Hey guys,

I wanted to let you all know that the Lord has chosen to take the life of a little boy who was very close to my heart. All the more close because of the loss of my own little brother. You see, this little guy is the son, and only child, of my friends Nina and Will. His name is Lucas, and his very young parents lived with me day in and day out for the four months I was staying at the Ronald McDonald house with my siblings.

Lucas was very much like my little brother Samuel. The two boys, very similar in age, shared the same NICU hall for those five long hospital months. Their complications were similar, and yet very different. They both had the same equipment, and our two families underwent the same training in order to bring our two miracles home.

I just wanted to let you guys know that I am going to be taking some time away from HW. How long, I’m not sure. I will not- can not be the typical cheerful person you all are accustomed to, and I don’t think it is fair to subject you all to my present mood.

My heart is bleeding, and I can’t fix it. Memories flood my mind and I feel physically weak, body and soul. This tears open the grief of my recent loss, but it also is its own wound with its own pain. My father is also out of state at the moment, and that only makes this harder. Tomorrow I will go to the viewing, and I will pray that my throat doesn’t close up when I stand up to speak. I pray that I can make it through the night and be strong for Nina and Will. But the reality is I don’t want to be. I don’t want to fight back the sobs and tears that tomorrow will bring.

I hope I will return to you guys soon, but I make no promises. I will reply to all your pms and e-mails that I haven’t gotten to yet, when I get back.

Love you all,

Airi

I'm sorry, Kaitlyn. I'll be praying for you and the others involved.

Oh, Airi... I'm so sorry. I too will be praying for you, and for Nina and Will.

*hugs Airi* I'll be praying for you and your friends.

Oh my word Val I am so sorry.
I'm praying for everyone involved.
I am reminded of the verse in my signature at these times.

I'll be praying for you, Airi. And if you need somebody to talk to, you can chat me whenever you can catch me. <smile>

Thanks, all.

I found out an hour ago. Thank God Will was home with Nina. His job- never mind, it is a complicated situation and the fact that Will was home when we lost Lucas was a sheer act of God's good grace.

Thanks, Abby. Will and Nina are going to need it. It is always hardest on the survivers, those left behind. And they don't have a little Elianna to scoop up and try to draw some form of comfort from. Lucas was their only child. And my amazing friends poured their lives into Lucas, just like we did Samuel. In fact, their first and second anniversary was spent in the Hospital with Lucas. He's been their life, and now he is gone.

Sometimes the Lord moves and works in mysterious ways that we don't understand. But anything and everything is always for his greater glory, and it is always for the furtherance of his kingdom.

When these things are in the forms of loved ones that are dear to us passing away, it can make us very grieved, and sometimes leave permanent damage. But the truth is, through the hard times, the Lord is always with you and he may work in ways that you have never seen before and possibly don't understand why he chose the circumstances, but there is a reason.

When we lived in Brazil there was a couple who were very close friends of my mother's, and they too lost their first little baby. In the time of grief however, Cimara, the little boy's mother, came very close to the Lord and experienced his love and care in ways that she hadn't before. It truly turned a time of tragedy into a wonderful time of blessing. I believe the Lord will turn the time that Nina and Will are going through, as well as yourself, into a wonderful time of blessing.

Today our Youth Group lesson was about comforting one another, through the comfort we receive from our heavenly father. It is important that we be there for each-other, and it is important that you be an encouragement to Nina and Will, and fellow HWers, it is important that we encourage Airi in any way we can.

Remember, the creator and supreme master of the entire universe, of things seen and things un-seen, the Lord of everything we know and don't know; He is on your side. The devil will take this event and try and make you feel that God has forsaken you and abandoned you, but God will NEVER leave his sheep. In 1 John 1:9, I believe, it says that 'no-one will snatch them out of my(Jesus) hand'. Remember, Jesus Loves you.

I grieve with you, but since I never knew this little boy his loss won't touch me nearly as it did you. But I do care.

*hugs* I love you Airi! I hope the Lord moves in your heart today and in days to come.

With Love,
Little E

I don't have a clue what to say... but I am praying for you and for Lucas' family. *huggles*

*hugs Airilyn*

Here are some Bible verses:

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief. -- Psalm 31:9

My flesh and my strength may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. -- Psalm 73:26

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word. -- Psalm 119:28

God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in time of trouble. -- Psalm 46:1

And everyone knows the verse:

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. -- Philippians 4:13

But I didn’t realize until tonight that the very next verse says:

Yet it was good of you to share my troubles. -- Philippians 4:14

We are here to share your troubles.

Airi, I imagine your keyboard is soaked with tears. I feel even worse for you than when I read your blog...I wish I could give you a real hug, and cry with you for a while.
If you should be a strong support for this family, God will give you the strength. I will pray; I shall. I promise.
I will miss you, of course, but how can you be expected to go on as usual? I won't be selfish in insisting that you stay. Right now, we are not just distant internet acquaintances---we are sisters in Christ.
See you later, big sister.
Love, Aemi <><

Airianna,

My heart goes out to you. I tear up at your loss recalling my own loss of Grandma Evie earlier this year. It's difficult to grasp the sudden loss of someone whom you've expected to be there.

Take heart, dear friend. That God knows the each breath the sparrows, the hairs on our head, and the stars in the sky. He carries us when we fall, and comforts us when we feel we cannot go on. Lucas served the Lord's will in His life and God called Him home for rest. Through these struggles you will grow in faith and be able to share his testimony.

May God be with you and your family, and with Lucas' family and friends.

I shall keep you in my prayers. Please rest your mind, body, and soul, during your netcation.

You are loved.

"If the Lord brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." ~Author Unknown

~Calen

I think everyone that's posted has said anything I could have said and more. I'll be praying.

2Co 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
2Co 1:4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
2Co 1:5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

I will be praying for you Dearest Airi; I will also pray for Will and Nina. I have no idea what you must be going through at the moment, it must be awful but Jesus said He would not leave us comfortless Joh 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Although times must seem at the darkest at the moment He will comfort you because He promises to. I love you loads and will be praying for you. Love in Christ, your sister,

Stephanie xx

Airianna,

Please know that we are here for you. As brothers and sisters in Christ, we are battling in our prayers for comfort for you, Nina, and Will. I was recently struck by a very large loss too, so I feel some of the same emptiness and jagged splintering tearing pain and hollow ache. Believe me, you are deeply cared for by all of us here.

"I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart." ... "But for You, O LORD, do I wait; it is You, O LORD my God, who will answer." {Psalm 38: 8, 15}

"For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken." {Psalm 62:1-2}

"And I heard a loud voice from the Throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'" {Revelation 21:3-4}

God be with you.
~ Dawn

Airianna, I shall be praying for you, and for Nina and Will.

Eruheran

For all of those who have asked, the viewing is from 5-8, and I'll probably be with Nina and Will from 4-9, so please keep us all in your prayers this evening. The funeral is tomorrow morning. I don't remember what time. I'll jog my memory this evening.

I will be praying. Remember that God brought your two families, who shared a very similar miracle and loss, together for a reason. One of those reasons might be to give you the ability to understand better than anyone else can. Because you remember the pain of losing Samuel, you can comfort Nina and Will in a more effective way than many, who only have a faint idea of what you're going through, can. God bless you.

Lots of love.

Ditto.

Just prayed. *hugs*

Well, I’m back. At least, my plan is to ease back in. Hopefully I can get caught back up before I leave next weekend.

I wanted to thank all of you for your support and prayers for me while I was away, and for including Nina and Will in your prayers. This couple is very special to me, and it’s been a rough few days.

Jonathan: Thanks for all the prayers you lifted up for me, I appreciate it. The scriptures you typed out for me were good reminders of God’s strength and comfort, which as you know, are things we need during trials. Also, thanks for being patient, since I haven’t gotten a reply to your e-mail sent out yet.

Princessoftheking: Thank you so much for your prayers, love, and offers of help, Abby. Your attitude of service was a tremendous blessing.

Leandra and Katty: *hugs back * Thanks, girls. For everything.

Melody K: thanks for being willing to lend an ear, Jenni. You are a wonderful encourager.

Elanhil: Ah, dear Little E, as I told you, Andrew, and Brendan, emotion is hard to convey over the web, but you guys were a tremendous God send. Thank you for using scripture to encourage me, and for popping in to check on me. You shared truths from your heart, and I appreciate all the time and energy you put into your post. Thanks for being my wonderful virtual brother.

Amanda: Words are hard, kiddo, so I understand the lack there of, but hugs speak an endless flow of words. *hugs back *

Ravenofthewood: *hugs little sister * Thanks for checking in on me, Zoe, sorry I couldn’t have stuck around longer.

Inesdar: Brendan, you’ve been a big blessing in so many ways over my HW sojourn. You reached out to me when my brother died, being willing to talk with me and let me ramble. You prayed faithfully for me, a stranger, during that time, and we became fast friends after. Your constant reminders that you are still praying for me and my family have been a Godsend. Thanks for making me talk on Thursday, and helping break through the shell I struggled not to form around myself. And thanks for devoting your evening to lifting all of us up in prayer.

Aemi: Your message to me was so sweet, Aemi, thank you. While it isn’t the same as a real hug, a virtual one comes pretty close. *hugs Aemi * I’m grateful the Lord allowed me to be with Will and Nina for as long as I was, and that I got to run my hands through Lucas’ beautiful red curls one more time. Thank you for lifting us up in prayer, and for sharing the bonds of sister’s in Christ.

Calen: Loss is a strange creature, isn’t it? In the book I am writing about Samuel’s life (and Lucas’ too, to some extent) I use these words to describe loss:

I think that says a lot about what people feel when they lose someone they love.

Lucas did serve the Lord with his life, constantly ministering to the people around him. We thank God for every day given to our little Lucas, who died 6 months and 6 days after his best buddy, Samuel.

And Calen, thanks for mothering me and reminding me to rest, eat, and all those other things. I tend to remind other of that, and forget it when it comes to myself. It was a good reminder.


6strings: It was good to hear from you again; thanks for letting me know you were praying.

Elanor: Thanks so much, Elanor, for your encouragement and support. And thank you for remembering Will and Nina. One of the hardest things for me was hearing Will stand up and speak at Lucas’ Celebration of life. I stayed strong until that point, but hearing Will’s (my life of the party, class clown, 6 foot 6 friend) voice break as he tried to get through what was laid on his heart, undid me. The pain my young friends (Nina’s 22, Will is 25) is very real, and very deep. And I hate that I can’t take it away.

Evenstar: You and I are very new friends, Evenstar, but your words of comfort as my sister in Christ encouraged and comforted me in many ways. It was a good reminder that the bonds of Christ are so strong that they cause others to feel our pain and weep with us. Even when they don’t know the people involved. Thank you, for blessing me and praying for us.

Eruheran: Andrew, thanks for being such an encourager on Thursday, and also Friday. The prayers you literally sent my way brought peace and comfort, bridging the gap the internet has. Thanks for taking time out of your busy school schedule to spend a little time with me (at least I hope you were taking time out of school ). Both my brothers were great, I thought.

Philadelphia: Thanks for holding down the fort while I was away, Philli, and for sending love and prayers my way. God did bring our two families together for a reason, and I am so grateful he did. I am grateful for the ability to minister to Will and Nina in a way that others who love them could not. The Lord does everything for a purpose, doesn’t He?

Bethy and Arias: *hugs you both * Thanks, girls. You all are so special.


I am very grateful for the love of my online family, of which you are all a part. While I was sad to leave, I knew I had to, and I am grateful I did. However, I felt everyone’s love and prayers, even while I was gone. Thanks again, guys. I’m so glad I stumbled across HW what seems like an eternity ago.

With Much Love,
Airi

*runs up and hugs Airi*

I'm so glad you're back, at least for a little while.

I'm just happy that I could help out; I'll keep praying for you and Lucas' parents.

Thanks Abby *hugs tightly *. We could all use those prayers.

I'm glad you're back.

I will keep you in my prayers Airi! I missed you lots and thought about you lots. xxx

*feels very loved *

I thought of you all lots too. I was also fretting about the new drapes and hoping they would be unmarred when I got back...

*hugs Airi* Welcome back!

*points to unmarred drapes*

((hug)) I'm glad you decide to come back, Airi! I prayed God would throw the cozy blanket of His and our love over your shoulders. It looks like He did. I love you even more after praying for you (Cool how that works). Love to my big sister in Christ!

I feel... very flattered, Aemi. And people don't often catch me off guard. That was a very sweet and poetical thing to say. I have never had someone tell me they loved me more after praying for me, but that really impacted me, strangely. Thank you.

Oh... *runs and hugs Airia hard* I love you, sis. I'm so sorry, and I'm praying for you right now, dear. I don't know how to say what I am feeling right now, but I think you'll understand. *hugs again*

I do, Lizzie. *hugs little sister tight *