Login | Register







Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 15th, 2012, 7:50 pm 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: September 8th, 2010, 10:11 am
Posts: 13933
Location: Where ever my computer happens to be.
Since Miss Elanor is gone, I shall post this for her.

Elanor wrote:
Well, I was writing a poem about a Pegasus one morning, and it came to me …Why not write a story about one? So I took up my pen and here I present it to you.

The Rescue


Remethiel glared gloomily around the bright surroundings; it was a lovely day in one sense. But right now she felt that her whole world had been torn apart by one man. Devious, corrupt, selfish, evil; she could think of all the names she could call him and it didn’t make her feel any better. She pulled a piece of Yael from its stick and ate it slowly; seeds from the Yama bush mixed with honey and berries, it seemed to help her think. She started reminiscing: she had first met Aron when she had been to the lake for a swim, he had hurried away as soon as he saw her; but from then on she went to the lake almost every day, eager to see him again. Through the months that followed she spotted him occasionally until finally they got closer and closer; he even allowed her to touch his flowing mane, and once he had let her pat his silky, white neck. But she secretly hoped he would take her for a ride one day, however he didn’t seem to have the slightest inclination of doing so; as close as they were.

So here and now, she made up her mind; she had to go into the dark castle to rescue her Pegasus. Okay, so it wasn’t her Pegasus, but they had developed such a bond that now one could not do without the other. So when Price Nub had arrived and taken her beloved Pegasus to the dark castle, well, she just had to do something about it; thus the gloominess.

She knew as she sat there that being sad and stuffing herself full of Yael was not going to help. She had to think of a plan, as her mother said so often: ‘if you don’t know where you’re going, you can’t make a start.’

Secondly, she had heard such terrifying stories of the dark castle on the hill. She had only seen it once; dark in the cloudy moonlight, sitting there just on the edge of the cliff. She shivered as she remembered.
Although she had never ridden Aron, her Pegasus, they had spent a lot of hours together talking about life in general. It was a once sided conversation, but then Aron was such a good listener. She sat down and began to form her plan.

*-*-*


It was dark. The castle had not changed at all, although it looked far scarier than she remembered. This was Prince Nub’s castle, so he was bound to keep Aron there prisoner. She just needed to discover where. She hadn’t really come dressed for the occasion, but what did a rescuer really wear? She was in light trousers, a white shirt and boots. She should probably have a sword, a shield and a banner to wave in the air, but since she had no idea where to get such items she had left those out. She could have asked her Mother, but if her Mother knew that she wanted a sword, she might just get a little worried.

The door creaked noisily and Remethiel gasped at what she saw; there was poor Aron tied securely between two metal posts, hardly able to move. His magnificent wings were covered in an ugly looking grey mesh.

“I’m here!” She waved her hand in the air and those grey-blue eyes turned and looked at her: despair. “Don’t look like that! I’ve come to rescue you.” She hissed more quietly now realising that people may be close by.

What she needed was clippers. Something to break the ropes and wire then she could free Aron. Where to get them, that was the question. Hmm, she spotted a large pair of ugly pliers lying drably next to an equally ugly man. He was snoring and loudly too. She moved cautiously towards him, holding her breath and reached out her hand towards the pliers.

*Grrrumph!* He snorted, falling further down into his seat and settling back into his snoring routine. She had the pliers; now to free Aron. She clambered onto his back and began cutting each wire individually.

“Hurry!” A voice said out of the blue. Remethiel froze and glanced around in horror; there was no one in site.

“Who’s there?” She said loudly.

“Hush, keep on cutting but hurry, they come to feed me in 4 minutes.”

“Aron!” She squealed, “Is that you?”

“Yes and the name’s Raus not Aron.”

“Where’s Aron then.” She stopped cutting, “I’m looking for Aron, not Raus.”

“I seem to recall that you named me Aron and that is not my name.”

Remethiel froze,

“You mean I’ve been talking to you all this time babbling away for hours at a time telling you all my secrets and you were pretending not to talk and you can talk and that is not fair!” She gasped for breath at the end of a long sentence, with not one breathing space.

“I enjoyed listening to you talking, and besides there was never anything important to say. I only speak when something is important and so what I’m saying is hurry, we haven’t much time.”

Remethiel glared at him and carried on clipping the wires.

“So I never said anything important then.” She muttered grumpily, knowing she was being unreasonable.

“You know I didn’t mean that,” he had a smile in his voice, “I loved every minute of our time together and if you are fast enough you shall get to ride me. That is indeed a privilege.”

“Really?” She gasped, “Well hold on a minute, I can’t get this last one cut; aah,” she muttered under her breath as she struggled with the obstinate wire.

“Hold hard!” A loud voice sounded, “Petro, the prisoner is escaping!”

There was a grunt and a roar and suddenly the snoring guard appeared; only he wasn’t snoring anymore. He was pounding along with those very large feet of his, whilst yelling “Guards, guards” in an ear-splitting outcry.

‘Ping!’ the last wire broke free; it wobbled in the air and then fell to the ground hitting the obnoxious fellow on his enormous nose. Needless to say he screamed rather vociferously. Remethiel clutched the glossy mane and seated herself in the middle of Aron’s back. She shivered with excitement; if she had not been so scared she might have laughed at the poor fellows plight.

“Hold tight!” Aron, now Raus, exclaimed as he raised his glorious, white wings and broke free from the ropes holding him. He stomped, reared and then flew into the air, crashing through the door and leaving the gaping guard holding his nose and muttering angrily.

Remethiel looked back; there was the castle hanging on the edge of the cliff, its towers reaching out towards the dark, cloudy night sky. Its long windows reflected the mood and she sighed as the world reeled under her. It was almost like a picture.

I hope you enjoyed my story as much as I did writing it.

_________________
Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 16th, 2012, 10:30 am 
Captain
Captain
User avatar

Joined: October 3rd, 2010, 2:17 pm
Posts: 8188
Location: Kansas City, MO
I remember reading this awhile ago! Very fun. :D

_________________
Website | Twitter | Instagram
My Patrons get free books and merch!
Latest Release: Aurelius (Red Rain #3.5)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 19th, 2012, 10:43 am 
Captain
Captain
User avatar

Joined: October 3rd, 2010, 2:17 pm
Posts: 8188
Location: Kansas City, MO
*goes to drag some eds in here*

_________________
Website | Twitter | Instagram
My Patrons get free books and merch!
Latest Release: Aurelius (Red Rain #3.5)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 19th, 2012, 10:55 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: May 19th, 2011, 11:30 am
Posts: 241
Quote:
The Rescue


Remethiel glared gloomily around the bright surroundings; it was a lovely day in one sense. But right now she felt that her whole world had been torn apart by one man. Devious, corrupt, selfish, evil; she could think of all the names she could call him and it didn’t make her feel any better. She pulled a piece of Yael from its stick and ate it slowly; seeds from the Yama bush mixed with honey and berries, it seemed to help her think. She started reminiscing: she had first met Aron when she had been to the lake for a swim, he had hurried away as soon as he saw her; but from then on she went to the lake almost every day, eager to see him again. Through the months that followed she spotted him occasionally until finally they got closer and closer; he even allowed her to touch his flowing mane, and once he had let her pat his silky, white neck. But she secretly hoped he would take her for a ride one day, however he didn’t seem to have the slightest inclination of doing so; as close as they were.

So here and now, she made up her mind; she had to go into the dark castle to rescue her Pegasus. Okay, so it wasn’t her Pegasus, but they had developed such a bond that now one could not do without the other. So when Price Nub had arrived and taken her beloved Pegasus to the dark castle, well, she just had to do something about it; thus the gloominess.

She knew as she sat there that being sad and stuffing herself full of Yael was not going to help. She had to think of a plan, as her mother said so often: ‘if you don’t know where you’re going, you can’t make a start.’

Secondly, she had heard such terrifying stories of the dark castle on the hill. She had only seen it once; dark in the cloudy moonlight, sitting there just on the edge of the cliff. She shivered as she remembered.
Although she had never ridden Aron, her Pegasus, they had spent a lot of hours together talking about life in general. It was a once sided conversation, but then Aron was such a good listener. She sat down and began to form her plan.

*-*-*


It was dark. The castle had not changed at all, although it looked far scarier than she remembered. This was Prince Nub’s castle, so he was bound to keep Aron there prisoner. She just needed to discover where. She hadn’t really come dressed for the occasion, but what did a rescuer really wear? She was in light trousers, a white shirt and boots. She should probably have a sword, a shield and a banner to wave in the air, but since she had no idea where to get such items she had left those out. She could have asked her Mother, but if her Mother knew that she wanted a sword, she might just get a little worried.

The door creaked noisily and Remethiel gasped at what she saw; there was poor Aron tied securely between two metal posts, hardly able to move. His magnificent wings were covered in an ugly looking grey mesh.

“I’m here!” She waved her hand in the air and those grey-blue eyes turned and looked at her: despair. “Don’t look like that! I’ve come to rescue you.” She hissed more quietly now realising that people may be close by.

What she needed was clippers. Something to break the ropes and wire then she could free Aron. Where to get them, that was the question. Hmm, she spotted a large pair of ugly pliers lying drably next to an equally ugly man. He was snoring and loudly too. She moved cautiously towards him, holding her breath and reached out her hand towards the pliers.

*Grrrumph!* He snorted, falling further down into his seat and settling back into his snoring routine. She had the pliers; now to free Aron. She clambered onto his back and began cutting each wire individually.

“Hurry!” A voice said out of the blue. Remethiel froze and glanced around in horror; there was no one in site.

“Who’s there?” She said loudly.

“Hush, keep on cutting but hurry, they come to feed me in 4 minutes.”

“Aron!” She squealed, “Is that you?”

“Yes and the name’s Raus not Aron.”

“Where’s Aron then.” She stopped cutting, “I’m looking for Aron, not Raus.”

“I seem to recall that you named me Aron and that is not my name.”

Remethiel froze,

“You mean I’ve been talking to you all this time babbling away for hours at a time telling you all my secrets and you were pretending not to talk and you can talk and that is not fair!” She gasped for breath at the end of a long sentence, with not one breathing space.

“I enjoyed listening to you talking, and besides there was never anything important to say. I only speak when something is important and so what I’m saying is hurry, we haven’t much time.”

Remethiel glared at him and carried on clipping the wires.

“So I never said anything important then.” She muttered grumpily, knowing she was being unreasonable.

“You know I didn’t mean that,” he had a smile in his voice, “I loved every minute of our time together, and if you are fast enough you shall get to ride me. That is indeed a privilege.”

“Really?” She gasped, “Well hold on a minute, I can’t get this last one cut; aah,” she muttered under her breath as she struggled with the obstinate wire.

“Hold hard!” A loud voice sounded, “Petro, the prisoner is escaping!”

There was a grunt and a roar and suddenly the snoring guard appeared; only he wasn’t snoring anymore. He was pounding along with those very large feet of his, whilst yelling “Guards, guards” in an ear-splitting outcry.

‘Ping!’ the last wire broke free; it wobbled in the air and then fell to the ground hitting the obnoxious fellow on his enormous nose. Needless to say he screamed rather vociferously. Remethiel clutched the glossy mane and seated herself in the middle of Aron’s back. She shivered with excitement; if she had not been so scared she might have laughed at the poor fellows plight.

“Hold tight!” Aron, now Raus, exclaimed as he raised his glorious, white wings and broke free from the ropes holding him. He stomped, reared and then flew into the air, crashing through the door and leaving the gaping guard holding his nose and muttering angrily.

Remethiel looked back; there was the castle hanging on the edge of the cliff, its towers reaching out towards the dark, cloudy night sky. Its long windows reflected the mood and she sighed as the world reeled under her. It was almost like a picture.


I've gone through the story several times, looking for mistakes, and I found none, except for some punctuation issues.
So I guess that it's checked out. :D

_________________
~Lady Ness~


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 19th, 2012, 11:07 am 
Captain
Captain
User avatar

Joined: October 3rd, 2010, 2:17 pm
Posts: 8188
Location: Kansas City, MO
Thank you SO MUCH, Nessie! :D

_________________
Website | Twitter | Instagram
My Patrons get free books and merch!
Latest Release: Aurelius (Red Rain #3.5)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 19th, 2012, 11:26 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: September 8th, 2010, 10:11 am
Posts: 13933
Location: Where ever my computer happens to be.
Thank you, Nessie, I shall post it, then. :D

Thank you, Philli, for encouraging the editors to come in here.

_________________
Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Rescue
PostPosted: January 19th, 2012, 11:35 am 
Foundational Member
Foundational Member
User avatar

Joined: September 8th, 2010, 10:11 am
Posts: 13933
Location: Where ever my computer happens to be.
This may now be archived. :D

_________________
Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


Top
 Offline Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 7 posts ] 


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron