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 Post subject: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 7th, 2010, 10:02 am 
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Syleh's father has been training her as an assassin. She knows nothing of the project he's working on, just that she's learning the same things he does and that she's enjoying the training. She doesn't question him on his motives or about the project. Normally this would be a strange thing to teach a child, but it's all she knows and he has his reasons.
Just before she turns 16, someone shows up at their door, and her father has to leave. She's used to this because he's had this job since before she was born. However, when he doesn't show up after a month she gets worried. Three weeks is the longest time he's ever gone, if that.
She finds his notebooks and starts looking for an explanation. One man's name is mentioned often, so she decides to find him and try to find out what's going on.
On the way there, she starts having strange dreams that become more vivid as she gets closer to finding out what happened. They all have something in common; there's one man that's always in her dreams. He seems familiar, but she doesn't know why. She only knows that she fears him.
After finding the man mentioned in her father's notes, she learns of the project and why she has been going through training (since she was an only child, she would have been expected to continue her father's work if he were to die). She meets the man's son, but refuses his help.
---I'm not sure what exactly happens next, but not long after this part in the story, she finds the man she's been seeing in her dreams. Or rather, he finds her. He has her father with him. He was using her father as bait so he could kill them both, thus hindering the project. He had been causing her to have the dreams so he could test her will and decide the best way to defeat her.
The man kills her father and Syleh is forced to fight for her life. The young man she met earlier shows up (his father had told him to follow her and make sure she was safe, because she was important), and the one who killed her father flees, deciding to deal with them later. Syleh returns with the young man to find out that she is now expected to continue her father's work.

---

Any questions or comments? I just came up with this an hour or so ago, so it's pretty rough.


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 Post subject: Re: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 7th, 2010, 11:06 am 
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I like it...definitely original. But why does the girl go back to being an assassin at the end?

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 Post subject: Re: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 7th, 2010, 11:16 am 
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Thanks! :)

I still have to figure out what the project actually is :P
I don't want it to be a bunch of mindless killing, so I'm trying to think of a good reason it would be necessary.
Her father was a vital part of the project, I'm just not sure why yet :roll:

I also haven't really found anything about the story that's Christian.


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 Post subject: Re: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 9th, 2010, 6:11 pm 
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You've got some interesting, creative ideas here. The main issue I see is that you will have to come up with some pretty amazing cause for the girl and her father to make them sympathetic. Even then you run the risk of it coming across as the ends (whatever good cause you come up with) justify the means (murder).

That's not to say the idea isn't worth developing, it just might be more challenging to come up with ways to make the protagonist engaging and (as you said) make the entire matter fit within a Biblical framework. In fact, if you can cross some of these hurdles, I think it has the potential to be powerful with lots of moral conflict, as Syleh wrestles with the morality of murder, her upbringing, and so forth.

At least that's my two cents. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 9th, 2010, 8:11 pm 
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I read a book once with assassins who were supposed to take out criminals that couldn't be convicted. In other words, everyone knew they were guilty but there was no proof, so they couldn't be executed legally at which point they would turn the case over to the assassins guild (which legally didn't exist) who would simply take out the man - illegally so to speak. So it could be something like that.

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 Post subject: Re: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 9th, 2010, 8:47 pm 
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I like what you have so far. I've got a number of thoughts:

1) What is your hero's main goal?

2) How will achieving or failing that goal affect her (character arc)

3) Same with the antagonist.

4) Do you realize what genre elements you are introducing by having the antagonist not only implant dreams into your hero, but also get inside her mind in order to see how she handles them? Is this an urban fantasy?

5) I start my stories in similar ways, plot first, and then I struggle to fill in character arcs and setting without changing my plot. I'm interested in seeing what you have to develop. The character arc of a sympathetic assassin is very intriguing. What I see is a girl having fun with her father, but when it gets serious and she has to kill, she hesitates. What if that is how her father dies: she hesitates when her training opened up a surprising opportunity to kill the bad guy and as a result of her hesitation she is knocked out or kicked away. The bad guy takes what he can by killing her dad and running away.

Then her arc could be either: come to terms with murder as a necessity when it means saving others lives who are innocent; overcoming the resentment she feels for her father for training her to be a murderer when she believes that is wrong and yet has to fight the urge to kill the bad guy; or you could explore her finding out her dad's mission is not something she agrees with and then she has to decide if loyalty or truth is more important (assuming that truth is biblical, which could incorporate Christianity or this world's Christianity into the novel).

6) Once you figure out the character arcs, think of plot points/scenes where they could go from realizing their problem to their success or failure handing/growing from that problem.

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 Post subject: Re: Just came up with a plot... need opinions.
PostPosted: August 10th, 2010, 10:23 pm 
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Her main goal is to find her father, who has been captured in order to draw her out and see how she handles things.
The antagonist's main goal is to cause the project to fall apart so he can continue with his plans. (still need to figure out what the project is and what the antagonist is trying to accomplish)

The antagonist does cause her to have dreams (I need to develop his powers further... but since he's evil it probably has to do with magic and that shouldn't be a problem), but he doesn't get inside her head as much as watch her reaction. Still have to work out exactly how he's watching her as well.

Hmm...
I think she doesn't agree with killing people, although she is glad she has those skills for when she may need them. She wants to kill the antagonist (character flaw), but is unable to. When she returns and finds that she is supposed to fill in for her father, she isn't sure what to do. I'm thinking she realizes that it's wrong and doesn't accept, though it means the project may fall apart (although maybe the project will find someone else), and many people may be angry with her. Of course then there's the problem that the antagonist may then be able to succeed.
I'm thinking the young man she meets has a problem with murder as well, and that's how she realizes what she's known all her life is wrong.

Definitely going to be some conflict, but it should be interesting.
Looks like I need to develop the antagonist next.


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