Hello laddies, I am new to this fine forum and thus am quite confused on where to put this thread. I hereby ask for your forgiveness for my lack of knowledge. Now moving on!

"Long ago on the black seas of Rettengol a mighty battle took place between the ships of King Balera and Ferevor, the dark pirate of the Northern Seas. In the end, Balera was overtaken by Ferevor's pirate magic and Ferevor seized his ships. On one of the ships, the Slave, was found three jewels of dark traits. One of which shone purple and hypnotized Ferevor with its power. The pirate was hunted by numerous evils for possessing the jewel that he was driven to bury it under the White Mountains. The gem was found thousands of years later by miners of the wicked Queen Seirol. The queen renamed herself 'The Queen of Purple' and used the dark powers of the jewel to rule her kingdom in darkness. Eventually the queen died and the jewel was buried with her, until an alchemist found it hundreds of years later. Only this time the spirit of the queen possessed the jewel and the alchemist was driven insane. Using his alchemist wizardry he melted the jewel into a liquid and locked the vial away....forever.

Now fast forward to the year 1920, in an alternate universe. Young-ish Nickel Hobbs has recruited the alchemist Samal to help him track down the dark vial. Samal is a reclusive and self-respecting man who hates being called a wizard, as he sees himself as a progressive man of science alone. His rival, Miethda, though not particularly evil, finds enjoyment in setting snares for the pair along the journey and ultimately want to steal the vial for himself."

This is the premise for my in-development film and I would ADORE you if you left your opinion below. Feel free to criticize me thoroughly.

~The Alchemist

Welcome to Holy Worlds! If you want to introduce yourself and allow us to formally shower you in virtual glitter in greeting, there is a place for that.

Other than that, this sounds like a great beginning for a story! But am I the only one that thinks that the purple gem seems an awful lot like the One Ring from Lord of the Rings? I'm not an avid fan of it so if a well-versed fan of the series would like to correct me or back me up I'd be ever so grateful. I'd also like to hear more about this alternate world in the 20s. For me, the only thing that comes to mind is jazz.

Wow I can actually see how that would seem like the One Ring, but really I suppose the biggest difference is that the purple gem plays a very small part of the story. It's much more character based and the vial containing the purple liquid is not really a part of any moral struggle. It's really a quite tame jewel compared to the orange and green ones, which I will talk about later.

Welcome Alchemist! Glad you're here.

I am an avid fan of JRR Tolkien's works in general, and I do not think that this premise is very similar at all to that of LotR, aside from the fact that several people want a very powerful object. That is so loose an idea that it is not something to worry about. However, the jewel overall actually seems vaguely like a mashup of the one ring, the silmaril, and the palantir, which is quite odd.

I think it's a cool idea. It makes me curious. Why is Nickel tracing down the vial? Is he trying to destroy it? And what sort of 'alchemist' is his companion? With a story set on earth rather than an entirely different world it is best, in my belief, to be extra careful about what your cobha is, what it looks like, and how separate it is from real things like witch craft. What are the powers of the jewel?

It seems a bit like LotR, but setting it in the 1920s is enough of a scenery shift for me that even if it was more like LotR, setting LotR in the 1920s seems highly intriguing. So I think it's fine, and am very curious to see how it turns out.

I actually have no knowledge of what the Silmaril or the Palantir are, but I will research them. Nickel is a treasure hunter, and this vial is quite the ultimate collectible, although Nickel's true motives are questionable. I'll make a follow-up post soon going into more detail. Thank you for your responses.

This belong in Story Development, rather than World Building.

While it is similar to Tolkien's works, mainly the Silmarils, I think, having it set in the 1920s would be enough to distinguish it from the vast amount of LotR imitators out there. I think that it would give it more of an Indiana Jones feel than a LotR feel.