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 Post subject: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: May 20th, 2014, 9:52 am 
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I think this is more for Christians who were raised so by their families, but after doing some research I think that it is natural for teens who are raised Christians to go through what I call a 'doubting stage'.

When I was about 15 I went through a year of quietly struggling and questioning nearly everything. I felt quite rebellious inside, but I also asked a lot of questions. How did I know God existed, why was my religion the right one, and so on. My parents had no idea that I struggled with this during my teen years because I kept it all bottled up inside, and studied myself to find answers.

However, I wondered if you guys also thought this was a natural stage for teens to go through? I think it happens at various ages for everyone, and some react differently than others and can be more vocal about it.

But I think it would definitely be realistic to portray this kind of inner conflict in ones writing - probably especially so when writing or teens, because I personally think a lot of people would relate to it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: May 21st, 2014, 4:32 pm 
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Lady Elanor wrote:

When I was about 15 I went through a year of quietly struggling and questioning nearly everything. I felt quite rebellious inside, but I also asked a lot of questions. How did I know God existed, why was my religion the right one, and so on. My Parents had no idea that I struggled during my teen years with this, because I kept it all bottled up inside, and studies myself to find answers.

However I wondered if you guys also thought this was a natural stage for teens to go through? I think it happens at various ages for everyone, and some react differently than others and can be more vocal about it.



I think if the Bereans could do it with the Apostle Paul then it's ok. Nowhere do we see condemnation for that. 'We should always search the Scriptures to see if these things be true' 'Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.'

We must question and we must prove for ourselves what is right and wrong from the Word of God and it would be quite silly just to accept mans word for it


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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: May 21st, 2014, 8:43 pm 
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It's quite possible, trust me. I imagine it probably is natural.


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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: May 21st, 2014, 8:48 pm 
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I think this is a natural stage. There is a point where teenagers are being mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared by the subconscious to be ready for life on their own. As such, ideologies and even faith must be questioned to see if one really believes it for oneself rather than just believing it because of one's parents. I think this is especially good for Christians because God doesn't want grandchildren, he wants all of us to choose him of our own accord. We shouldn't just be followers of Jesus because our parents are.

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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: May 22nd, 2014, 12:57 pm 
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This certainly seems to be natural for teens in our culture. However, I certainly wouldn't go so far as to say that it's a universally natural part of "growing up in the Faith." If a child is brought up with an understanding of and not merely a belief in the central truths of the Christian faith, he or she would seem to me to be less likely to come to a crisis of faith due to childhood beliefs seeming to lack enough strong basis.

Confounding the issue is the prevalent idea in non-Reformed circles that if one hasn't had a "salvation experience"---at least one crisis of faith---one isn't really "saved." I don't want to derail this thread into discussion of the merits of that idea, but I think that if parents or the church culture encourage one crisis of faith, it is natural for the child to undergo others.

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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: September 24th, 2014, 10:18 am 
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Legatus Christo wrote:
Lady Elanor wrote:

When I was about 15 I went through a year of quietly struggling and questioning nearly everything. I felt quite rebellious inside, but I also asked a lot of questions. How did I know God existed, why was my religion the right one, and so on. My Parents had no idea that I struggled during my teen years with this, because I kept it all bottled up inside, and studies myself to find answers.

However I wondered if you guys also thought this was a natural stage for teens to go through? I think it happens at various ages for everyone, and some react differently than others and can be more vocal about it.



I think if the Bereans could do it with the Apostle Paul then it's ok. Nowhere do we see condemnation for that. 'We should always search the Scriptures to see if these things be true' 'Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.'

We must question and we must prove for ourselves what is right and wrong from the Word of God and it would be quite silly just to accept mans word for it



That's a good way of looking at it, Andrew. :)

Dreamer Donna wrote:
It's quite possible, trust me. I imagine it probably is natural.


I think everyone I know has gone through it at some point. :)

Politician de Paz wrote:
I think this is a natural stage. There is a point where teenagers are being mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared by the subconscious to be ready for life on their own. As such, ideologies and even faith must be questioned to see if one really believes it for oneself rather than just believing it because of one's parents. I think this is especially good for Christians because God doesn't want grandchildren, he wants all of us to choose him of our own accord. We shouldn't just be followers of Jesus because our parents are.


God doesn't want grandchildren, he wants all of us to choose him of our own accord.

That's an awesome quote, Paz!

kingjon wrote:
This certainly seems to be natural for teens in our culture. However, I certainly wouldn't go so far as to say that it's a universally natural part of "growing up in the Faith." If a child is brought up with an understanding of and not merely a belief in the central truths of the Christian faith, he or she would seem to me to be less likely to come to a crisis of faith due to childhood beliefs seeming to lack enough strong basis.

Confounding the issue is the prevalent idea in non-Reformed circles that if one hasn't had a "salvation experience"---at least one crisis of faith---one isn't really "saved." I don't want to derail this thread into discussion of the merits of that idea, but I think that if parents or the church culture encourage one crisis of faith, it is natural for the child to undergo others.


I don't know if it's anything to do with 'growing up in the faith' rather than is being to do with finding things out for oneself. I understand what you mean about understanding rather than belief. However some of the issues teens go through I think is due to rebellion, or an inner struggle, rather than lack of understanding. That's how I see some of it anyway.

I'm one of the 'non reformed' and I don't think I've ever expected a 'salvation experience', although it depends what you mean by that. Accepting Christ is really simple, and I don't think a sensual experience comes with it. My parents didn't even know I'd gone through a difficult time, as I kept it well hidden. I've personally never seen it encouraged in my circles, but you may indeed be right that it is. I just haven't seen it personally.

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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king

J. R. R. Tolkien


My favourite quote: "God will give His kindness for you to use when your own runs out."

Pippin's Waggy Tales

Autumn Leaves


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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: September 24th, 2014, 11:25 am 
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Lady Elanor wrote:
kingjon wrote:
This certainly seems to be natural for teens in our culture. However, I certainly wouldn't go so far as to say that it's a universally natural part of "growing up in the Faith." If a child is brought up with an understanding of and not merely a belief in the central truths of the Christian faith, he or she would seem to me to be less likely to come to a crisis of faith due to childhood beliefs seeming to lack enough strong basis.

Confounding the issue is the prevalent idea in non-Reformed circles that if one hasn't had a "salvation experience"---at least one crisis of faith---one isn't really "saved." I don't want to derail this thread into discussion of the merits of that idea, but I think that if parents or the church culture encourage one crisis of faith, it is natural for the child to undergo others.


I don't know if it's anything to do with 'growing up in the faith' rather than is being to do with finding things out for oneself. I understand what you mean about understanding rather than belief. However some of the issues teens go through I think is due to rebellion, or an inner struggle, rather than lack of understanding. That's how I see some of it anyway.


Part of my point was that "teen rebellion" is emphatically not universally part of human experience. Our culture, yes, but not as-a-rule historically. (In particular, young adults in ancient Rome didn't live on their own; they remained under the authority of the paterfamelias until his death.)

And I'm not what I mean by "understanding" was indeed clear enough: If a teenager decided to reject what he or she had been taught about basic mathematics, this would be a sign that he or she did not understand why mathematical facts have to be the way they are, and essentially no-one would just shake their heads at "kids these days" or say "He has to make up his own mind."

Lady Elanor wrote:
I'm one of the 'non reformed' and I don't think I've ever expected a 'salvation experience', although it depends what you mean by that. Accepting Christ is really simple, and I don't think a sensual experience comes with it.

I mean that if I were asked "When did you get saved?" they would expect me to be able to point to a specific time in my life, like "I knelt at the foot of my parents' bed when I was six" or "The pastor preached a sermon on such-and-such and gave an altar call ..." or "I went forward at a Billy Graham crusade ..." (The reason I said "non-Reformed" is that I and at least many Calvinists would answer that question with "I was saved about two thousand years ago on a hill called Calvary, when Christ died for me.")

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Author of A Year in Verse, a self-published collection of poetry: available in paperback and on Kindle; a second collection forthcoming in 2022 or 2023, God willing (betas wanted!).

Creator of the Shine Cycle, an expansive fantasy planned series, spanning over two centuries of an imagined world's history, several universes (including various alternate histories and our own future), and the stories of dozens of characters (many from our world).

Developer of Strategic Primer, a strategy/simulation game played by email; currently in a redesign phase after the ending of "the current campaign" in 2022.

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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: September 26th, 2014, 10:36 am 
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Personally, I think it can be a natural stage for anyone to go through, not just teens. That isn't to say that everyone has to go through a crisis of faith experience, but I don't think someone should rebuke another if they are going through one. Questioning your faith and beliefs in God can actually bring you closer to Him, I think. I would imagine God would go, "I'll be glad to show you my love and truth!"

You mention going through it alone, because you kept everything bottled up inside. My Mom always told me growing up that I shouldn't keep what I'm going through locked up like that. If someone is going through a crisis of faith, I think it could be beneficial for them to open up to another Godly person they trust and talk about their doubts. It could make walking through that uncertainty a little easier. (Please understand, Lady Eleanor, I'm not condemning your decision to keep everything to yourself. Just throwing out a suggestion for anyone reading this who may be going through (or knows someone who is going through) a crisis of faith).

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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: September 28th, 2014, 3:28 am 
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I think this doubting stage is what a lot of young Christians may go through in their teens (16-19ish). My Mum told me like this: that the parents teach their children in the ways of the Lord up to a certain age, as the child starts to learn for themselves and start to become grounded in what they are taught. The doubting part comes in when the child starts to question their faith, why their parents believe it, if it's true, why they should believe it, etc.
And in the end, as my Mum said, they will either take up for themselves the teaching that their parents gave them and grow deeper in God, or they will reject everything to do with it, and go the other direction.
I'm still struggling with questions and doubts myself. And Elanor, I did the same for awhile. I kept everything bottled up inside of me and didn't tell anyone what I was going through because I thought I was 'old enough' to shouldn't have to depend on other people to help me with my problems. But I have found that it relieves one's burden to tell it to an older and wiser Christian (in my case, my Mum), and they can help direct you.
It is, though, still up to the child whether they take on the instruction or not. :)

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 Post subject: Re: The Doubting Stage
PostPosted: March 20th, 2015, 9:00 pm 
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Developmentally, questioning and doubt is the second stage of learning, and it does come in the early to mid teen years. I have most of my characters in that phase in one respect or another. Each of them is trying to work out how to understand or how to apply aspects of their faith; some of them are doubting more fully or learning for the first time altogether. I certainly went through a great deal of internal struggle at that stage in my life (roughly twelve to sixteen).

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