
Warning, it's LONG... I wouldn't recommend reading this if you haven't watched the film. It will probably ruin it for you. And, disclaimer - despite the way this sounds, I actually did enjoy the film!

I'll post it in parts...

***
I thought the opening images of the owl flying over the sky and land were gorgeous and stunning, though the strange slowmo with the loose feather kind of broke the suspension.
The playtime sequence was cute – gotta love Good Big Brother letting Cute Little Sister snuggle up to him. However, the entire passage is very OTN and obvious; you know all of that information will be important later, and you have a good idea of how it will be used. Soren believes the tales and will be vindicated; Kludd doesn’t believe them and will suffer for it. You also can bet on it that you’ll meet Lyze and the Evil King later in the story. I think some of this information could have been delivered more creatively; wouldn’t it of been cute if all of this history were delivered subtly with Soren and Eglantine playing instead of Soren telling the story straight? What if it had started out like a flashback and melded into the kids playing?
Or, perhaps, they could have extended more of Soren’s role-playing into the branching scenes. They already have a bit of it in there, and brining it out would have given the branching scenes more substance. Right now, the first branching scene doesn’t tell us a whole lot, except that the boys bicker and Soren is a better flier. (I’m actually kind of surprised that he is… almost might have been more fitting if Kludd was better, but I suppose this inferiority is what gives Kludd his desire to succeed with the Pure Ones.) I think with a little bit of work, Soren’s obsession with the old tales and Kludd’s disagreement could have been blended together more smoothly, giving the whole opening sequence more weight. All of this information is needed for the inciting incident (where the boys fight and fall out of the tree), but it could have been delivered in a more impacting, cohesive way.
I don’t think the parents’ little talk at the end of the first branching scene added anything to the film. As it stands, it seems a little unrealistic that Mom would be worrying about Soren now, when he’s no doubt been a dreamer for awhile. What if Soren’s role-playing had been extended to the branching scenes, and his goofing off caused him to fall or crash (or get in a fight with Kludd and then crash)? Then Mom might start worrying that Soren is taking this dreaming stuff a little too far. I don’t know if that would add anything to the theme, though, so I’d probably just cut it. “I worry for both of them” was a smart thing for Dad to say, though.
Gross as it is, I think the scene describing Eglantine’s first pellet was well-done. It kept the audience guessing and was educational without being boring, and the animals’ various reactions were realistic. Since they needed to explain pellets for future use in the movie, this was a good way to do it.

Soren and Kludd sneaking out to do more branching is horribly cliché. I just knew, as soon as Soren suggested it, that something inciting was going to happen because of it. Now at least, in this instance, Soren got punished for his escapades, but this literary tactic to get kids in places they normally wouldn’t be is incredibly overdone. It also seems a bit out of character for Soren… unless they were trying to portray him as arrogant. (Ultimately, I’m not sure what Soren’s main character fault was supposed to be, come to think of it…) If Soren had egged Kludd on, or Kludd had suggested it, that might have been more realistic. What if Kludd were out doing it, and fell, and Soren tried to save him? Or what if Soren went out on a limb (I mean literally) while role-playing with Eglantine and fell?
However, it is realistic the way Soren got Kludd to agree to it. It was also very appropriate that Soren would try to explain his fanciful way of thinking about flying, Kludd would get frustrated, and the two would fight and fall. That works for the story. I just think there might have been a more creative way to set it up, one that didn’t scream “They’re going to get in trouble for this! Wait for it!” If Soren and Kludd had had permission to go out, that might have been fine, but because Soren made it sound like they were doing something they shouldn’t…
Once we’ve fallen to the ground, I think it’s pretty obvious that we shouldn’t be here. The characters didn’t need to announce “We’re on the ground” and “We need to get back up.” *grin*
Having the kids get “rescued” by the Pure Ones from that ground animal was a good plot twist. I also think it’s good that they established, briefly, during the fight that Soren was willing to defend his brother but not vice versa.
I definitely think we could cut the OTN and melodramatic dialog during the kidnapping scene, from everyone. There are probably more creative ways to introduce both Grimble and Glyfie, though you do think Grimble is purely evil at this point, which is good. Not sure what to think about the bad guys joking amongst themselves… it’s funny, but it takes away their terror. Kludd falling and having to be rescued was good.
I don’t quite get this “you are now classified as orphans” stuff. No one believes that at this point, so it’s not an effective explanation on the bad guy’s part. It might have been more effective to say nothing at all, or to try something more cryptic that kept us wondering what these guys are up to. I think it’s kind of odd that some of the captive owls start refusing the Pure Ones without really knowing who they are.
I love that Soren is protective of little Glyfie, but I definitely think the whole ordeal could be set up better. It would have been interesting if Soren had been given a reason to protect Glyfie – he saw her abused or something – instead of just meeting on the way over with OTN dialog. Perhaps if Soren had met her on the ground and saw her frightened and alone, that would have been enough to spark his protective instincts and give the audience a reason to identify with the two.
Also, while I understand what happened in the exchange between Nrya and Soren, it would have been more dramatic and clear if Glyfie had done something more obvious, been facing sudden punishment, and Soren had stepped in. Right now it happens rather fast, and nobody does anything extra special (I’m rather surprised Nyra took notice at all, and that Soren and Glyfie are the only ones making objections). All Nyra does is tell Soren not to bother with the little owl, and Soren chooses to stay with Glyfie. Had we developed this relationship a little more, it could have been extremely heroic and dramatic instead of just incidental. And then Nyra’s statement of “Perhaps when you remember your nobility…” would have had more impact. In summary, I think the whole transition happened too fast and should have been spread out more to be further developed.
Everyone seems so averse to being a picker… but do any of these owlets know what a picker is? It doesn’t seem like something they would know about from the outside world. It’s okay if the audience is clueless – we pick up on people’s fear – but it seems unreasonable that everyone else knows to be afraid.
I think the incident that caused Soren and Kludd to divide was very realistic. If the issue with Glyfie had been developed better, this parting would have had more impact as well.
I think it’s kind of unnecessary that Glyfie would tell Soren that he didn’t need to help her. Also, it’s odd that Soren would rant about “I could never be with those Tytos” when we still don’t really know who the Tytos are and what they’re up to. Yes, we’ve gotten that they’re evil, but right now all we really know is that they’re making slaves out of us.
This moon-blink stuff is rather odd. It works, but they simply explain it with some OTN dialog from Gylfie and move on. Had we experienced the dangers of moon blinking more personally, or at least had it explained in a more dramatic way, it would have had more impact.
Now is a really odd time for Soren to suddenly talk about escaping. We STILL don’t even know half of what’s going on! The whole ordeal of “We’ll learn to fly in secret” is cliché, but it could have worked – if we had actually seen it. One thing I think would have been really interesting for this film would have been to see Gylfie and Soren surviving under slavery, with Soren protecting Gylfie, for a day or two, sneaking in flying lessons. That could have been very exciting, and we’d of found out more about these Pure Ones and their plans. (Then we’d know for sure that there isn’t any way out except to fly, and so forth.) What I would have done is have Grimble catch the kids during one of these flying lessons. The audience would be devastated, only to find that Grimble is on their side. That would have multiplied the drama of Grimble’s entrance, which is already pretty good. But, as it stands, all Soren says is “We’ll learn how to fly in secret” and then we don’t see any of it.
CONT.