I have a character (We'll call him Michael) who is going through a rough divorce. His wife Lily was his high school sweetheart, and they have a seven year old son named John. Lily is a career woman, working most of the day. Michael moved his schedule around at work so he is home when his son is home from school.

Lily and Michael decided to separate because she didn't want to keep supporting him/pretending to love him now that she's changed, and because he doesn't want to keep fighting. Irreconcilable differences.

Michael wants full custody of John - Lily likes her job and the power and money and she won't give up all the time to be with the boy, and Michael wants a parent to be there for him. Lily wants her son to have his mother.

Both love the boy and want what's best for him.

Michael does win custody of his son.

But I know nothing of divorce. I know that it is wrong – the breaking of a promise – but that's a different problem.

What I would like to know is how would this work? The case should take a while (a few months), so what would Michael be doing at home? What would he have to do concerning the case? What would John have to do? Would it make a difference if Lily moved out during the case? What if John spent weekends with her during the case? What difference would it make if Michael and/or Lily started seeing someone casually again during the case – as in, it started out as friendship but grew into something more? What conversations would be had concerning the case?

I don't know what to ask or what to use – and I'm aware this is a horrid topic. However, I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and any assistance rendered would be greatly appreciated. Any reference material likewise.

Thank you so much for any help you can give.

I also have no idea if this is the right place for this post? But it fit best – my apologies if I was incorrect....

Unfortunately I haven't gone through divorce , so I can't answer your questions directly. However, I would recommend searching the internet for blogs/YouTube videos of people who have gone through divorce. People are very public nowadays, plus there are plenty of blogs--even Christian ones--where people have "come out" with their story in retrospect. You could also consider looking up sites that offer legal advice for more details on the proceedings.

If you know any lawyers, consider contacting them about legal proceedings. You may also consider if there's anyone you know that has gone through a divorce, someone you know well enough who wouldn't mind if you approached them on the subject. Someone who has come out about their story, or who has already happily remarried or moved on, might not mind talking about it.

I do know that the father winning full or majority custody of the children is unusual, because courts tend to automatically side with the mother. So that's definitely something to research and consider. See if you can find some blogs where dads who are fighting for/have won custody are talking about their experiences.

Blogs are a good idea..... Videos I tend to avoid just because I find the majority are dull for me (short attention span in that regard....), but blogs.... I didn't think of that although I did search for divorce - but I was mostly searching for the legal aspect. Merci!!

Would you have any that you would recommend perchance?

No big deal if you haven't of course...

Sadly, I don't know anyone off the top of my head that's blogged. Sorry.

My husband's parents divorced when he was in 5th grade (I think that was the age). I don't know if your characters are Christian but I can tell you custody cases can get pretty nasty, regardless of how much both parents love their child/ren. In my hubby's case, they battled for a year, and all the anger his mother felt at his father for everything leading up to the divorce was manifested in that custody proceeding. Hubby & his brother were caught in the middle with their parents unintentionally drawing them into the fight; Hubby feeling he needed to be there for his mom while his younger brother drew closer to his dad. But she let her desire to get back at him override anything else. She won custody and his brother ran away repeatedly, wanting to be with his father. Eventually his father was forced to actually leave the state, just to prevent his son from running off all the time. And as soon as he turned 15, the courts let him decide who he wanted to be with and he was off to live with his dad immediately.

I'm not sure what the deciding factor was for why she got custody, though I'm guessing his PTSD and disabilities after Vietnam (making him unable to work) didn't help his case.

My sister also had a long, bitter case but hers wasn't about custody so much as visitation. Her ex has massive psychological issues (hallucinations among other things) and he wasn't allowed around the children unsupervised. Oh, and two women I know from Bible Study have grandchildren in the midst of custody cases. In one, the mother had a terminal cancer and the father was given custody after she passed, even though he had a history of violence and she had wanted custody to go to her parents. They are still fighting it. In the other, similar situation only the mother is fine. He was granted joint custody despite documented massive psychological abuse and temper issues. The initial ruling, the judge wanted to think about it for 2 weeks and the dad blew up, nearly got jailed for contempt, and yet he still gets them every two weeks.

It's a sticky, tricky issue and I'm sure different states have different rules that factor in as well. The above cases I've mentioned took place in Wyoming, Florida and Colorado.

Here's an interesting article about the process: http://www.wwdlaw.com/article/123/what- ... t-child-cu