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"Tell Me More" Challenge -- Fragile Lines
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=29&t=9800		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Lady Sparks [ June 23rd, 2017, 2:27 pm ]
Post subject:  "Tell Me More" Challenge -- Fragile Lines
:evil:
Author:  Gailius [ June 23rd, 2017, 3:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge -- Fragile Lines
Well written, for sure (and I think Stout is fine, but whatever you prefer.) I don't know if it would really pull me in, though. From the blurb, the plot seems a little predictable. It might not be in all actuality, but I'm not really left intrigued.

This was the part that got me most interested "A treacherous plot commences as Sara’s mysterious lineage comes to light," and I'd be curious to hear more of what that entails.

I guess my point is that, this story could (and I'm assuming does) go somewhere new and exciting, but the blurb doesn't leave me convinced that it does. Savvy? 'kay cool, hope that wasn't too much criticism... :?
Author:  Domici [ June 24th, 2017, 5:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge -- Fragile Lines
Sorry, I responded yesterday and seem to have lost it. At this point I'd say not feeling it, but not because of the story idea. I like the idea of someone reevaluating their biases.

What would make the reader identify with the weak? How would we relate to Devon? How did the weak come to rule over the strong?
Author:  Teyn Greenhood [ June 24th, 2017, 11:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge -- Fragile Lines
I like Stout better than Hardy, but whatever your prefer works. :D

I'm intrigued, but not all the way there yet. I find myself wondering why Sara grew up with the Stouts even though she was one of the Frail, why she was compelled to accompany Devon, what the mystery of her past is, ect.

I would ask the some of the same questions though that Domici did. Why should we care about Devon? What is "the right thing to do" for Devon (and is it something that we would want him to do)?

(Out of curiosity, do the Frail think themselves better than the Stout? and vice versa? You mentioned equality between the clans, so I was just wondering. :D )

Keep up the good work!
Author:  Lady Sparks [ June 26th, 2017, 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Tell Me More" Challenge -- Fragile Lines
:cool:
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