Okay i think it would be cool to be able to post cool jokes about well funny stuff!
Okay maybe not such a good idea... But here is a joke for you:
An Atheist is walking through the woods and says:
"Wow, this all could have been brought about by chance!"
Then out of the blue A bear starts chasing him!
"God!" He screams. "God, please save me!!!"
And God says, "Why should I save you? Your always telling people that I don't exist."
"Well... Could you at least make the bear a christian?"
The bear immediately knelt down, folded his hands , closed his eyes and said:
"God please Bless this food I am about to receive."


Do you like it? I thought it was PRETTY funny! Hope no one is offended or something... Tell me if you like it!

How about this:
"I believe in the Big Bang Theory!" declared a Christian.
His atheist friend clapped.
"God said it, and BANG! it happened," answered the friend.
His atheist friend looked blank.

How about this:
"I believe in the Big Bang Theory!" declared a Christian.
His atheist friend clapped.
"God said it, and BANG! it happened," answered the friend.
His atheist friend looked blank.

How about this:
"I believe in the Big Bang Theory!" declared a Christian.
His atheist friend clapped.
"God said it, and BANG! it happened," answered the friend.
His atheist friend looked blank.

How about this:
"I believe in the Big Bang Theory!" declared a Christian.
His atheist friend clapped.
"God said it, and BANG! it happened," answered the friend.
His atheist friend looked blank.

This is one of my favorite christian jokes.

The Christian Horse:

There once was a man named Bob. He decided one day that he wanted a horse. So, he went to his friend's ranch. He walked around and found a very friendly horse. So, he asked his friend, Tom, if he could buy the horse. Tom said,"Sure, but there is a few things you should know about this horse. He is a Christian horse. You say praise the Lord to make him go, and amen to make him stop." Bob thought it was simple enough, so he bought the horse.

A few months later, Bob was riding the horse on a trail. He was enjoying the scenery so much, that he nodded off. When he woke up, they were coming very close to a cliff! Bob cried,"Oh no! What was the word! Umm... amen!!!!" And the horse stopped right at the edge. Relieved, Bob said, "Oh, praise the Lord."

I hope you enjoyed that. I really like it.

I've told this one so many times! I told it a little differently but I knew which one it was just by the title. I think this one is pretty funny....though a little sad. Great one Miss Emmalina! *Laughs*

This is a joke that I heard from an old Irish relative.

Once an American was over in Ireland and he was trying to explain to his Irish relative just how big America was so he said "It takes me a whole day just to drive one side of my farm."

The Irishman replied with sympathy "I had a truck like that once."

The Christian Horse:

There once was a man named Bob. He decided one day that he wanted a horse. So, he went to his friend's ranch. He walked around and found a very friendly horse. So, he asked his friend, Tom, if he could buy the horse. Tom said,"Sure, but there is a few things you should know about this horse. He is a Christian horse. You say praise the Lord to make him go, and amen to make him stop." Bob thought it was simple enough, so he bought the horse.

A few months later, Bob was riding the horse on a trail. He was enjoying the scenery so much, that he nodded off. When he woke up, they were coming very close to a cliff! Bob cried,"Oh no! What was the word! Umm... amen!!!!" And the horse stopped right at the edge. Relieved, Bob said, "Oh, praise the Lord."

This is a joke that I heard from an old Irish relative.

Once an American was over in Ireland and he was trying to explain to his Irish relative just how big America was so he said "It takes me a whole day just to drive one side of my farm."

The Irishman replied with sympathy "I had a truck like that once."

Another oldie!

A bunch of scientists finally figuree out how to create life from scratch, using nothing but dust. So one goes as an ambassador to God, and says:

"Look, God, we appreciate all you've done for us so far, and admire your effort...but I regret to inform you that you're no longer needed. We can take care of ourselves now. We can do anything, even create life from dust."

"Is that so?" replies God. "Show me."

So, the scientist stoops down and grabs a handful of dust. "Be right back." He turns to walk back to the lab, when God interrupts:

"Hold it! -- get your own dust."

This is a joke that I heard from an old Irish relative.

Once an American was over in Ireland and he was trying to explain to his Irish relative just how big America was so he said "It takes me a whole day just to drive one side of my farm."

The Irishman replied with sympathy "I had a truck like that once."

How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
*blank stare* "Light bulb?"


How many United Church members does it take to change a light bulb?
Eleven. One to change it, and ten more to organize the covered dish supper that will follow the changing of the bulb service.

This reminds me of the joke a friend of mine posted on facebook a couple days ago:

A first grade class was having show and tell and the teacher told them to bring something pertaining to their religion. So the Catholic boy brought his crucifix, the Jewish boy brought his yamuka, and the Baptist boy brought his crock pot.

How about this:
"I believe in the Big Bang Theory!" declared a Christian.
His atheist friend clapped.
"God said it, and BANG! it happened," answered the friend.
His atheist friend looked blank.

How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. The lights will go on and off at predestined times.

A bunch of scientists finally figure out how to create life from scratch, using nothing but dust. So one goes as an ambassador to God, and says:

"Look, God, we appreciate all you've done for us so far, and admire your effort...but I regret to inform you that you're no longer needed. We can take care of ourselves now. We can do anything, even create life from dust."

"Is that so?" replies God. "Show me."

So, the scientist stoops down and grabs a handful of dust. "Be right back." He turns to walk back to the lab, when God interrupts:

"Hold it! -- get your own dust."

We were once a part of a Baptist church who had lunch or dinner at church almost every week!

A bunch of scientists finally figure out how to create life from scratch, using nothing but dust. So one goes as an ambassador to God, and says:

"Look, God, we appreciate all you've done for us so far, and admire your effort...but I regret to inform you that you're no longer needed. We can take care of ourselves now. We can do anything, even create life from dust."

"Is that so?" replies God. "Show me."

So, the scientist stoops down and grabs a handful of dust. "Be right back." He turns to walk back to the lab, when God interrupts:

"Hold it! -- get your own dust."

We were once a part of a Baptist church who had lunch or dinner at church almost every week!

I'm a not totally traditional Southern Baptist (well, I have always attended Southern Baptist churches. I am weird about denominations, though)and my church has a fellowship meal every week, which is why I never get home before 3:30 or 4 p.m. on Sundays. Food and fellowship play an important role, I think, in bringing brothers and sisters in Christ together and being willing to lay down their lives for one another.

Baptists are always the ones who get made fun of for their food passions.