Aw... thank you so much, Elanor. I can fill in the blanks... thankfully I can read his writing pretty good, even when it's super messy. hehe.

thankfully I can read his writing pretty good

Not bad tears... touched, awed, glad tears...

My dearly beloved brothers and sisters in Christ,

I used to say those words so flippantly…’brother and sister’, I cannot now. Our kinship in my great Beloved is so present and real to me that I honestly feel little distinction between blood and spirit kinship. The warp and woof of the knitting of our souls together in my precious Holy Spirit of God so clearly manifests before my eyes the glorious handiwork of my Father, I cannot but rejoice with Him in the love I have for my brothers and sisters, magnified and abounding beyond measure by His grace.

And I still talk Lauserese albeit with a different flavour. I am still your very own Jay, and always will be, praise God. Nothing can shake me from His immovable grasp, and it is He that holds me in my particular kind of uniqueness.

That does not mean I have not changed – far beit from me! I am…so different. Perhaps to myself and God more than would be manifest to those who knew me before. Those few of you who have met me will, indeed, see tremendous differences in me when we meet again. Those others who know me to my core, regardless of communication limitations already are aware of the absolute and utter re-ordering of my inner life. The rest of you…I am eager to share with you the grace that God has so richly bestowed on me.

Yet…communications from me are hard to come by. Even those I write to pseudo regularly are sadly often neglected. And to keep up with the steady flow of blessed missives would be indeed a stupendous task. I pine for the ease of email, but I rejoice also in my limitations. When I do write it is very sweet and precious to me, although grueling. (I cannot abide writing by pencil..pen is so much nicer, and I was never adept to hand writing anyway. No desk makes it tenfold more difficult) Yet even so I would spent my time in corresponding avidly with you all individually did I feel that was what God desired of me. But alas, I do not. I am drawn increasingly to His feet and His embrace in blessed communion in prayer, meditation and study. Any diversion from these is irksome to me unless He sets me the task – as He did with this letter. Communication with you is sweet, but communication with my Lord is sweeter by far. Yet I know the joy you all receive when you hear from me, and I feel pressed in my spirit to write to you tonight, and so I do.

Do not think, however, that in turning to you I have turned from Him. No, for in my love to you I abide in the love of His. He is always present with me… His hand in my hand in everything I do…His word in my mouth whenever I open it. I joy and rest in Him constantly, for He had beset me before and behind, within and without, with Himself. If I turn and behold myself, my sin, my failings, my weaknesses, my past, He beholds it with me and I turn to Him in it. No matter what I focus on, if I do it in Him, my thoughts and my heart are drawn to Him in it.

Oh but today is passing and I am about to read from the bible to my Cellies, before changing and sleeping. I read to them a couple dozen chapters, taking 30 – 60 minutes of our night to do so. It is a tremendous help to us here, to ward off the shouts of curses and obscenities outside our cell in the pod But do not fear, once a letter is well set in hand, it must wait until it is completed to the last scribble.

So tomorrow will see me with a new pencil in hand, and my thoughts scattered hither and yon over the world with you all. God be with you this night, and may His hand be on you to reveal to you His grace for your soul’s greatest need.

6-3-2012 Tuesday

I am eager to get back to my projects and friends in earnest. I had to do lists before I left and most of them are still alive. I have made more, during my musings here, and I hear rumours of even more lists being made for me by my very kind friends. *Glares with a twinkle in my eye* and above all these, God has also given me a to do list – several actually. And those simply shatter me, there is no human way for me to fulfill even a tenth of what He is wanting me to do. Yet He has promised me His grace for the tasks, and I am eager to prove His glory to the world. Yet I ask most earnestly for your labours in prayer, for not only me but also my work – now and later.

For I am never idle. Pray also that, when I get out, the press of busyness will not press out the most precious things to me – my walk with God. Nothing can be truly accomplished or even attempted for Him without lives wholly sacrificed to Him and devoted exclusion of all else to our Beloved. I must not let my time with the Lord be diminished too far. As it is I spend about 17 hours a day focused on Him in reading His word, or reading books about Him, or praying. My only regular detractor is sleep – and I don’t indulge in much of it. But reducing that wealth of time down to only two or three hours seems to me an unbearable prospect. As I give my king more of my time, my effectiveness in my other duties increases according to His grace. Prayer especially must be given its due portion, for so many reasons.

Pray not only for me, but also for yourselves. Be still, quiet yourselves and come to God. Do not merely ask for Him to help you – beg for Him to reveal Himself to you! I will not be easy on any of you when I come to you again. I know my God, and I cannot abide my friends not knowing Him as I do. Realise that His promises are for you, and that He will show Himself to you.

We say to people “you are in my prayers.” Is that a good place to be? What are your prayers like? Are they bathed in the palpable presence of God? Are they filled with desperate longing and devotion to Him? Are they bowed down with labourings and wrestlings? Are they fired with boldness and passionate faith? Are they an expression of deep communion with One you love above and beyond all else? Are they focused on aligning your will with His will and casting out yourself? Are they devoted to drawing closer to Him?

Too often people will ask questions as these, and they will add, “none of us are there yet, and I doubt any of us will,” or something to that effect – I. Will. Not. Because that is precisely where I am. I have tasted and I see that the Lord is good. He does hear the cries of His children. You do not have to go to jail to find Him, though…. He is there with you. He wants…He desperately desires and longs to give this to you. But He cannot give it to a heart only casually turned to Him. Seek with everything you have for Him, and if it is not enough, he will give you more to seek with. Perseverance, do. not. let. go. Hunger after Him. Study His glory in His word. It’s true! It’s real! Fight yourself until you are desperate for God . He will come. Believe.

You can know God as well as David – and even better. Every person in the bible was just that – a person…with the same spiritual potential as you. God is the same God for you as for me, or for Paul or for George Muller.

God needs you. He wants you. Right now. That is reason enough.

Oh….how can I express it all? I empathise with the human authors of the bible. I wonder how many ellipses and emotions Paul and David would have used if they were available to them. Or what Elijah would have said in the HW chat room. *Smiles*

I….*cries* I just want you all to love Him. He wants you so bad.

I can, with Hwin, truly say, “You may eat me if you’d like. I’d sooner be eaten by you than fed by anyone else.” I used to think that I could…I’m sure many of you think so too. But have you done it? Have you, in wordless pouring out of your soul, torn your soul from your body, displaced yourself and clung desperately to Christ, your all, your only love, regardless and heedless of earthly consequences?

Aslan is on the move, are you embracing and clinging to his mane? It will be a wild ride.

Each day God has a thing for me, both to learn and to do. He blesses, He teaches, He challenges always. No day is wasted. Woe is me if I neglect the gift in me! Do not let hours slip by without claiming them for Him. He wants your moments. He has so much for you, if you will only come to Him. He never fails.

I am not afraid of what man can do to me, God is my judge, and He has accepted me in mercy. The nations cannot go beyond His will. My conscience is accepted before Him, and He desires my release. It is His will for Him to be glorified in this way. Pray with me in faith for this, that we may share in His Joy.

God be with you all in truth, and may your hands be strengthened to seek after Him wholly. May He hear your prayers, and change you.

Alive and free in Him, in the power of His blood, spirit and name,

Jay / Sir Emeth Mimetes

Follow After Him.

:) *hugs Aussie*

Thank you for posting the letter, Elanor.

Thanks for posting the 'translation', Elanor. Some of the places in the original are a little hard to read.

It's funny how a simple writing forum can go from just a forum to me, to my family... You guys are a great encouragement.... I... *cries* want to go and visit Jay... if that is possible...

*smiles* Oh yes. So much more than a forum; so much like a family.

*smiles* Oh yes. So much more than a forum; so much like a family.

Oh, yes, indubitably!

I know, funny isn't it! It proves how friendly ya'll are, how quickly newbies feel at home.