For now I'll take the first seven days of Creation, but create a different path from there on a different world.

God told the first man, Goeson, and his wife, Tesera, that He created them to take care of His world and in return they could stay with him in His valley. This vast valley offered them all the adventure they could ever need, with an ocean border in the East and various fauna and animal life to sustain and entertain them. The only rule was that they could not leave the valley.

One day a monkey came up to Tesera and told her of a lake just outside the valley where she could see her reflection perfectly off the water. She told the monkey that they couldn't leave the valley, but he told her that God would understand that she just wanted to see how beautiful his creation was. Tesera convinced Goeson to follow her outside the valley and when they looked upon the water they saw their flesh rot off their face.

They ran back and cried out to God to heal their faces. God told them that because of their disobedience, they would be cast out from his valley and that one day they would die, and their punishment for their children forever after would be physical and spiritual death.

God offered them a way of salvation. He opened Tesera's womb and told her to have a child. This child would be given a gift that would cleanse them of their sin. The gift is a mirror that when looked upon with a repentant heart will take away the guilt of their sin, free them from the power of evil over their life, and will grant them acceptance into God's valley when they die.

All of this is up for revision, but this gift is where the book will hinge. Here are my options for how it is formed. The first son, Elkuund, is given the gift/ability to make the mirror, though the ingredients and power are from God. (hopefully, this avoids a works-based salvation)

1) If the son takes a redwood branch and dips it into a freshwater pond with no ripples, a staff is formed with a mirror ball on the top.

2) If the son takes a truthstone and holds it up against a redwood tree, a staff will form from the trunk and the stone will come to life on top of the staff.

I'll deal more with the "magic" of this on that section of the forum shortly.

For now, let's just assume the son obeys, the parents look into the mirror first, and are cleansed. skip to next post for edited story from here on

edited out 3/20 - Elkuund does not look into the mirror, but instead takes his staff and disappears into the forest. God hears their prayers, and tells Goeson that Elkuund is free to decide when or if he will allow God's gift to cleanse him, though God knows the outcome. God blesses them with another son, Lu, with that power to make the mirror staff.

Elkuund comes out of the woods just as Lu's staff forms in the water and offers to share rulership of the world with him. Lu rejects the offer and Elkuund tries to turn him by using his mirror staff. Lu sticks out his staff, and in the struggle Elkuund becomes enraged and stabs Lu in the heart with the bottom of his staff.

Elkuund's parents run to Lu's aid. When Tesera looks up at Elkuund, she is horrified, calls him a monster and tells him to leave them alone. Elkuund runs away and when he stops to drink in a river far away, he notices his staff and mirror are both pitch black and the skin on the top of his hands have turned dark red with streaks going up his wrist. God appears to him and tells him that is his curse for murdering his brother, but like Cain, he will be protected from being killed.

Another white mirest is born (white mirest is my class of good mirror users), but not all of Tesera's children accept God's forgiveness, and Lu eventually finds a woman to bear his children.

I have a new idea for the history, from the point of the parents being cleansed by the white staff. What if Elkuund looks into the white staff with a heart to take it's power and not as a means of being forgiven? God punishes him for coming to Him in an unworthy manner and instead of just killing him, God casts him out. The white staff is left with Goshen to give to his next son. They then have two daughters, Iru and Vensera. Iru prays for God to send them a mirest to wield the whites staff, but Vensera prays for a husband like her mom has. One day she leaves to find Elkuund and make him her husband.

While in the woods, tormented by demons, Satan comes to him and offers him a staff that he made with the power to make people his slaves. (the powers will be discussed more in the magic section) Vensera comes to him, and he agrees to be her husband if she looks into his staff. She knew she shouldn't (either by prophecy through Goshen, or an angel who appeared to warn her as she wandered after Elkuund), but she wanted a husband more than she wanted to obey God, so she looked upon Elkuund's dark staff. (could it be a dark purple staff so that it is not so obviously the opposite of the white staff?)

Vensera then bears children for him until both families, Goeshen and Elkuund have spread to multiple villages.

From here I have two ideas on how to proceed:
1) In keeping with the white staff as the means of salvation, one of Goshen's sons (maybe even great-great...grandson), Joseh - their white mirest, goes by himself on a journey to offer Elkuund God's forgiveness, by turning from his ways and looking unto the white staff. Elkuund orders Joseh's capture and execution. (problem here is that Joseh represents Jesus, but Jesus rose from the grave. Does that mean Joseh must also or can I find another way to show that ultimately God was victorious? - see option b below)

From here I could have God curse Elkuund's lands. Then my story could pick up with my protagonists, Saer and Amelle, on a quest to:
a)find the white staff and return it to the lake where it was created.
b)find the dark staff and deliver it to the lake where the white staff was created. God could give them a way to transport the staff without having to look upon it.

2) Same, but Joseh is God's Son. This leads to a faith in the Messiah message, which is what I was trying to avoid, by creating an allegory in the white staff.

What people would do to be saved if the white staff was taken away. Would their faith that God provided a white staff be enough to save them?

Yep. We'll see how I incorporate that into the story, since I doubt I would have this info dumped at the beginning of the story.

Think about this though. "The serpent was the most clever of all the land animals" (my paraphrase). Monkeys are very intelligent/clever creatures. I think it works, but that's just me.

Yeah, that, (Mr. Squishy) was where I was headed with choosing the monkey. The monkey, while seeming lighthearted and playful to some, can also look sneaky and immature as well.

I honestly just threw out the monkey idea, so it is interesting to have discussion about it. (Threw out as in random, not given up on it.)

Thank you for participating in this thread! Since this topic is ancient and inactive, Timotheus and I have agreed that it's time for it to be locked and archived.

Thanks!