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| Welcome to My World https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=1726 |
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| Author: | Reiyen [ December 28th, 2010, 9:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Welcome to My World |
Welcome to My World For me dragons are sentient, decent, fire-breathing, flying, speaking, mortal, almost human creatures. For you they may be animals, deceptive, snake-like, creeping, mute, immortal, very strange creatures. Why? The fact is that when you read about my dragons, you are in my world. In my world, I decide how things are, why they are, how they came to be, and everything else. When I read about your dragons, I am in your world. Over there you decide who is important, what makes an action right or wrong, how justice is served, whether it is served, and what kind of food is served at dinnertime. We all have our own worlds, whether we are fantasy writers or not. For some their world exists on Facebook. For others it is the realm of gor Jensihi Tyra, the Sixth World. For some the great histories are the most recent tweet. For others it is the chronicle of the first age of Middle-earth. Fantasy writers though, do not tell their story in one hundred forty character blocks of text. More often it takes a fantasy writer one hundred forty pages to tell about their world. When we write, whether we are Facebook-ers or the next Tolkien, we introduce our readers to our world. What is it then that separates gor Jensihi Tyra from Facebook? Instinctively we know that one is an official art form and the other is a product of social networking and that the two are very different. The difference is in the reflection, in the depth and resolution of the image. A whole reflection can be seen in a drop of water, but it is far more brilliantly displayed on the surface of a lake. When I welcome you to the Red World, I am not only telling you what happened last night in half of a sentence, but I am telling you everything about me. A social blurb like, “Soccer game last night! :)” does not tell you what I felt about competition as does a novel devoted to the story of Caeron as he crosses the wilderness to fight the dragon. Fantasy writers have even greater opportunity than writers of historical fiction or contemporary novels. Those writers are stuck with physics and creatures as we know them. The sun has to be a far away star that our planet orbits. It cannot be one of the last flowers of Telperion that is carried across the sky by a spirit being. Darkness has to be the absence of light; it cannot be a thing of itself. We writers of fantasy are likewise faced with a dilemma. How can we reveal everything about our inner-selves and our worldviews in only one hundred forty pages? The fact is that most authors cannot. This is because we are not making just one moral point through our novel. We are not addressing just one social issue. When we write our fantasies we take the world to task and ask it, “What are you?” We explore the depths not only of one emotion or the effects of one decision on one life, but the effects of the first rebellion on the whole world. We explore everything, from original sin to coming judgment. The literary realm of fantasy rises above social media and stands over traditional literature. Perhaps it is this reason that the ancients did not write novels about men, but wrote myths of gods. They knew that no legion of novels about ordinary men would ever satisfy the depths of human curiosity. It is against that challenge that the fantasy writer strives. The man on the street of the modern novel is of just one kind. The wizard that must fight the dark lord or the hobbit that must carry the ring into Mount Doom involve us all. We all strive against dark lords, whether it is the bully at school or the dishwasher that is busted. We all carry rings toward the volcano, whether it is the burden of temptation or the vendetta with the referee who didn't make the call when you were so obviously tripped within a few yards of the goal. Fantasy writing is different from all others in that it does not study the world by analysis, but by synthesis. We do not investigate one man who feels out of place in his culture so that we can understand that kind of situation better. We do not investigate the relationship between two Jewish boys of different denominations and how they both relate to the world around them to understand that single culture better. Fantasy writers seek to tackle the whole world at once. When fantasy writers work their craft, they do not send out a short message about how they are feeling today or the final exams coming at the end of the week. Neither do they just explore how they feel when encumbered by social expectations. They welcome others to view their whole selves, to investigate the essence of their hopes, dreams, and fears. The dark lord is both the gossip that destroyed our reputation as it is the god of this age, the real dark lord. The ring that we carry and that is our task to destroy is the hatred for the gossiper, and the willingness to partake of the true dark lord’s peace offerings. In gor Jensihi Tyra, Nastar and Aerykun are the dark lords/the unfair soccer coach. Welcome to my world. |
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| Author: | Whythawye [ December 29th, 2010, 1:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Brilliant article! I would be honored to have it on our blog. It only needs some minor editing, and it should be ready to go. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ December 29th, 2010, 1:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Are you wanting this to be posted now, Jay, or filed away under the new system? |
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| Author: | Whythawye [ December 29th, 2010, 1:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Airianna Valenshia wrote: Are you wanting this to be posted now, Jay, or filed away under the new system? I think we should post it now. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ December 29th, 2010, 1:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Sounds like a plan. I am actually going to find someone, other than myself, to edit this one. My mind is not on edits, at the moment. I will say it again Reiyen, I love this article. |
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| Author: | Arias Mimetes [ December 29th, 2010, 1:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
It looks great |
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| Author: | Aragorn [ December 29th, 2010, 3:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
This is an article that could have very easily been superficial, but it quickly proved not to be. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ December 29th, 2010, 3:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
And I love Evening! |
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| Author: | Evening L. Aspen [ December 31st, 2010, 8:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Too sweet, Kaitianna. Anyways, here I go on my edit. I added my changes in red and highlights in blue into the quoted text, with other comments following the quotes. Disclaimers: I tend to put more rather than less commas, so if a comma is questionable, better to consult a member of the SRUP (Society for the Removal of Unnecessary Punctuation). Also, I hope I don't come across as being too harsh or critical. I know I have that problem sometimes. I can assure you that harshness is far from my intention. Quote: For me dragons are sentient, decent, fire-breathing, flying, speaking, mortal, almost human creatures. For you they may be animals; deceptive, snake-like, creeping, mute, immortal, very strange creatures. Why? - I suggest a semi-colon after "animals" rather than a comma. The semi-colon divides the sentence nicely and keeps it from feeling like a run-on. Quote: The fact is that when you read about my dragons, you are in my world. In my world, I decide how things are, why they are, how they came to be, and everything else. When I read about your dragons, I am in your world. Over there you decide who is important, what makes an action right or wrong, how justice is served, whether it is served, and what kind of food is served at dinnertime. We all have our own worlds, whether we are fantasy writers or not. - "everything else" at the end of that second sentence felt like a weak ending to an otherwise powerful sentence. Maybe find a better ending...? - "what makes an action right or wrong": The theological implications of this sentence bug me a bit. The fact is that no matter what world you are writing, God's standards of morality, what is sin, etc., are the same. Killing in Narnia is as sinful as killing in this world. It's the same with every other sin. We as authors don't decide what's right or wrong. Right and wrong are absolute and don't change, even in another world. Quote: For some their world exists on Facebook. For others it is the realm of gor Jensihi Tyra, the Sixth World. For some the great histories are the most recent tweet. For others it is the chronicle of the first age of Middle-earth. - What's gor Jensihi Tyra? Google isn't turning up any results on that. Quote: Fantasy writers, though, do not tell their story in one-hundred-forty-character blocks of text. More often it takes a fantasy writer one hundred forty pages to tell about their world. When we write, whether we are Facebook-ers or the next Tolkien, we introduce our readers to our world. - It was sort of hard to read "one hundred forty character blocks" as is. I'd suggest adding hyphens between those words. What do you think? Quote: What is it then that separates gor Jensihi Tyra from Facebook? Instinctively we know that one is an official art form and the other is a product of social networking and that the two are very different. The difference is in the reflection, in the depth and resolution of the image. I like how you use questions to lead into your next point(s). It makes the article easy to follow. Quote: A whole reflection can be seen in a drop of water, but it is far more brilliantly displayed on the surface of a lake. When I welcome you to the Red World, I am not only telling you what happened last night in half of a sentence, but I am telling you everything about me. A social blurb like, “Soccer game last night! [smiley removed]” does not tell you what I felt about the competition as does a novel devoted to the story of Caeron as he crosses the wilderness to fight the dragon. I like the allegory of the reflection. And I removed that smiley because it was pushing me over the max smiley count for this post. - I think this sentence would sound a little bit better if you put the word "the" between "about" and "competition". - I'm not sure I quite understand the connection between the soccer game and the novel. It feels like it's supposed to be tied together, but as the reader I feel like I'm missing some connecting piece. I think the problem is that the word I would assume connects the two, "competition", is not clearly shown as connecting them. (I'm not sure if I made any sense there, so let me know if I need to reexplain...) Quote: Fantasy writers have even greater opportunity than writers of historical fiction or contemporary novels. Those writers are stuck with physics and creatures as we know them. The sun has to be a far away star that our planet orbits. It cannot be one of the last flowers of Telperion that is carried across the sky by a spirit being. Darkness has to be the absence of light; it cannot be a thing of itself. Looks good! Quote: We writers of fantasy are likewise faced with a dilemma. How can we reveal everything about our inner-selves and our worldviews in only one hundred forty pages? The fact is that most authors cannot. This is because we are not making just one moral point through our novel. - I think "worldviews" should be singular... - Not positive here, but I don't think you need that hyphen. As far as I know, "inner selves" is two words. - In the first sentence, you use the word "dilemma" and point back to your previous paragraph with the word "likewise". The only trouble is that there doesn't seem to be a dilemma in the previous paragraph. I'd suggest removing the word "likewise" here. Quote: We are not addressing just one social issue. When we write our fantasies we take the world to task and ask it, “What are you?” We explore the depths not only of one emotion or the effects of one decision on one life, but the effects of the first rebellion on the whole world. We explore everything, from original sin to coming judgment. Wow, I really like where the article is going, especially this paragraph. One way I think you could make it better would be to add more principles rather than so many illustrations. I noticed that you use a lot of examples (the social blurb about the soccer game, mentioning various fantasy worlds, etc.). I think you need to add some principles here. I'm having trouble explaining this so here's an example: instead contrasting "the depths not only of one emotion or the effects of one decision on one life" with the rebellion phrase, instead contrast it with something to the effect of "but the effects of many decisions on many lives." See? The rebellion isn't clearly connected to the "emotions", "decisions", and "life", but for a good contrast it needs to be connected. - I noticed that you used the phrase "just one" in the last sentence of the previous paragraph. You might want to find a synonymous phrase so it doesn't sound repetitive... - I don't think "take the world to task" is implying the correct meaning here. "Taking someone to task" by definition means reprimanding or criticizing someone severely for some fault or mistake. Should probably find a different phrase. Quote: The literary realm of fantasy rises above social media and stands over traditional literature. Perhaps it is this reason that the ancients did not write novels about men, but wrote myths of gods. They knew that no legion of novels about ordinary men would ever satisfy the depths of human curiosity. It is against that challenge that the fantasy writer strives. Wow. Cool. Awesome. Nice vocabulary; it adds to the epic-ness of this paragraph. Quote: The man on the street of the modern novel is of just one kind. The wizard that must fight the dark lord or the hobbit that must carry the ring into Mount Doom involves us all. We all strive against dark lords, whether it is the bully at school or the dishwasher that is busted. LOL We all carry rings toward the volcano, whether it is the burden of temptation or the vendetta with the referee who didn't make the call when you were so obviously tripped within a few yards of the goal. - I had to stop and laugh out loud at the dishwasher line. Quote: Fantasy writing is different from all others in that it does not study the world by analysis, but by synthesis. We do not investigate one man who feels out of place in his culture so that we can understand that kind of situation better. We do not investigate the relationship between two Jewish boys of different denominations and how they both relate to the world around them to understand that single culture better. Fantasy writers seek to tackle the whole world at once. - All other whats? Genres of fiction, maybe? I think you need to specify what you're referring to here to prevent confusion. That last sentence is very catchy, by the way. Quote: When fantasy writers work their craft, they do not send out a short message about how they are feeling today or the final exams coming at the end of the week. Neither do they just explore how they feel when encumbered by social expectations. They welcome others to view their whole selves, to investigate the essence of their hopes, dreams, and fears. The dark lord is both the gossip that destroyed our reputation as it is the god of this age, the real dark lord. The ring that we carry and that is our task to destroy is the hatred for the gossiper, and the willingness to partake of the true dark lord’s peace offerings. - "god of this age, the real dark lord" This could be interpreted wrongly since we don't really know what "lord" you are referring to. Clarification? - This sentence confused me. I think there might be a typo or a missing word or something, but I couldn't really figure out the problem through the context of the sentence... What exactly did you mean by this sentence? Quote: In gor Jensihi Tyra, Nastar and Aerykun are the dark lords/the unfair soccer coach. Welcome to my world. Ah, so gor Jensihi Tyra is your world...? - The dash looks a bit informal here. This could go either way, but I think it would help clarify the sentence if the dash was changed to some other punctuation mark (comma?) or if you added some little word in there to help link "dark lords" and "unfair soccer coach". Bravo! I really enjoyed reading this article. You gave some great illustrations, especially the reflection one and the busted dishwasher *chuckles again*. Hopefully that was the kind of edit you were looking for, and I sincerely hope that I didn't come across as critical...I ran out of smilies somewhere along the line. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ January 3rd, 2011, 7:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Thank you very much Evening, for taking up this project |
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| Author: | Reiyen [ January 5th, 2011, 8:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Alrighty, time to look back here. I am still on vacation so I don't have forever, so I will only get to address some of this. Thanks, Evening, for taking up the editing on this. 1. Semi-colon it is then. No debate or disagreement on this one. 2. a. How about, "how they came to be, and what exists at all." How does that sound? b. I was worried about that line a little myself; I knew it sounded to radical. My only counter argument would be that magic is wrong here but not over there, but I can definitely agree to remove that line, maybe switch it to pair with the previous phrase so that it reads, "Over there you decide who is important, why they are important, how justice is served..." 3. Yep, it's my world. Literally translated it means, "The sixth world." I wanted it because it is unfamiliar, a different language, and is actually my world to fit with the title, "Welcome to My World." 4. I am perfectly happy to add hyphens. That makes sense. 5. Thank you 6. a. I liked the reflection one, also. b. I wondered why it was gone. I deliberately left it as the punctuation marks. c. I had it there originally, then removed it last-minute, so I am willing to put it back in again. d. The connection isn't very obvious. The idea is that a novel about a guy competing with the elements and with a dragon tells you a lot more than a Facebook status with two words and an emoticon about sporting competition. I could re-work it as "...does not tell you what I felt about the competition as does a novel devoted to the story of Caeron competing against the elements and wild-beasts," but that loses some of its fantasy feel in my opinion. 7. Thank you again 8. a. Well I am talking about each separate author's worldview, which would mean more than one worldview... That's all for now. |
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| Author: | Reiyen [ January 9th, 2011, 2:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
8. b. Makes sense, I am one of those people who often sticks hyphens in unnecessary places, like I do with commas. c. The idea was to say just as we have an advantage we have a dilemma. I don't think just removing "likewise" will cut it because then we have a very awkward and choppy transition between paragraphs. Perhaps substitute "also," instead? 9. a. Good point. So maybe we should have it read, "the depths not only of one emotion or the effects of one decision on one life, but the effects of any one decision on many lives." I like the way that runs if you do. b. The repetition was intentional, though I can also see how it would be annoying. Perhaps we should switch it to, "a single" so that it goes, "We are not addressing just a single social issue," because to say it differently might be to imply that we aren't addressing any at all. c. Yeah, that was an idea I had hoped to develop further and was largely the output of my current disposition, so I would agree that it requires replacement. "When we write out fantasies we take our world, turn it inside out, and try to figure out what it is all about." or something fun like that... 10. Thank you 11. I love to make people laugh out loud. Mission accomplished. 12. "Fantasy writing is different from all other arts in that it does not study the world by analysis..." 13. a. "God of this Age" is a title for Satan in my bible translation, that or the "god of this world." That is what I meant by it... how would you recommend making that more obvious? b. That would be another one of my wonderful sentences that mean so much but I never developed here, thus making it a tangent. The idea was that just as Frodo is tasked with destroying the One Ring, we have to destroy our sinful habits such as hating those who are mean to us and being willing to deal with the dark lord by accepting what he offers us against God's will, which ranges from sin to demonic power (though of course, the latter is less common today). 14. Yep, gor Jensihi Tyra is my world. b. I'll agree the slash is informal, but I used to keep the pace quick and help make the dark lord and the unfair soccer coach run together better. |
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| Author: | Reiyen [ February 26th, 2011, 11:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Behold I have returned to make the edits that Evening pointed out for us: Welcome to My World For me dragons are sentient, decent, fire-breathing, flying, speaking, mortal, almost human creatures. For you they may be animals; deceptive, snake-like, creeping, mute, immortal, very strange creatures. Why? The fact is that when you read about my dragons, you are in my world. In my world, I decide how things are, why they are, how they came to be, and what even exists at all. When I read about your dragons, I am in your world. Over there you decide what kind of ruler the people serve, how justice is served, whether it is served, and what kind of food is served at dinnertime. We all have our own worlds, whether we are fantasy writers or not. For some their world exists on Facebook. For others it is the realm of gor Jensihi Tyra, the Sixth World. For some the great histories are the most recent tweet. For others it is the chronicle of the first age of Middle-earth. Fantasy writers though, do not tell their story in one-hundred-forty-character blocks of text. More often it takes a fantasy writer one hundred forty pages to tell about their world. When we write, whether we are Facebook-ers or the next Tolkien, we introduce our readers to our world. What is it then that separates gor Jensihi Tyra from Facebook? Instinctively we know that one is an official art form and the other is a product of social networking and that the two are very different. The difference is in the reflection, in the depth and resolution of the image. A whole reflection can be seen in a drop of water, but it is far more brilliantly displayed on the surface of a lake. When I welcome you to the Red World, I am not only telling you what happened last night in half of a sentence, but I am telling you everything about me. A social blurb like, “Soccer game last night! Fantasy writers have even greater opportunity than writers of historical fiction or contemporary novels. Those writers are stuck with physics and creatures as we know them. The sun has to be a far away star that our planet orbits. It cannot be one of the last flowers of Telperion that is carried across the sky by a spirit being. Darkness has to be the absence of light; it cannot be a thing of itself. We writers of fantasy are also faced with a dilemma. How can we reveal everything about our inner selves and our worldview in only one hundred forty pages? The fact is that most authors cannot. This is because we are not making just one moral point through our novel. We are not addressing only a single social issue. When we write our fantasies we explore the depths not only of one emotion or the effects of one decision on one life, but the effects of many decisions on many lives. We explore everything, from original sin to coming judgment. The literary realm of fantasy rises above social media and stands over traditional literature. Perhaps it is this reason that the ancients did not write novels about men, but wrote myths of gods. They knew that no legion of novels about ordinary men would ever satisfy the depths of human curiosity. It is against that challenge that the fantasy writer strives. The man on the street of the modern novel is of just one kind. The wizard that must fight the dark lord or the hobbit that must carry the ring into Mount Doom involve us all. We all strive against dark lords, whether it is the bully at school or the dishwasher that is busted. We all carry rings toward the volcano, whether it is the burden of temptation or the vendetta with the referee who didn't make the call when you were so obviously tripped within a few yards of the goal. Fantasy writing is different from all other kinds of fiction in that it does not study the world by analysis, but by synthesis. We do not investigate one man who feels out of place in his culture so that we can understand that kind of situation better. We do not investigate the relationship between two Jewish boys of different denominations and how they both relate to the world around them to understand that single culture better. Fantasy writers seek to tackle the whole world at once. When fantasy writers work their craft, they do not send out a short message about how they are feeling today or the final exams coming at the end of the week. Neither do they just explore how they feel when encumbered by social expectations. They welcome others to view their whole selves, to investigate the essence of their hopes, dreams, and fears. The dark lord is both the gossip that destroyed our reputation as it is the god of this age, the real dark lord. In gor Jensihi Tyra, Nastar and Aerykun are the dark lords/the unfair soccer coach. Welcome to my world. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ February 26th, 2011, 12:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Alright, Reiyen. The day is quickly approaching when this will go through the system and post on the blog. We've just got a couple weeks left of the Christmas Contest stuff! *is getting very excited! |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ April 12th, 2011, 2:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Welcome to My World |
Due to the fact that this article has been posted on the blog, it is now being archived. Thanks to all who participated, and especially to Reiyen for writing this up for us. |
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