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Judgement
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=3687		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Bethany Faith [ June 28th, 2011, 4:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Judgement
Here is my sister's (RedOwl's) submission for the blog and I am posting it for her...anyways, here you go:

RedOwl wrote:
Judgment

By Rachael

Is the heart of the raven as black as his back?
Do we say his mind has gone off the track?
Does his mood swing, like colors on his wings?
He plays a game of copycat, but is it his melodic ring?
Who are we to say, his soul is a dark coal?
Are his thoughts darker than the black hole?
Next time you see a raven don’t only see his feathers…
but take in his glorious flight.
Author:  Svensteel Mimetes [ June 28th, 2011, 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Anastasia Danmar wrote:
Here is my sister's (RedOwl's) submission for the blog and I am posting it for her...anyways, here you go:

RedOwl wrote:
Judgment

By Rachael

Is the heart of the raven as black as his back?
Do we say his mind has gone off the track?
Does his mood swing, like the colors on his wings?
Copycat is his game, but is it his melodic ring?
Who are we to say, his soul is a dark coal?
Are his thoughts darker than the black hole?
Next time you see a raven don’t only see his feathers…
but take in his glorious flight.


That's really good, Bethy's sister!
Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ June 29th, 2011, 9:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Bethany Faith wrote:
Here is my sister's (RedOwl's) submission for the blog and I am posting it for her...anyways, here you go:

RedOwl wrote:
Judgment

By Rachael

Is the heart of the raven as black as his back?
Do we say his mind has gone off the track?
Does his mood swing, like the colors on his wings?
Copycat is his game, but is it his melodic ring?
Who are we to say, his soul is a dark coal?
Are his thoughts darker than the black hole?
Next time you see a raven don’t only see his feathers…
but take in his glorious flight.


Very nice! :D

My only comment is that the line that starts with "Copycat is..." is a bit off-metre. It didn't flow as smoothly as the rest of the piece.
Author:  Elly [ June 29th, 2011, 10:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Philadelphia wrote:
Bethany Faith wrote:
Here is my sister's (RedOwl's) submission for the blog and I am posting it for her...anyways, here you go:

RedOwl wrote:
Judgment

By Rachael

Is the heart of the raven as black as his back?
Do we say his mind has gone off the track?
Does his mood swing, like the colors on his wings?
Copycat is his game, but is it his melodic ring?
Who are we to say, his soul is a dark coal?
Are his thoughts darker than the black hole?
Next time you see a raven don’t only see his feathers…
but take in his glorious flight.


Very nice! :D

My only comment is that the line that starts with "Copycat is..." is a bit off-metre. It didn't flow as smoothly as the rest of the piece.

I agree.

I really like the poem.
Does his mood swing, like the colors on his wings?

Here I would put 'Does his mood swing, like colors on his wings?'
Author:  Airianna Valenshia [ June 30th, 2011, 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Okay, Bethy, you can have Philli post this today.
Author:  Bethany Faith [ June 30th, 2011, 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
*looks at time* Oops...sorry! Busy day! *runs off to PM Philly*
Author:  Rachel Newhouse [ June 30th, 2011, 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Done! Sorry, I was out all day myself. :P But it's up there, nice 'n happy.
Author:  Bethany (Lady Alina) [ June 30th, 2011, 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Personally, I love it, Bethany's sister. :dieshappy: .
I agree though with the others,
Philadelphia wrote:

My only comment is that the line that starts with "Copycat is..." is a bit off-metre. It didn't flow as smoothly as the rest of the piece.


And

(what Elly said) I really like the poem.
Does his mood swing, like the colors on his wings?

Here I would put 'Does his mood swing, like colors on his wings?'

But other wise I love it and thought you did a great job :dieshappy:
(Love it! :rofl: )
Author:  Airianna Valenshia [ July 1st, 2011, 9:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Judgement
Thanks, girls!
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