping her heart.
She simply stared up at the female figure that stood not three feet in front of her. She was suddenly aware of her unmasked face, revealing her feminine facial features and long red hair, the end of her hair resting on the ground as she sat on the ground her sword pointing at the feminine figure in front of her, being grasped tightly by her shaking and bandaged hand.
"We've come to help you." the male spoke this time his voice just under a whisper lingering close to Safe Heart as his words sunk into her and sent her mind on a train of thought.
The female walked over to Safe Heart and placed her hand on Safe Heart's bandaged one. Safe Heart stood mesmerized as she watched the white bandage disappear along with the stitches, than the red mark across her knuckle growing smaller until finally disappearing, "We can heal you." the figure whispered than stepped back from Safe Heart.
Her sword now visibly shook as the words of these dark spirits sent fear scorching through her heart. She stood up and faced them both, the fog still covered her resting companion, who she desperately hoped would wake up.
"You fear what is to come, do you not?" the male figure spoke as he slowly creeped to the ashes of the fire. "We can make it so you do not have to fear, so it never comes to pass."
Safe Heart watched and finally regained her speech to a small extent, "H-how?" she shuddered her voice sounding as if it was a scream compared to the whispers from the spirits.
"The same way we did with your grandmother." the female figure stated as she too edged towards the ashes of the fire that the male figure now stood by.
"My grandmother?" Safe Heart questioned lowering her voice this time, to just above a whisper.
"Yes, dear. Do you not know?" the female figure spoke stopping at the edge of the ashes.
"Your grandmother was a questioning heart." the male spoke presenting a leather pouch out of the smokey air.
"What do you imply?" Safe Heart replied her voice shaking from the darkness that seemed to encase her mind.
"Before her everyone believed in..." The male paused in his sentence searching for a name that was not his name.
"Taviel?" Safe Heart chimed in chirpily, the feel of his name on her lips giving her a small burst of strength, but it vanished quickly once she saw the faces of disgust on the male and female forms.
"Yes." the male spoke spitting his words out, than composing himself and speaking in the devious whisper once again, "But your grandmother questioned. She had questions nobody knew the answers too...or at least not the answers she wanted."
"What does this have to do with me? I am not my grandmother." Safe Heart spoke trying to convince herself of her words.
The male handed a small handful of whatever powdery contents were in his leather pouch to the female figure, she took them than turned back to Safe Heart, "She began to fear what would happen too, what would happen after death if the religion she had been taught was not true."
"Until she met, Fallen." the male filled in.
Safe Heart's heart stopped as her worst fears were confirmed, she turned to Light Blade's resting body and kneeled beside him, shaking him franticly. "Wake up!" she yelled, but he remained asleep.
"Don't bother." the male said, Safe Heart turned to him and stood up her sword still grasped tightly in her hand, "he won't wake up until we decide it's time for him to wake up."
Safe Heart stared at the two figures her eyes darting from one to the other, not knowing which one she should keep her eyes on.
"Your grandmother was a reliable asset to our master." the male spoke again his whisper reaching Safe Heart's ears and sending shivers through her body, "We gave her what she wanted, the answer to life after death, to everything she never believed in."
"Yes, dear. Wouldn't you too want that?" the female spoke her left hand in a loose fist, holding the powdery material she had been handed earlier.
"All you have to do is follow the fallen." they spoke together now as in a chorus of deception, "Just do what your body asks for you to do." Safe Heart began to feel tired as the chorus spoke and her sword slowly drooped as she lowered her arm. "There would be no war, you would have nothing to fear... As your grandmother did, you too shall do."
The sword fell to the ground making a small clanking sound as its blade knocked against the tree trunk, snapping Safe Heart out of her weary daze, "Stop!" she suddenly yelled before she had time to think of anything else.
"You will not come with us?" the female questioned, her voice barely audible.
"No, I will not!" Safe Heart screamed than bent down to reach for her sword.
As she bent down to reach it, "Very well.' they said together and threw the powdery material into the ashes of the fire. A huge flame erupted from them and Safe Heart threw herself on the ground as the flames licked at her feet and the canopy of dying trees simply begging them to catch on fire.
Just as she grasped her sword in her hand once again, the shadow figures simply dissolved and with them the fog that had been covering Light Blade, leaving Safe Heart with the raging flames.
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Well, what do you think? *sits on edge of seat waiting for replies* it occurred to me that I didn't explain what she looked like so I attached a drawing of her. It's not very detailed...or good, because I used my iPad, so I used my finger. And also I'm not good at drawing people. Anyways, here it is:
Attachment:
Safe Heart pic.JPG [ 214.7 KiB | Viewed 287 times ]
Bethany Faith
Keep up the good work! Hope you post more?
I was really drawn in by that. That was very unique. I can't say that I've seen something like that -- that is, temptation -- done this way before.
)