So, how do you decide whether or not you're going to have romance in your book?

Honestly, I'm a girl...so...I have a tendency to write romance into my books even when I'm not intending to. The only dilemma with this being that I don't realize I'm writing a romance novel until I'm half way through (Crazy, right?) and so I'm left basically coming up with it as I go along. Which doesn't really show when you're reading (according to my sister, anyways), but it makes it hard for me to write.

Questions:
Do you write romance into your books? Why or why not?
How do you go about it?

Bethany Faith

Mine accidentally became slightly like a romance too. The only reason I'm keeping it there is because it throws a spanner into the plot and gives one character an obstacle to overcome.

There are probably whole books written on how to go about writing romance, but my simple method (which is one I also prefer reading) is keep it 2 parts adventure/action/main storyline, and 1 part romance. I can't stand sitting down to read a book that entirely revolves around how boy meets girl and they live happily ever after. (that's just me) I'd much prefer a plot outside of the romance scene, with the author trickily dragging a thread of romance into it. (National Treasure style )

That's my tiny untried opinion anyway, Bethy!

Oh, I like National Treasure Style romance. It's low key, but still there.

It's the best kind. (On a side note, we watched NT1 last night, and I was thinking of you, Airi )

Awww! I feel so loved.

My books have that exact same tendency! Then there are the books where I deliberately incorporate romance because I think I need it, and then realize I don't. Like the Last Wizard. I created a female character and she still drives me nuts because she doesn't help the story.

I think a lot of stories end up as romances simply because there's a great deal of romance in the real world. And it's an awesome way to cause character conflict. As a girl I think I also have a desire to balance the scales of male and female MCs. Books with only male characters can drive me nuts... although I have another reason for that too which is totally irrelevant and unrelated.

Prince of Yen is a fairy tale, and a romance.
Legend of Darmoor is mostly romance.
Trice is about the two MCs, who do marry, so it's also a romance.
The Last Wizard is not.
Lightning Ranger involves romance, but it's not a main theme of the book. (Not sure what the main part of the book is, actually.) Part one is a romance, part two is not, and who knows what part three is going to be.
Heroes of Ynoureth actually has two romances. Dudley and Sianna are the main ones, but also Lida and Rusha. And Daybreak and Tarique, but I don't remember what I did with them. Daybreak was mad and Tarique was suicidal so they'd make an interesting pair... unless it was Tarique and Lida. I can't remember now. It's amazing I can even remember these guys names at all. (There are seven MCs.) Daybreak's fiancée was murdered by her father before the book starts so I don't think I gave her someone else...

Anyway.

The Third Earth... well... it was supposed to have a romance. But David was a lot older than Suzanne, and I was a little worried about that. It was such an unusual situation I thought perhaps I was being overly ambitious... Suzanne's really remarkable though. So I might keep it that way. I just don't want to sound too much like Elsie Dinsmore.

City of Lies doesn't really have anything you could call romance. It's generally assumed that Illia falls in love with Ia'tahz, but I never give any indication of whether or not he returned the feelings and then I kill her anyway.

The Gatekeeper's Secret has romance too! *stares at statistics* I suppose one could say I have romance in most of my books. Maybe I should do something about that... although I really didn't like Celeste. She's kind of the setup for the sequel though. I either need to completely change her character or find some other way of... messing up the ending.

All right, enough rambling on my books.

Romance definitely shows up in some of my books. Not all of them, but probably most. I figure that it's natural, it's a part of life, and pretty frequently my characters are of a reasonable age to be thinking about romance and love and marriage.

How I go about doing it...well, usually it just happens. Not very helpful, I know. But my goal is for it to be natural, not forced. I honestly haven't gotten to the point of writing a lot of the romance that's likely to show up in my various stories, so I'm not sure I can say much more about it. I often don't get far enough into a story for it to happen.

I do have several married couples as major characters, so I've written romance-ish scenes for them before, but that's probably different than what you're looking for.

I enjoyed reading your book rambles, Vanya.

After I read 'Waiting for Her Isaac' (so very recommended for those who haven't read it), most of my stories had romance in them. I wrote a whole romance story about courting and how the couple developed a pure romance before their marriage. All of my romance novels are about a Godly romance.

I have a romantic heart, so every book I've written has some romance in it. (And I wrote my first story when I was 11!)

Most of the time the main plot revolves around an adventure or questing with some romance thrown in. Only 3 of my many started stories revolve around a couple.

The first was about unicorn and pegasus overcoming "mythical horse" differences and distance. (I wrote it when I was 13 or 14...still unfinished...)

The second is "Charlotte's Story temp title" which some of you may have read the first bit in The Fireside. It's about two childhood friends in the Victorian Era who grown up together and slowly form a bond which turns to love. (The two will have many obstacles when I get around to being inspired again. )

The last one is my current work in progress/experiment. I'm practicing my own crude version of outlining with a fan fiction I've been trying to finish for 3 or so years. That one is about two people from completely different family lives and personal struggles such as betrayal. It's a very complicated series I'm fan fiction-ing it off of so I'm not going to make the shpeel any longer.

I strive to honor God with all of my stories and especially my romancey stuff. I want help remind the world what true love is really about. ^^

~Calen

I am very romantic. I enjoy sweet, wholesome romance. I'd probably have to call myself a romance writer, to a certain degree. So far my books have been half action/adventure and half romance. The four books I have published specifically follow a couple (or two) through their relationship. That's how I planned the books. My goal is to write clean, godly romance novels since there are SO many not godly romance novels. Now those four were all historical novels.

As for my fantasy trilogy I'm working on. Book one had pretty much no romance. I wanted to lay a base of strong friendship between the characters first. Book two their relationship starts to grow to the point where they realize at the end they love each other, and book three they love each other, but aren't even really together for most of the book (and I'm sure they hate me for it, lol). That was all planned when I started writing the trilogy, however it's some of my secondary characters starting to care for each other that I never saw coming. They totally took over that part of the story themselves. So, most of the time I choose to have some romance mixed in, and sometimes my characters make their own decisions without including me.

No romance, except in one book where the romance is necessary because somehow, the family has to exist 500 years later. I had two sentences of romance and was ready to throw the whole notebook away and start over. However, I still need some in that book and some with Hunter, but I'll get to those at some point.

I try to stick with 2 parts danger, 2 parts explosion, and 1 part car chases. Everything else just falls into place.

I like romance---as long as they don't kiss and snuggle until they're married. Reading that kind of stuff makes me squirm. But some physical affection between a married couple is very sweet to me.
You have to understand, when a young woman and a young man are together for long, their hormones start kicking in. It's something deeply biological; something God built into us. The two young people can develop crushes on one another. So it's no wonder that your minor characters start having feelings for each other without your permission.

In example, they both reach into the popcorn bin and their hands brush is okay in my opinion for an unmarried couple. Married snuggling is so sweet!

Pretty much all of my books have at least a little of that. Love is a very fundemantal part of life, and it always adds another layer to the story when it's done right.

And I'll admit you might be shocked at some of the things I write. Ted Dekker is my hero...so...

Well, as an example, I have a main character who sleeps with someone before they're married. I cut the scene off before it happens, of course, but it's very obvious. And it's talked about just a little afterward. The reason for this, though, is a contrast between selfish love and selfless love, as well as the dangers of not keeping your body AND mind pure before marriage.

One thing we all need to remember is that many of our characters deal with life threatening situations.

Can I drag in Stargate for a moment? Thank you.

Jack and Sam are clearly in love. About half way through the series we all kind of wonder why they still pretend they aren't. Well, they aren't really pretending either. The thing is, because they're both in the military, and because of their work, it's a little... awkward.

But then the thought occurred to me, they spend an incredible amount of time risking their lives together. And maybe that's all they need. There is nothing that brings two people closer together than risking their lives in another cause, almost dying, saving each others lives, etc.

No one goes through the kind of things many of us put our characters through and comes out unchanged. Being captured, spending weeks sleeping on the ground, fighting, getting over each others stupid quirks, risking their lives together for another cause, it's going to bring them together. They'll share a relationship with each other that's far closer than they do with anyone who didn't share those experiences. And in the case of a man and woman, how can anyone else compare? If you've been held in the villain's dungeon and tortured how can you marry someone who hasn't, when there was someone there, being tortured as well, and encouraging you? It's... logical. It's inevitable. I think that's why so many of us find romance where we least expect it. You can't put your characters through that and expect them to walk off like it didn't happen.

My thoughts exactly, Jaynin. Which is particularly why I have a romance in my book. Er, did I say romance? No, I have no romance, at least not really. I prefer failed romance, myself. Those experiences, Jaynin, are precisely what drive my romance apart. It's fun And my poor MCs....

Varon, your comment was hilarious!

eru

I think physical touch is something that has to be balanced in a book; you can't put too much, but be realistic and don't end up putting nothing. Honestly, I'm uncomfortable with writing kissing scenes, so I don't put kissing scenes in my book. If somebody else is fine with that then I would still read their book...just skim over that scene.

That being said, it also depends on what kind of relationship I am trying to depict. If I am trying to set an example for a good, wholesome, godly relationship between my characters then my physical touches will consist of holding hands, hugging, maybe a kiss on the hand or forehead from time to time, and these things would only happen for comfort. While on the other side, if I were trying to depict a worldly, ungodly couple then I would probably write in kissing and imply that they slept together, but I wouldn't write much of it in, I would mainly use dialogue and actions to show their feelings not just physical touch.

So, in short. I think there is a balance as to whether or not your character can kiss, hug, hold hands, etc. and it really depends on what kind of relationship they have.

Anyways, great conversation here!

Bethany Faith

In general, I usually include some form of romance, yes. As Vanya said, how could they not fall in love after being through so much together? And as Luke mentioned, romance adds a valuable layer {or several layers} to the story.

Further, relationships are a fundamental part of human life and being. Humans are not just physical, emotional, mental beings - we have a spiritual aspect as well, and a spiritual emptiness that relationships {ultimately with God, but also Biblical man-woman relationships} can fill. We were created for deep relationships, relationships that go beyond a casual "hello," relationships that are godly and eternal. So, in a very real way, a story is incomplete without the godly relationship of man and woman together reflecting man's relationship with God.

That said, I am rather uncomfortable writing really mushy-romantic scenes, though I don't mind reading them, as long as they're clean and pure. In fact, I might even say that while I enjoy a godly romance, I haven't quite mastered the trick of writing one myself . {Of course, having never been married/been in such a relationship might be a *slight* hindrance } Anyway, I better get to work!

Like Bethany and Estar were saying, it's almost necessary to have that physical element in romance. Even if it's not romantic, think how much physical touches mean to us.

In a godly romance don't see holding hands, hugging, or like Bethy was saying a kiss on the hand or forehead in comfort. Then you can happen to have those unintentional "moments" where the two characters touch or do something unusual for them depending on the situation. I'll use a cliche, for example, if I girl "sprains her ankle and the guy carries her." *facepalm* That is highly overused. I understand if she's got an arrow in her leg or something, but please, not a sprain!

I've written kissing scenes, but not explicitly, and they aren't highly common in my stories. (Obviously you don't make horses kiss...) *strange mental image*

As for kissing in my stories, I haven't quite decided if it's okay for the characters to kiss when they are engaged or wait until they are on the alter...I haven't ever gotten that far. =_= For me personally, I think it's be special to have my first kiss on the altar. ^^

~Calen

On the subject of physical touch...

I think it varies from person to person, and from story to story. And again, if you and the people standing next to you just barely escaped with your lives I think hugging in a natural reaction.

I think the primary thing to consider in romance and physical contact, etc, is the motives of your characters. What are their intentions? If your characters are pure their actions will be also. And of course your characters are not only what you make them, but what you yourself are.

I like that. And, you know, hugging isn't at all romantic in itself. My best friend is a girl, and I hug her. We aren't in any sort of romantic relationship, we're like brother and sister.

That's true - I hug anyone I know, really. =P Like people at church and stuff....

eru

Me too! My little (girl) cousin is 8 and hugs me every time she sees me.

*drops a random, half-applicable note in* Yes, some communities/groups (like churches) are very huggy. I've been to churches where everyone hugs everyone else. I've even been to a church where everyone went through a line to hug/greet each other, and there was also some half-kissing (as in not quite touching the cheek). I think we might have divided up by male/female, though. If I recall correctly (it's been a long time). It was a weird experience for me because that wasn't what I was used to. But for that church, it was normal, and exchanging hugs didn't have any romantic implications.

So in terms of writing, where the author has control over the culture, you need to set the tone in which hugs and other things are given and received. Your character's personal opinions and motivations, as well as the tone of the narrative, play a big factor as well. Are you writing this hug like it's a big deal? Then it's going to be a big deal for the reader. Are you writing hugs as innocent expressions of friendship that your characters think nothing of? Your reader probably won't think anything of it, either, unless they have personal moral objections to that arrangement.

In the book I'm writing I have no romance. My main characters are 17 and below, and it would add nothing to the story if I did write it in. A couple times I've realized someone could get the wrong impression, so I am careful to make sure that my characters are seen as friends, and nothing more.

But then, I like good, Christian, romance, so long as it takes back seat to the action. I just don't ever see myself writing it. If someone needs to be married later on in a book, I'll work with it. . . Until then, I'm not going to worry about it.

This is what I posted on the HWSF sister topic on this subject:

At this stage in my life, I do not write books where a love story is the central focus, because I haven't been through that process and don't need to be dwelling on it over much. As I age and have more maturity and experience in this area, I may be called to write more stories about love, but for conviction reasons I will never write ungodly "romance." By "romance" I mean unhealthy, amoral, or overly dramatic love stories.

Many of my books do not have any romance at all. I write primarily YA books, and I believe that "romance," as most authors interpret it, is often inappropriate or unnecessary for my target audience. Romance is also a very overused plot device in my genres, so I seek to be an exception to the rule. It's a special thing to be a book without any "romance" when it is so prevalent on the market today!

I have a couple of stories where love is a factor, however. In one of my fantasy novels, I hope to have an epilogue that makes it clear that my MC is engaged to another secondary character. While I don't plan to do a lot of foreshadowing in this area, I think having this information in the epilogue wraps things up nicely and ensures that everyone had a "happy ending."

In one screenplay, I do have a relationship going between my two main characters. Both are in their 30s, and she is a widow. He is the pastor of their local church and a longtime friend. At the beginning of the story, it's made clear that they're considering a relationship. But my MC is dealing with a lot, and things get in the way. He tries to help and makes some mistakes - so when he does finally ask her, she rejects him. As her arc is learning to let go and accept help, near the end she will recognize what he's done for her, let go of the past, and marry him for a happy ending.

This story pushes borders for me, and I'm really surprised it came out like it did. But it seems to be going well, and I don't think it will be "too much." I think the romantic angle is kept in moderation by a couple of things. One, it's not the central focus. There are a lot of things going on. The relationship is just one of the things that raises the stakes and creates tension and motivation for the characters. Also, there isn't much, if any, open affection. Actually, I think most of the relationship will be implied; people aren't even going to talk about it directly. Also, seeing as they're both older and mature, and she is a widow, it has a more sober approach.

This be the main reason I have not yet written a romance:


The Two Fathers includes a romance, but it is not the main focus (though important).

eru

*didn't know there was a sister topic to this on SF*

Anyways, all nice comments.

I actually have a book idea that I've set on hold for this reason. It's a cozy mystery, written from the 1st-person POV of a 20-something novelist. However, for the story to work best, I think this MC needs to be a married woman. They don't have children yet, but there's plenty of realistic affection between her and her husband. (Especially if I kidnap him briefly. Muhaha!) On top of open affection, there are also the nuances that I (imagine) define a married relationship - she knows him like her own self, and she knows all his quirks and habits.

Even though there's nothing explicit, I found this book altogether too hard for me to write. Being from a 1st-person POV, it was just too personal. To write the book, I had to think like a married woman and create a fictional husband. It was just too much. I can't handle it, at least not right now.

So it's on hold. I had to stop reading an otherwise very good book for this same reason. It was a wonderful book, but the affection between husband and wife was just too much...

Fictional husband....

No, I know what you mean. One thing I recommend: read the Bible. Read everything it has to say about love. (whenever you do decide to write it, of course)

eru

I totally agree.

I second the agreement! Unfortunately, it's often hard to balance such parts (Mine always ends up four parts action one part romance...strange how that happens....)

eru

I think romance is a side of life, and a story is basically writing someone's life and you really need all aspects of life to do it. What good would a fantasy be without war?
It really depends how I go about it on what character it is... they kinda decide.

Yes. Oftentimes I write romance into my books. Here's why.

1. Often my characters are at that point in their lives where they are looking for someone to get married. So SOMEONE is bound to fall in love.

2. I love writing about action, and war, and political clashes, and class struggles, and all that snazzy stuff. But that isn't what makes people want to keep reading the story. (Usually. I know a few guys who disagree. ) What makes people want to keep reading is the emotions, and the real characters who are going through the same life stages, and struggles, and dilemmas that people in real life go through. And romance is part of that.

3. Why do people make war? Why do they want to make the world a better place? Sometimes it's for power or fame. Especially if you're already higher up on the food chain. But for the average, everyday person it's for love. You love something. The Lord, your family, your friends, your passion for music, whatever it is THAT is what men in war fight for the most.

Now you CAN write a story without "romance" per say. But no one should ever write a story without love in it. I've read a few, and I've hated all of them.

How do you go about it?

There isn't a blue-print. How would your characters go about it? Obviously there is a standard of purity that you as a writer shouldn't violate. But every courtship is different. The circumstances vary, etc... Get to know your characters really well.

Ahh! I had chills when I read that... I HATE cliches...... *eye twitches*




*two thumbs up* for this belief!