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"Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
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Author:  Domici [ July 16th, 2017, 6:28 am ]
Post subject:  "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
Slight change of target; this is the background for the entire Domici War series. Trying to hone the wording and concepts.

Background: The Domici War


History

For centuries the Domici "families" were spread among the stars. There was mild competition between them but cooperation when external threats arose. New members married in, new ventures were undertaken, and new profits were made. Certainly, like most organizations, there was a dark side. When someone in the family went too far the matter was resolved without external intervention.

As in all things politics reared its head. Some Domici families were making money hand over fist, others barely scraped by. Discussions between the Grandfathers grew heated at times and their emissaries seldom sought compromise. A repercussion of success.

With the decline and fall of the Saqit Empire and the internal struggles of the Spinward powers the Domici isolated themselves. They conformed to the political boundaries they influenced and drifted apart as brothers and sisters. In a final act of dissolution emissaries met to formalize the event. Those who were within the old Saqit Empire chose the color Gold; a precious metal that spoke of their greed. Those of active bent in the Spinward Powers space chose Red, the color of blood they were willing to spill. Those in the middle chose Blue, the color and space left to them. No one seemed intent on choosing the family.


1416 Imperial Calendar

For three hundred years the Domici family has remained split. Star powers arm themselves and merchants ply trade routes. The family that once served to build trade between widespread political factions is now deeply imbedded with them. Fears of war arose and instead of helping ease tensions the Domici helped agitate factions and spread the disease of discontent.

Little did they know the kings were now pawns

Some say fortune favored the bold. Others say The Creator intervened directly. Whatever the origin all admit multiple actions saved billions of lives. Control of Birach was wrested from a genocidal warlord and his Red Domici supporters. Destructive fleet actions were avoided and the genesis of the Free Trade League began.

Lest history forget the much smaller action in the Haearn system, know the truth. While the battle of Birach seemed the main event evil itself was defeated by a much smaller play of actors.



1429 Imperial Calendar

Many hoped the war had ended and wiser heads prevailed. For a season, they did. Yet for a season the poison that almost destroyed three civilizations recovered and rebuilt. Red and Gold Domici leaders have fallen. Younger, hotter heads now rule the families. Ones who have not seen desolation and despair up close. Family war is again on the agenda.

A few dreamers saw another option. What if the family came back together? What if bonds were rebuilt?

It would be a good thing since the alternative is annihilation.
Author:  Alias Ember [ July 17th, 2017, 12:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
Thanks for this post, Domici! As an enthusiastic reader of "Ought Five and One Two Three" I enjoyed getting a little more background history on the Domici Wars, and my interest is definitely piqued. Tell me more!

I feel that the 1416 Imperial Calender section needs the most work.
The first paragraph starts the section off strong, but then we come to the sentence, "Little did they know the kings were now pawns", which is interesting, but the next paragraph seems mostly unrelated, so I'm just left a little confused.
The next two paragraphs get a little bogged down in passive voice. The passive voice does add an air of mystery, but the overall feeling the reader gets is one of vagueness: the idea that something interesting happened, but we have no notion what it was that happened or who even did it. It feels like you're avoiding the most significant parts of the story. (I don't know if that is the case, but that's the vibe I get). We learn about the battle of Birach, but then learn that it was comparably insignificant to some mysterious other event that happened somewhere else. While the mystery of it may be intriguing, I think it might be even more intriguing if we know what we're really up against, what this even greater evil is, and who this smaller play of actors is. This is the good stuff. This is what I want to hear about.
Also, I feel that it might be helpful to let the reader know why we should care about the founding of the Free Trade League, what its significance is.

Overall, I love the tone: bold and historical. I'm intrigued by the story. I am, yes, most certainly interested to here more.
Author:  Domici [ July 17th, 2017, 10:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
An "an enthusiastic reader" is one of my favorite sorts! Thank you; that really started my day off well.

The two paragraphs you mention do need work. I have fewer brain cells than time-lines and need to work on that. Let me see what I can do.

Just for fun, here's the last line of the current working prologue of TDW.1429.1.

"Yeah. That's the trick. The Prime doesn't realize he needs you. His friends aren't going to let him lose everything just because he thought the war was over."
Author:  Alias Ember [ July 19th, 2017, 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
I totally relate to the fewer braincells bit. :roll: And, hey, you're writing something , which is more than I can say most of the time (and a good deal more than just something, if I may add). I like the line from the prologue. Nice and intriguing. :)
Author:  Domici [ July 19th, 2017, 9:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
Alias Ember wrote:
I totally relate to the fewer braincells bit. :roll: And, hey, you're writing something , which is more than I can say most of the time (and a good deal more than just something, if I may add). I like the line from the prologue. Nice and intriguing. :)


What holds you back from writing? Your poem on Ephesians was good. I'll confess that your comment about reading my work encouraged me.

I will pointedly note that The Domici War is as much setting as story. You up for trying some mild sci-fi? Or hard sci-fi if that's your druthers. Far as I can tell they haven't killed all the poets yet.
Author:  Alias Ember [ July 24th, 2017, 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
Domici wrote:

What holds you back from writing? Your poem on Ephesians was good. I'll confess that your comment about reading my work encouraged me.

I will pointedly note that The Domici War is as much setting as story. You up for trying some mild sci-fi? Or hard sci-fi if that's your druthers. Far as I can tell they haven't killed all the poets yet.


What holds me back from writing? Well, a variety of reasons. Mostly an utterly incomplete understanding of my stories' plots. I'll start writing and then realize I don't know how to get from where I am to where I eventually want my story to be. That and a severe case of writer's ADD. (I have so many ideas for stories that I can't, or maybe I should say don't, focus on one long enough to develop it to the point where I can actually write it to completion). That's why I enjoy writing poems, because I can actually finish them.
I'm glad my comment encouraged you. I must say I was very encouraged as well by your comment on my poem.

Am I up for some sci-fi?
Always. But perhaps, for the sake of actually getting something done, I should work some of my other stories first... But you never know... I may have an idea or two that might do quite well in The Domici Wars setting. I'll have to keep learning more about your universe!
Author:  Domici [ July 25th, 2017, 4:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
Can I be honest? The Domici War setting is because I can't stick with one story for long and I like to chat with my characters more than I want to see big bad things happen.

Everything started because I was playing one 22 year old Marine character in space. Now my stories deal with pre-teen girls growing up, an underage exotic dancer becoming a political leader, a thirteen year old business prodigy (Ian in the Biter 1414BX51M), the Marine's pregnant girlfriend, and the friend of the Marine's daughters. I'm also working the same characters in two (three in Ian's case) different time-lines.

I like to keep my characters as friends and help them grow. Can't say some of my stories have a lot of plot to start with but intertwining people's lives is something I enjoy. For example, Marti "Mom" Romero and Omari Yates are seasoned adults in the Ought Five stories. They were introduced as teens in TDW.1416.1.

Remember the guy in the picture over Dede's bunk? He's a sports team captain and a really nice guy. He's also Cadet 123's former sort of boyfriend, the subject of TDW.1429.2, and nephew to characters introduced in TDW.1416.1 and 2.

The Domici War setting exists because I can't stick to one story. :P
Author:  Alias Ember [ July 26th, 2017, 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge - "The Domici War"
Domici wrote:
Can I be honest? The Domici War setting is because I can't stick with one story for long and I like to chat with my characters more than I want to see big bad things happen.


That sounds like me. Only, when I first get an idea for a story, something big and bad is usually supposed to happen, but then I end up wanting to rather just write about my characters throwing cake and pinecones at each other instead of being involved in the big bad happenings. I'd rather imagine them pursuing their hobbies: cooking, tinkering, climbing tall objects- than fighting grand battles or defeating the villain. That very well may be interesting, too, but the former is a good deal more fun. I'll find a way to make it work one of these days.

And of course I remember Wilbur. ;)
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