G'day all! I was looking through this thread and was encouraged by what some users were posting about their future families. So with that in mind: What does your ideal future family look like?

As someone from a large family, I know that I'd like to see as many kids as God (and future wife) agree to, helping around our farm, coming in at evening for supper, and then having our own music worship session after the meal.

I don't know that I particularly have an ideal... I know that I want a good number of children, and that I fully intend to homeschool them. I would like to live in the country rather than the city or suburbs, but the rest is essentially undetermined.

I'm going to be Captain von Trapp, I swear.

I'd like at least a few children, I suppose. Beautiful house modeled after the Bacon Memorial Library. But again, rather on the more disciplined side....

I also plan to homeschool.

More recently, I've not wanted children/husband, so maybe a cat or a lizard.

Holy Worlds should start a writing co-op.

Hmm, I always said I'd like 5 children, but as I've got older (26 now) I'm trying to be more realistic. Plus I suppose it all depends on how many my (God willing) future husband wants. I don't think I could cope with more than five though. I would love to homeschool, but again, it takes two to decide something like that. I'd love to do little Bible studies with the kids growing up, teaching my children to love the Lord. Where we settle down isn't really something I've dwelt on much, but I'd like to live not too far from civilization, but not too country either: nicely in between. Other than that, it's not something I've dreamt about in an in-depth way, I don't have tons of plans or anything, just some wild ideas.

Wow! Looks like everyone has some good goals! I'm definitely encouraged by the homeschooling bit that has been mentioned in each of your replies! I've been homeschooled all my life and can't imagine doing anything else with my children.

Lady Abigail, do you happen to have a whistle?


You make a very good point Lady Elanor. While we can dream, a lot of these are decisions that must be made by husband and wife together.

Yessir.

My parents have a whistle for us if we ever need to be summoned from outside.

My parents have a bell (because it's louder) mounted in our house so they can call us in from the woods.

That is what they had at my grandfathers house. I much prefer it in tone and style. It is a handy thing to have when you don't want to be shouting. Excellent on a farm, I'm sure.

Ideally? This is probably going to end up a ramble about my future hopes, rather than focused on the family aspect... but I'll try my best. I'm a bit odd in what my ideal future looks like, hence why this can't really be focused solely on a family.

In the future, I want to have a father figure who unofficially adopts me; who is a real father and actually knows how to care for his family. There are a few people I would like to have as an 'adoptive father', but I don't really have to choose. I just want someone to look up to as a dad.

As for me actually getting married and having kids... ehh. I'm probably the odd one out on this forum. Most people say they want large families; a husband, lots of kids. Whereas I'm the one who says instead that I currently don't feel like I really have a huge desire for either a husband or kids.

Sure, I'd love the companionship. But I'm a wild soul with a restless heart, and the idea of committing to something that should ideally be permanent doesn't appeal to me.

I've spent most of my life tied down because of family, and I want a good long time to do what I want to do, and explore, and learn things; rather than be cooped up in the same house in the same town. I want to graduate from a university with a bachelor's degree in English and a bachelor's degree in Filmmaking. I want to get a good job, and travel the world.

On top of that, I'm unstable. Not just because I'm restless, but emotionally. It's impossible to predict my emotions from one day to the next. And any decent man deserves a stable relationship; not someone as crazy as me.

So yeah. Ideally, I'd like a companion. Maybe a few adopted kids. (I don't ever want to have biological kids, for a variety of reasons; another thing that isn't really fair to most guys I would even consider marrying.)

There's also the fact that I don't want to abandon any of my male friends just because I'm married. If I get married, my husband is going to have to accept that 3/4ths of my friends are male, and I'm not going to stop hanging out with them. Again, this is something that most guys frown upon.

So yeah. The idea of having a companion and maybe a kid or two is appealing. But for right now, I'm perfectly happy to just lone it, hang out with my friends, go on road trips, and run wild.

Me and two cats.

Would anyone really like to adopt children when they are married/in the future? I would love to adopt one day, personally. Fostering is something I'd like to do as well, I think.

My ideal family would have a husband and however many children God blesses us with. If possible, I would love to either foster some children and/or adopt. I also want to homeschool my children.

I somewhat romanticize the notion of having an open house. Allowing anyone in and showing God's love to all who do. I also really like the idea of hosting a baby box. A place for mothers to leave children rather than throwing them away or killing them. Of course, that requires living in a more populated area, which does not appeal to me, but if God desires me for that role, I'll have to make adjustments. I haven't actually put a lot of thought into fostering, but I would be willing to adopt.

Still me and two cats.

But are they adopted cats?

Yeah, they are, probably from a humane society.

You are in inspiration to our society.

This thread was super fun to read. Also, I realized it's no longer future for me. My wife and I are expecting a daughter on Valentine's Day. We already have a name picked out too.

Hopefully I'll finish law school, and we'll have lots more kids. We want to unschool our kids like I was, and be really involved in their education and in helping them do what they're passionate about from a young age. Also looking forward to catechising the kids and giving them a solid education as mini-Presbyterians.

I'd also like to teach film to homeschool students, and start a production company with my family later in life.

I do try.

And good for you, Eli! Congratulations!

The family that catechizes together stays together.

Haha. Something like that. My grandfather is a minister, and he had some pretty cool rewards for me and my siblings and cousins finishing our children's and shorter catechisms.

That would be fun times. I wasn't exposed to catechism until my senior year of high school, but I eat it up now.

A family of good friends of mine do their evening devotions by reading from missionary biographies. I'd love to do those sorts of things with my family. It's such an invigorating perspective on the power of God.

*Didn't read through the whole thread, sorry*

I would love to have a house of my own someday. Considering that I'm too stubborn to move out while I'm single unless it's a job or something that calls me away, I guess that means I need to get married first. I used to want tons of kids and I wanted to adopt as well. But since battling minor-yet-stubborn depression for the last three-at-least years, I'm questioning myself. I want as few kids as it takes to be able emotionally to give them the attention they each need. Who knows what that number will be when the time comes.

Anyways, all of that is just smoke on the horizon since I seem to have a habit of scaring all the decent guys away.

You're not looking for decent guys. You're looking for the husband God means to give you. And then you'll have as many children as He thinks you can handle.

Don't say that, neighbor.

I suppose it's wise to have moderate expectations, but you know you can heal and change, in God's will. Anyway, I think your family will be a great one.

I don't think much about an "ideal future". But I wish to have a family that is active in missions or humanitarian outreach. I would like to get married. I am independent and feel restless right now, but I don't think I would do well completely alone.

True. Thanks for the reminder.


Thank you, neighbor. *Hugs*


That's cool. My grandparents were missionaries in Nepal for many years. I've always been interested in India and Nepal because of that, but I think if I do missions it will most likely be in the states. There is a mission on the Navajo reservation in Arizona/New Mexico area that I'm interested in currently. What sort of missions would you be interested in?

*hugs* Is it the mission that you worked at over the Summer before? I am somewhat drawn to Syria/Iraq. Medical aid, or an administrative role in an aid organization, seems on my mind the most right now. I don't have any definite plans yet. But wherever I end up being I value local outreach, especially to the poor. I feel like they are your responsibility.

I was there last spring, yes. Just for a week, but I'm seriously considering going back more long-term someday.

Wow, yes. That would definitely be a dangerous mission-ground, but I know it is an extremely needy one too. And with the Lord going before and behind, not quite so dangerous as it is to the human eye.

Yes, that is true.

I've got my family. It's weird saying this.

I'm married and have two kids. Both very smart, and way cuter than any kids of mine have any right to be.

All I know right now is that I'd like to be married sometime in the future. I don't know about kids and adoption though...I used to think I'd want to adopt because I'm adopted myself, but I'm kind of scared of the things that would come with it. At any rate, I'd homeschool kids I have through middle school and maybe high school.
Oh, and pets are necessary. I'd like a couple dogs.


I've also thought about this, and I still think it's a cool idea.

My ideal future family consists of me and my love with a couple of question marks for the next generation.

I really don't know how many kids I want to have, nor am I going to just say "it's in God's hands". Ultimately it is, and I'm totally okay with that. But I also think it is okay to use Biblical forethought in the area of having children, just like the principles we use in marrying, getting a job, education, etc. (Of course, birth control that kills is out of the question...) Its kinda weird for me to say that because I come from a large family (one of 11) and my parents definitely believe that they are to function as a healthy couple and take what God gives as a result. No planning.
I'm not totally on board with the idea of using no Biblical planning principles before attempting something as big as bringing into existence a being that depends on you for literally EVERYTHING, including - besides the physical - their theology, anthropology, orthodoxy, doxology and orthopraxy; that is to say, worldview.
But... there are a lot of factors to think through, and ultimately its a decision me and my wife (future) will have to make together.
Whatever the case, I want more than three kids but not a ton. I feel like saying "I'll have as many children as God thinks I can handle" a little similar to saying "I'll just marry whoever God thinks I can handle". So yeah, no less than three... but not a ton. Children. Not wives.

I am open to the idea of adoption, but I don't know how realistic it will be for me. I'm not planning on being poor, but, you know, adoptions are stupidly expensive currently. I think fostering would be awesome as an alternative, but also harder emotionally because you can't foster forever... and they're never quite really your child.

I am not a pet guy. So pets are totally optional. Preferably not present - unnecessary economically. Sorry people...

Location literally does not matter very much to me, but I don't want to live in the country. I'm an introvert, but there are just not enough people out there. I also grew up in the city so it's normal for people to be everywhere. I also just don't like the idea of being tied to your land - so much upkeep. In the city you trim bushes and mow the lawn. Might be the same in the country, but you have way more bushes and a ton more lawn there, lol.
There are some things I'd like about the country though.

I also think the idea of an open house is really cool, but also really difficult at the same time. There's a balance between having a solid enough family reality that can take and 'absorb' the disturbance of a non family member entering the scene, and a family atmosphere that would pop when you add another human variable to the mix. I don't know if my family will have the kind of expansive, adjustable atmosphere necessary for that. Maybe it's just me personally who wouldn't be able to deal with that. I don't know. For me, home should be the retreat, the place you go to feel safe, and that can't be opened up to others without fundamentally changing. Its for you and your loved ones. But I really think families who do open up their homes like that are really really cool and I think it would be an awesome testimony to be like that as well. So I'm a little torn.

As far as school goes, I am definitely homeschooling my children during the early years, but by high school I want to foster a broader circle for them to interact with intellectually/educationally, whether that's an actual Christian co-op or something different, but with the purpose of opening up horizons for them to interact on a broader playing field personally and idealogically. Whatever the case, I want to keep my hand well involved in what my kids are learning all the way through graduation, as it is first and foremost my responsibility.
Oh! The education in the School for Beings Brought into the World by Karthmin will include catechizing! According to the Baptist revision of the Westminster Catechism, btw. And lots of reformed theology. Heh. And philosophy. 'Cuz it's simply awesome.

We're on opposite ends of the preference spectrum, but I totally get where you're coming from. (If everyone wanted to live in the country, it would be a city. >_> )

I've seen the open house function at various levels. My family are all introverts with varying levels of social anxiety and and personal space issues (meaning very large individual bubbles), so it doesn't work for us at the moment... Some families are just more extroverted and like having the company, and others just hide the family disagreements a bit more easily so that guests can be comfortable. I have met two families (one in particular more than any others) who are just so at home in the Lord that they can't help but invite everyone in. They come from a background of varying levels of social anxiety, but the love of Jesus lives in their hearts and their house, so they just make it work unbelievably well. As far as a technique for dynamics, I don't think that is something one could ever strive to establish, but I dearly hope I can emulate that in my own home one day.

Hurrah for the Westminster Catechism! I got that in my upper school learning. I really liked my Christian school education, though being such an introvert, I preferred the books and the faculty to my peer age. I still do completely. The broadened horizons of learning are excellent, but I just get along so much better with older adults than I do with people my own age. Small Christian schools are excellent, but I'm also a huge fan of as many chances to interact with adults academically and theologically as possible.

Wow... It's really interesting to see what y'all have planned for the future and great to see that some you already have your families.

One thing I'm noticing that's really great is how much everyone is seeking to glorify God through their future families. From the Bible we see how important family is and I think as a whole, our nations are starting to forget that importance.

Unfortunately, I don't have the time to address each post ahead of me but one of the latest ones that really stuck out to me was Karthmin's. I'm going the have to disagree with you on living in the city but like Riniel, I do see where you're coming from.

I definitely agree with you on the catechism, it will play a big part in my future family.

For me, the scariest thing in having a future family is my own maturity. At this point I could not consider myself ready to lead a family which means I have a lot to work on.

Also something to throw out there, (I'm going try to be really careful here because it could be taken the wrong way and may be a different view then some of you have) I think God gave humans something very special, free will. So in the end it's my belief that while God knows what the future holds, he has graciously left us the choice of who we're going to marry, etc.

Alright, sorry if that turned out to be a ramble.

I agree with you on the maturity thing. A lot of my yearning to have a family was based on my desire to belong somewhere and be important and there for people, so a lot of that deep-seated desire to be married and have children has waned since I've been putting more time and effort into my relationship with the Lord. I'm not opposed to the idea, but I do see a lot more how I won't be ready until He calls me to it. Whether He ever does or not, I don't know, but I really don't mind that thought anymore, given that there is so much He and I can do together either way.

I'm still over here with my cats.

A little story, to brag on my 3-year old daughter:

One morning a couple weeks ago got together some of her toys (stuffed animals, books, and puzzles) and said that she really wanted to give them to another little girl her age who doesn't have as much as she does. She did this without any prompting from us, entirely on her own. Not only that, but some of the things she chose to give away are things that I know she really likes to play with. So we found a couple little girls at a local shelter and she gave them away, fully understanding what she was doing and glad to do it.

I have a desire to foster with the intent to adopt. It's something I've been praying about a lot lately - learning about what to maybe expect, and the struggles that come with it. Children need families... Even if it is just one child - to that child, I pray my future family will make a world of difference.

I've always wanted to be a homeschooling mother for as long as I can remember back. Currently I'm a nurse aide, and that's been really good for me to remember I'm called right now to the stage I'm in at this point in life. I dream and pray and hope for a future family, but ultimately I've discovered I can genuinely be happy within my current sphere of influence. (Haha, and that's now when a guy has chosen to show up... We'll see where that's going as time goes on.)

Ideally, I'd like to have more than four kids and probably no more than six. I can't see myself even babysitting more than that many, so that's why the number is 6, but whoever God gives me will be good. I'm not sure how many of those would be adopted. That would be for sure something I'd have to talk about with a future husband, and of course pray about more.

<3 That is so sweet! What a blessing to be raising a child who has so much compassion at that young age.