Okay, my characters and I have prepared an introductory speech for them. There are nine, so this might be a little long. Here goes.
Me: Forest, you can start anytime.
Forest: Oh, right. Sorry.
(clears throat) Uh, can I start again? I just didn't get the cue and--
Me: Alright already! MycharactersandIhavepreparedanintroductoryspeechforthem.Therearenine,sothismightbealittlelong. Go!
Forest: Right, uh. Hello, my name is Forest. I am an elvish adventuress and the Spirit Keeper of the Spirit of the Forest.
(whispered) How's that?
Me: Fine, fine. Ayanna?
Ayanna: My name is Ayanna, and I, too, am an elf, although not an adventuress. That would be Forest, who can't seem--
Me: That's NOT what you're supposed to say!
Ayanna: Oh, right. I deal with herbs and history--I do love history--and I've been Forest's...you're joking, right? You don't seriously expect me to say this.
Me: It sounds good.
Ayanna: It
sounds melodramatic, like--
Forest: Yeah, like something out of those books you read rather than spend time with us, like
Anne of Green GardersMe: That's
Anne of Green Gables, and it does not--
Ayanna: I am not some red-headed, daydreaming--
Forest: I don't see why you'd rather read stuff like that than work with us. Don't you like us?
Ayanna: Melodramatic--
Me: Quiet! Can we
please get back to the speech? Ayanna, just
say it.
Ayanna:
(sighs) Fine. IhavebeenForest'sbestfriendandbosomcompanionsinceinfancy. Happy?
Me: Close enough. Farryl!
Farryl: I am Farryl, although I don't see why I have to say that, since my name is right there.
Forest: Where?
Ayanna: To the left, Forest.
Farryl:
Anyway, I'm an elf, too. I'm fro the same village as Forest, although we're not the same kind of elf.
Ayanna: Hey, I'm from that village, too.
Farryl: Oh, yeah, and Ayanna.
Me: Owyn, start talking
now.
Owyn: Hello, I'm Owyn--although, like Farryl said, you can already see that--
Me:
Owyn...
Owyn: And I am a human. And, before
she interrupts again, let me just say how
nice it is to talk to other humans for a change!
Me: O--
Owyn: Okay, okay. I'm a farmer in a...small...village? What do you mean by using present tense? That stuff is already gone by the time I enter the story! I'm not a farmer anymore! I'm a Seeker of Revenge! And my village--
Me: Ssshh! You're giving things away!
Owyn: You brought it on yourself! If you didn't want me to give away the fact that--
Me: Autumn!
...
Me: Autumn! Come on, it's your turn.
Edän: Come on, Autumn, you'll be fine.
Autumn: Um, okay...I guess. Uh...um, hi. Uh...Edän, I really don't want to do this.
Edän: Is it alright if I say it for her?
Me: Fine, fine. As long as someone is talking loud enough to drown out Owyn while he
spills every last bean in the house!Owyn: Fine then. I'll just shut up.
Me: Edän?
Edän: This is Autumn, she's a human, too. She lives with her mother in a small village--
Autumn: Wait, wait, what? I don't live with my--
Me: You do when the story starts, so hush!
Edän: Um...okay then. I'll introduce me. I'm Edän, I'm a bard, a Teller of Tales, a Weaver of Dreams, I spin a thousand Threads of--
Me: Okay, now you're getting as melodramatic as me.
Forest: Ha! You do admit it!
Edän: What can I say, you wrote me.
Me: Yes, and I'm almost regretting writing all of you. Now...
Aretha: My turn! I'm Aretha, I'm the last human here. I'm--Ooh! Smileys! Can I use one?
Me: Yes! Just get on with it!
Aretha:
Me: Enough already!
Aretha: Okay

. I'm not actually from Santaria, like the rest of them. I come from the northern country of Uriann. My father is a merchant, and I work with him, so we travel south to Santaria to trade every summer, which is why I was captured by slave--
Me: Okay! Okay, that's good.
Aretha: But I wasn't finished!
Me:
Aretha: Oh, alright.
Orn: Hello, I'm Orn. I'm another elf. Actually, I'm an Yethia Unahlemor, or Wandering Elf. I've traveled many countries--well, a few--and I have a passion for playing the flute.
Forest:
That's the understatement of the year. You should hear him play! I've seen the trees dance to his music! It's like...it's like...
Orn: Well, I don't know if it's that good--
Forest & Ayanna: It is!
Orn:
(laughing) Alright. Anyway, I think that's all I was supposed to say. Um, why didn't you have me mention Ridiana?
Me: Uh...because it's Era's cue.
Era: You're really going to make me speak?
Me: Well, I'd really like it if you would.
Era:
(exasperated sigh Fine. For those of you who can't read anything on the far left--
Me:
Era...
Era: My name is Era. Unlike my companions, I am neither human nor Unahlemor. I believe I am one of the Teiuela, the Twilight Children, the sinlge creations of the Ghirandil, although my authoress has not seen fit to
confirm this with me, I am...
very sure of it.
Me: Um, thank you, Era. I--
Era: I'm not finished! I make my home in the depths of Halikarda Forest, that place wherein no mortals dare venture.
Farryl: Wow,
someone's got some ego going.
Era: Keep silent,
mortal. I could destroy with a wave of my hand, if I saw fit.
Farryl: Ooh, scary. Except you
won't because then you'd be written out of the story.
Era: Oh would I? Think again, pipsqueak. If I'm written out, how would the rest of them survive Halikarda? I'm essential to this story, unlike
some--
Farryl: Oh yeah? Well I'm essential too. After all, she's got to have
someone to kill!
(stunned silence)Farryl: That didn't come out quite right...
Me: Nobody speak! Forest, finish the speech now before someone tells some really vital plot twist.
Forest: But you didn't mention Miiranel!
Me: What?
Forest: There are ten of us, in case you forgot. Miiranel is something of a major character, too.
Me: Miiranel's an animal. He can't speak.
Forest: So? I'm psychically connected to nature because of the Spirit of the Forest, remember? I can translate for him.
Me: Fine. Whatever. Just do it quick.
Miiranel-Through-Forest: Hello, my friend, Star Brow--
Forest: That would be me
Miiranel-Through-Forest: My friend Star Brow calls me Miiranel, because I am a riddle to her. You would, no doubt, consider me a strange creature, as Star Brow does. I shall describe myself through her eyes, as I myself am blind.
I have the head of a large lizard; the body and legs of a wolf; a long, serpentine tail with a poisonous barb at the end; and large white, sightless eyes I lived in a cave in another world, until Star Brow brought me here through her dream.
Forest: What? Another world? What aren't you telling me about those dreams, authoress?
Me: I'll tell you later when you can't divulge it to anyone. Now, will you
please just finish this really bad idea of mine?
Forest: Sure. We are all companions on a quest to Mount Dasielle, the ancestral home of the dragyns. That's all you're going to tell them about it? You're not going to--
Me: No! You've all told quite enough already. Now, say goodbye.
Forest: Read the book! I've got some really cool dreams.
Ayanna: Hush! You shouldn't advertise. This isn't a commercial. That's a human trait.
Aretha: Hey!
Farryl:
(snickers)Owyn: Forest's got more than cool dreams in the book.
Farryl: What's that supposed to mean?
Edän: Farewell! If ever you need a tale of dashing, daring, or tragedy, feel free to call on me! I also do poetry.
Autumn: Goodbye.
(whispering) Okay, how'd I do?
Edän: You did real good. You were excellent. How do you feel?
Autumn: Oh, well, I think...I think I'm gonna be sick...
Edän: Oh. Okay, uh, bye everyone. We gotta go.
Aretha: Hold on, there.
I'm a girl,
I'll be the one to help her. But you can come.
Orn: Um, Era really wants to go, I'm gonna head out with her. Farewell!
Forest: Oh, that's fine, Orn. See you later.
Me: Wait,
I'm supposed to be in charge here!
Forest: Well, then. Be in charge.
Me:
(deep, calming breath Okay. All the rest of you, go now. I'll finish up.
Farryl: Fine.
Owyn:
(non-committal grunt)Ayanna: Alright. Come on, Forest.
Forest: Coming. Go on, Miiranel. He says bye. You'll be okay without us?
Me: I'll be fine.
Forest: Okay. Farewell.
Those are my main characters. I'm sorry if they offended anyone. As you can see, I don't exactly have them reigned in as tightly as I should. It might explain why my novel isn't done yet. If you got this far, I have only three things I can say.
1) Wow!
That's impressive perseverance
2) Thank you.
3) Farewell.
Forever and Eternity,
Elestar