Just a bit of an idea, based on part of a dream I had.

Quick (only) Excerpt:
I was annoying and fail to mention what the captain's news is: the king is dead.

This is all still very rough and who knows if I'll ever be able to figure it all out, but here are my messy notes.

Captain Utaangard is an archer at the castle of his king. His people have, for months, been at war with another country. They have tried their best, but have continuously been driven back until the enemy is at the capital. The king is slain while defending the capital thus leaving his crown to his eldest daughter (the one who is eventually called The Lavender Queen). With her new power, the queen chooses to surrender and save what is left of her people (unknown reason why her father never surrendered).

Before surrendering, Utaangard is injured. This actually saves him in the end as all his fellow captains are 'punished' for remaining loyal (in order to keep them from rebelling). Secretly, before the enemy enters the keep to meet the queen, she sends away the next oldest child; her sister (she knows that she will be required to marry the enemy king to keep her country in check, but she hopes that her sister will one day free her people). Utaangard, because of his injury, can never use a bow again (something he's been able to do all his life).

Utaangard (Utaan) eventually goes to live with his extended family. The Lavender Queen's sister, Synuurd (Syn), is 17 and agrees with her sister to go into hiding (though she fears for her sister's safety). Syn's protector, Tagannber (Taga), is tasked with finding a safe place for her to live. Taga brings her to his home and they live in peace for months (the whole time Syn learns to blend in), but then they are betrayed to the Lavender Queen (who must now do as her husband commands). Taga and Syn flee from town to town, searching for a place to hide. Eventually Taga hears of Utaan (they once knew each other) and Taga brings Syn to him.

Taga asks Utaan to hide Syn, but Utaan hates his once rulers because of what the Lavender Queen decided. The two are sent away by Utaan, but only a day later Taga is killed. Syn barely escapes back to Utaan as he is the only person nearby she knows might help her. Utaan is tempted to turn Syn over to the guards, but she uses him as a distraction and escapes. Utaan is punished for hiding a fugitive.


Yoips! That's.... really messy, hehehe. Anywho, any ideas or suggestions would be most welcomed I'm horrible at filling my stories in and this is one of the few that has no end figured out yet (most of my stories appear with the end involved).

Beautiful excerpt. Love the description.

I also love all the political intrigue! Very complicated plot and drama. Question--who's the MC?

Exactly xD

Right now it's a bit of a toss up between Utaan and Syn. I don't think I'm going to keep it in 1st person... that's just how the excerpt came out. So, perhaps they'll be my two POV characters (though, from my initial thoughts, Utaan undergoes more change... but that's subject to change).

EDIT: Perhaps the Lavender Queen will be a POV character too... I don't normally have the 'enemy's' POV in my books, but this could be interesting.

Both Utaan and Syn seem to have enough plot to warrant being POV characters. Switching between a boy's and a girl's POV as such could add a lot of dimension.

I could definitely see throwing some of the queen's scenes in there, although I'd be wary of trying to juggle that many first-person POV scenes. She's not a true "antagonist," but irregardless, her side would be interesting to see. But right now it doesn't sound like she has enough plot to be a dominant POV character. That could change, of course.

Fascinating! I likes muchly.

I agree with Philly that the boy/girl POV switches would work well. Maybe a very few scenes of the queen's POV might work too, just to break up the story a bit.

I can see romantic potential between Syn and Utaan. Syn might well bring Utaan around to her side, and the reluctant hero ends up saving the kingdom, or some such other ending. /ramble. But I like it! I look forward to seeing where you take it.

I think Syn has turned into more of the MC than either Utaan or the queen (who still has no name). I've got a better idea of their characters now though

Synuurd - The youngest child of the king, Syn was never meant to see the throne. She's untrained as a ruler, unconfident, and reliant on others. If give a task to complete, Syn can normally figure out how to do it but, like anyone, does best in relation to things she knows. Now she is faced, not only with a shift in status, but also the fact that she has to guide herself. Taga was with her from childhood, but once he dies she has no one left. Syn must learn to live with her own decisions and be confident even when she has doubts.

Utaangard - Once a ranked member of the king's archers, Utaan was confident in his position and his king. Wounded during the siege, Utaan is left because he isn't considered a threat and that's the truth. With no chance to fight and win or fight and die honorably, Utaan chooses to return home. His ability to fight taken away and his men murdered or disabled, Utaan is alone and alone is what he hates the most. He hates his queen for giving up. He hates himself for surviving when others did not. He hates most that there is nothing he can do about it. What Utaan must learn is that there is more than himself and his desires.

The Queen - One of the last two children of the king, the queen was also never meant to be queen. Her brothers and father died in the war and her crown was thrust upon her. The queen has good intentions, but she cannot see the bigger picture. She lives in the here and now and what she can see at the moment. She lacks creativity and imagination, thinking that she has only a handful of options to choose from she picks what is the immediate best for her people. That is her finest point, the queen cares for the people, she has sympathy for them, but her concern is too present. She would rather that she suffer than her people suffer, but what she cannot see is that her choice to surrender has caused both. The queen needs to learn that she cannot always be at the whim of her people's immediate needs, she needs to look to their future.


Note to myself
(attempts at summarization...)
It starts with two countries at war (no names as of yet). The primary country, the one the story focuses on, is practically defeated and (as it currently sits in my head) the opening of the book is the siege of the capital city. The king is killed in battle and for a few hours his elder (of two) daughters is queen. Shortly after her father's death, the now-queen chooses to surrender and save what is left of her people. In secret, she sends away her younger sister, Synuurd, with hopes that she might live a safe and happy life.

Syn lives in peace for a few months with the help of Tagannber, a loyal servant she grew up under, but someone betrays her to the new king and Taga and Syn are forced to flee. They seek help from Utaan, previously a captain and archer who fought in the final siege. Utaan was wounded, which saved his life, but he is angry with his previous monarchs and refuses to help.


The king is dead and the capital destroyed when the elder daughter chooses to surrender to their enemies and save what is left of her people. Synuurd, the younger sister of the queen, is sent away to be protected, but is eventually betrayed. Her protector, Tagannber, is killed while on the run and Syn is left with no one to turn to.

Trying out some new names for size...

Full Name (Shortened)
Dythanwy (Dyth)
Ahlys (Ahl)
Athwynn (Wynn)
Annur (Ahnn)
Silwyn (Sil)
Maerik (Maer)
Eronyth (Erony)
Kyneyth (Kyne)
Rhonyth (Rhon)
Tegeth (Tege)
Gwaethyr (Gwae)
Rhishun (Rhish)
Athvwinn (Vwinn)
Kynewen (Kyne)
Syryole (Syr)
Blodwyn (Blod)
Ahlwen (Ahl)
Emlyn (Em)
Mareduth


TESTING
Synuurd is now: Silwyn - Sil (means: fair or white sun)
Utaangard is now: Dythanwy - Dyth (means: delight or precious)
The Queen is now: Eronyth - Erony (means: river or berry)
Tagannber is now: Tegeth - Tege (means: fair one)
The King is now: Ahlys - Ahl (means: noble)



Possible Surnames:
Awbrey
Bengough - red head
Eynon - anvil
Byther
Gudwygan
Kthuggan
Dewyth
Kedward
Emment
Evance
Kethin - ugly
Pendry
Ithael
Kendrik
Talacharn
Lodwick
Ednyfed - knight
Rhys
Rhytherch - liberal
Rowland - fame + land
Tannatt
Sayce
Watters - rule + warrior

Playing with some Yiddish:

Gʻpʻrlʻk ʼwyb dʻrwwʻqt
Wwʼalyʼant wwʼáryʻr
Ṗrʼatʻqtyww lwyʼalty
Dʻrmʼánwng pwn gʼát

Mlẖmh pwn dy dryya brʻnʻn byymʻr

*partially gives up pronouncing*

G'prylk 'wyb D'rawk't
Val'y'ant W'ary'r
Prak'tyv 'Lawy'alty
Dram'ang on G'at

M'yl'hmh ondy Dryya Br'n'n Byym'r


G'prilik yib Drawket
Valaeant Wary'ir
Praktiv Law'yalty
Dramang on Gat

Myhelmeh ondy Dryah Bernin Bymer


I might like that second set the best... hmm...