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The Promise
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=7957		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  J. Grace Pennington [ June 21st, 2013, 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:  The Promise
Okay, so I'm not really on HolyWorlds right now... I'm gone, hopefully temporarily, maybe permanently, I don't know yet. But at the moment, I'm still an HRM, and I have something I need to say. Something that's been weighing on me a very long time.

Something's been going on lately that sickens me and breaks my heart. A kind of talk I didn't use to see on HolyWorlds, or around the extended social network community. And it's a very serious thing.

I can't even count the number of times in the past few months I've seen sentiments like these expressed on the forum, Google+, Skype chat rooms, Facebook, you name it.

"Don't even try to understand my mom."

"I hate that my dad does this."

"I'm sick of my parents controlling this and that, I can't wait to move out."

"Can't let my mom know about this, she'd make me stop doing that."

Oh, my dear brothers and sisters.

Is this right?

Honor your father and mother, that it may be well with you. This is our command, from our King. Why is it acceptable to us to disregard it so?

I know there are people on this forum who are just as bothered by this kind of talk as I am, but we aren't speaking up. Why? Too busy? Afraid of offending/butting in to someone else's business, like I've been?

If we saw someone on this forum about to steal something, or kill someone, I know any one of us would risk anything to keep it from happening. Why is this any different? It's in the same list of commandments. Another one of God's laws, and if we ignore it, we are sinning. That's the harsh truth.

Maybe reading this, you think "Oh, she just doesn't understand." "She doesn't know my mom." "If she could just see how they treat me..."

Believe me, I understand. I understand more than you can imagine. There are times I hate something my parents do. There are times that things they do make me miserable. There are times that I want nothing more than to get away, and there are times that I want to plaster my hurt feelings and my heavy heart all over Twitter and Facebook and look for sympathy, where I know I would find it, because let's face it, almost every teenager and young adult knows at least a little of what this is like. Growing up, dealing with parents, being your own person and all of that is hard. I'd be the last person to say it was easy.

But I don't do that. I unburden my struggles to a few of my closest friends, seeking always to make sure that my words remain respectful, even in my angriest moments. Yes, I fail sometimes. But better to fail before a close friend who understands and forgives than in front of the whole world. Part of respecting someone is protecting their reputation. Parents are people. People with feelings, who make mistakes, and who love us. People who gave us life, even if they gave us nothing else (which I doubt is true for any of us). They don't deserve to be treated this way.

If a close friend starts to complain about parents to me, whether theirs or mine, I stop them right then. I tell them I won't listen to them speak that way, but if they want to discuss the problem with love and with an eye to actually finding a solution to the problem, I'm more than glad, delighted, to be there for them. It's not that we can't talk about it. It's that we must always, always talk about it with honor, and respect for those who gave you life, provided for you, raised you, even if you don't like them or what they do. They deserve your respect, and mine.

Sometimes we make different choices. I know I'm the freak who wears dresses, doesn't go to college, and doesn't believe in girls living and working outside the home. I neither ask or expect that others agree with me on this. God has His own path for everyone.

All I ask is that before you speak of your parents, stop, and think. Decide whether or not it is honoring to them. Because if it isn't, you'd better not say it.

This is serious. As Ephesians says, it is the first commandment with a promise. That it may be well with you. I think we all want that. And I think, my dear, beloved brothers and sisters, that we all want to please God.

Will you join me in trying to obey this command, however difficult it may be? I think the blessings of God's will be more than you can imagine.

Affectionately,
~ Grace
Author:  Suiauthon Mimetes [ June 21st, 2013, 3:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
Well said, Grace. :)
Author:  Lady Elanor [ June 21st, 2013, 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
*Smiles* Thank you, Grace. *Hugs*

I think being a teenager can be hard - you are having to take some steps to find your own feet but you have to balance it, your parents still have some control and there are house rules that no matter what age you are, if you live with parents you have to respect the rules that they have for their home.

I know some teens cope with the process more than others - I struggled quietly, and my parents didn't even notice, but some of my siblings struggled openly. Honestly, when you get past that trying age of finding your feet, finding that balance, it is so much easier - from my experience anyway. :) You have to remember your parents are just trying to do their best, and they're probably finding 'the right balance' just as hard as you. I know there are special cases and I'm not saying that's for everyone, but as Grace said it's important to honour your parents. :) I can assure you I've had times - we all have had times where we have disrespected our parents - I don't think any of us can be found faultless there, but I know how much hurt it causes our loved ones when they see that they have been pulled down by their kids publicly.

It's good to just think before we speak openly, is what I am saying/doing here honouring to God. Would He be pleased.

We all fail - none of us are perfect, but it's wonderful to know that each day as we grow in Christ He helps us to overcome. He's our guide, our strength, our comfort, our strong tower, and our wisdom. :) I struggle in different ways each day, but I love that His mercies are new every morning, and we are more than conquerors because of Christ!


Those are some good thoughts, Grace. I'm thankful to you for being willing to speak up on this. *Smiles*

And....You are not a freak. :evil: Do not call yourself one! :) *Hugs tightly*
Author:  Aragorn [ June 21st, 2013, 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
Suiauthon Mimetes wrote:
Well said, Grace. :)

*agrees*

Lady Elanor Mimetes wrote:
And....You are not a freak. :evil: Do not call yourself one! :) *Hugs tightly*

*agrees again*
Author:  Airianna Valenshia [ June 21st, 2013, 9:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
Amen, my dear! I heartily agree! This has been a rising issue on HW, and I'm so glad you had the courage to address this issue head on.
Author:  Idril Aravis Mimetes [ June 22nd, 2013, 8:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
Thank you for the rebuke and reminder, Gracie dear.

Lady Amaris Mimetes wrote:
Parents are people. People with feelings, who make mistakes, and who love us. People who gave us life, even if they gave us nothing else (which I doubt is true for any of us). They don't deserve to be treated this way.


*nods* Yes. Yes, indeed. There are times when I don't agree with my parents, and times when I don't understand the things they ask me to do, but I know that they mean it for the best. Our parents want the best for us. They may make decisions that seem to be different from ours, they may ask us to do things or even give up things, and our initial reaction might be to allow anger and rebelliousness to control our hearts, but we should fight against it.

Parenting is hard work. I'm not a parent ( :roll: ), but my line of work deals with parents and families and I see the struggles they face as they raise kids, provide for their families, make the biggest decisions in life, etc. They do this because they love their kids--us--you.

I've found out, from my own experience, that it's wonderful to make your parents your friends. Takes away a lot of the tension and misunderstanding on days when things are just such a hullabaloo in life. We still don't get along in ALL things, but we've learned to respect each other's decisions and where there is respect, there are less hurt feelings and less misunderstandings.

Love. Honor. Respect. I think this is what we need to demonstrate to our parents, even on the days when misunderstandings arise, or rather I should say especially. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it, because God will give you the strength to.
Author:  BushMaid [ June 23rd, 2013, 6:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
Thank you for being bold enough to share those truths, Gracie. Well said and amen.

Honestly, if you think about it, speaking against a parent is no different than speaking against another person. I don't think any of us would openly complain for the world to see about a person we know online, yet we can find it easy to do this about one's parents. Slandering anyone simply isn't God's will, parents least of all.

Idril Aravis Mimetes wrote:
I've found out, from my own experience, that it's wonderful to make your parents your friends. Takes away a lot of the tension and misunderstanding on days when things are just such a hullabaloo in life. We still don't get along in ALL things, but we've learned to respect each other's decisions and where there is respect, there are less hurt feelings and less misunderstandings.

Having your parents as your friends is wonderful; but it doesn't come without work. Any good relationship comes with hard work, and the harder you work at it, the sweeter it becomes.
Author:  J. Grace Pennington [ June 25th, 2013, 9:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Promise
I've so enjoyed reading all of y'all's thoughts! :) Thank you for sharing.
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