Quote:
The Rescue
Remethiel glared gloomily around the bright surroundings; it was a lovely day in one sense. But right now she felt that her whole world had been torn apart by one man. Devious, corrupt, selfish, evil; she could think of all the names she could call him and it didn’t make her feel any better. She pulled a piece of Yael from its stick and ate it slowly; seeds from the Yama bush mixed with honey and berries, it seemed to help her think. She started reminiscing: she had first met Aron when she had been to the lake for a swim, he had hurried away as soon as he saw her; but from then on she went to the lake almost every day, eager to see him again. Through the months that followed she spotted him occasionally until finally they got closer and closer; he even allowed her to touch his flowing mane, and once he had let her pat his silky, white neck. But she secretly hoped he would take her for a ride one day, however he didn’t seem to have the slightest inclination of doing so; as close as they were.
So here and now, she made up her mind; she had to go into the dark castle to rescue her Pegasus. Okay, so it wasn’t her Pegasus, but they had developed such a bond that now one could not do without the other. So when Price Nub had arrived and taken her beloved Pegasus to the dark castle, well, she just had to do something about it; thus the gloominess.
She knew as she sat there that being sad and stuffing herself full of Yael was not going to help. She had to think of a plan, as her mother said so often: ‘if you don’t know where you’re going, you can’t make a start.’
Secondly, she had heard such terrifying stories of the dark castle on the hill. She had only seen it once; dark in the cloudy moonlight, sitting there just on the edge of the cliff. She shivered as she remembered.
Although she had never ridden Aron, her Pegasus, they had spent a lot of hours together talking about life in general. It was a once sided conversation, but then Aron was such a good listener. She sat down and began to form her plan.
*-*-*
It was dark. The castle had not changed at all, although it looked far scarier than she remembered. This was Prince Nub’s castle, so he was bound to keep Aron there prisoner. She just needed to discover where. She hadn’t really come dressed for the occasion, but what did a rescuer really wear? She was in light trousers, a white shirt and boots. She should probably have a sword, a shield and a banner to wave in the air, but since she had no idea where to get such items she had left those out. She could have asked her Mother, but if her Mother knew that she wanted a sword, she might just get a little worried.
The door creaked noisily and Remethiel gasped at what she saw; there was poor Aron tied securely between two metal posts, hardly able to move. His magnificent wings were covered in an ugly looking grey mesh.
“I’m here!” She waved her hand in the air and those grey-blue eyes turned and looked at her: despair. “Don’t look like that! I’ve come to rescue you.” She hissed more quietly now realising that people may be close by.
What she needed was clippers. Something to break the ropes and wire then she could free Aron. Where to get them, that was the question. Hmm, she spotted a large pair of ugly pliers lying drably next to an equally ugly man. He was snoring and loudly too. She moved cautiously towards him, holding her breath and reached out her hand towards the pliers.
*Grrrumph!* He snorted, falling further down into his seat and settling back into his snoring routine. She had the pliers; now to free Aron. She clambered onto his back and began cutting each wire individually.
“Hurry!” A voice said out of the blue. Remethiel froze and glanced around in horror; there was no one in site.
“Who’s there?” She said loudly.
“Hush, keep on cutting but hurry, they come to feed me in 4 minutes.”
“Aron!” She squealed, “Is that you?”
“Yes and the name’s Raus not Aron.”
“Where’s Aron then.” She stopped cutting, “I’m looking for Aron, not Raus.”
“I seem to recall that you named me Aron and that is not my name.”
Remethiel froze,
“You mean I’ve been talking to you all this time babbling away for hours at a time telling you all my secrets and you were pretending not to talk and you can talk and that is not fair!” She gasped for breath at the end of a long sentence, with not one breathing space.
“I enjoyed listening to you talking, and besides there was never anything important to say. I only speak when something is important and so what I’m saying is hurry, we haven’t much time.”
Remethiel glared at him and carried on clipping the wires.
“So I never said anything important then.” She muttered grumpily, knowing she was being unreasonable.
“You know I didn’t mean that,” he had a smile in his voice, “I loved every minute of our time together, and if you are fast enough you shall get to ride me. That is indeed a privilege.”
“Really?” She gasped, “Well hold on a minute, I can’t get this last one cut; aah,” she muttered under her breath as she struggled with the obstinate wire.
“Hold hard!” A loud voice sounded, “Petro, the prisoner is escaping!”
There was a grunt and a roar and suddenly the snoring guard appeared; only he wasn’t snoring anymore. He was pounding along with those very large feet of his, whilst yelling “Guards, guards” in an ear-splitting outcry.
‘Ping!’ the last wire broke free; it wobbled in the air and then fell to the ground hitting the obnoxious fellow on his enormous nose. Needless to say he screamed rather vociferously. Remethiel clutched the glossy mane and seated herself in the middle of Aron’s back. She shivered with excitement; if she had not been so scared she might have laughed at the poor fellows plight.
“Hold tight!” Aron, now Raus, exclaimed as he raised his glorious, white wings and broke free from the ropes holding him. He stomped, reared and then flew into the air, crashing through the door and leaving the gaping guard holding his nose and muttering angrily.
Remethiel looked back; there was the castle hanging on the edge of the cliff, its towers reaching out towards the dark, cloudy night sky. Its long windows reflected the mood and she sighed as the world reeled under her. It was almost like a picture.
I've gone through the story several times, looking for mistakes, and I found none, except for some punctuation issues.
So I guess that it's checked out.
