In the spirit of Liagiba's thread "You know you're a crazy fantasy writer when...", I have started this thread. I noticed that I had a lot of funny "symptoms of Tolkien fandom" and I thought that some might get a laugh out of it. Here we go:

You know you're a Tolkien fan...
• when you walk about the house muttering Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul!
• when you apply Ardan names to all of the areas of your city park (eg: gazebo = Imladris/Rivendell, big field = Pellenor fields, forest = Fangorn, etc.)
• when you write emails to your friends in Quenya or Sindarin (and they reply likewise) OK, I'm not even close to being that fluent... I'm just starting to learn the language.
• when you hum and sing the Elvish songs from the LotR movies, even if you don't understand the words.
• when you rewrite the LotR trilogy in the perspective of a person your age who is flung into the story. (This is very fun.)
• when you add three dots above your as in a triangular formation.

Please add to the list.
Namárië,
~ Elsa

This is awesome!

You know you're a Tolkien fan when...

1. You translate your name into Quenya and Sindarin, as well as making up some new names for yourself.

2. You don't think that the author of The Atlas of Middle Earth needs to get a life. They already have a great one.

3. You think writing an eighteen-page research paper on Tolkien is exhilarating and wonderful beyond words (it is!)

LOL!


You know you're a Tolkien fan when...

- you learn elvish, and speak to your siblings in it whenever possible

- you have an Arwen cloak and Evenstar

- You and your friends have elf ears and apply them to yours.

- You have printed out and shaded Tolkien's maps and they are now hanging up in your bedroom.

- You drool over replicas of Anduril and Hadhafang.

- When you go to college you want to get a degree in elvish. (sadly, I don't think they have one.)

- You were mad because Peter Jackson got rid of Tom Bombadil

- You dream about the Mines of Moria

- Your hairstyle is meant to resemble that of the elves

- You act out scenes from the movie with your siblings

- You and your family all have inside Lord of the Rings jokes.

- You frequently use the Lotr movie/book lines to answer things other people say to you.

- You have composed your own tunes to the songs in the book.

- You have attempted to decorate your room like Caras Galadhon

- Your ideas for decorating said room were so wild you mom said "ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

- You have a Lord of the Rings Desktop

- You go to bed at night listening to Lord of the Rings Sountracks

- You frequently have lengthydebates with people over the books themes, it's influence on society etc...

- You read the books at LEAST once a year.

- You have an Encyclopedia of Tolkien

- You taped and rewatch a documentary on Tolkien's life

- You have read the Silmarillion, or some other work of Tolkien's (like Farmer Giles of Ham)

- You have tried to make cram and lembas

- You have named all your stuffed animals after Tolkien's characters.

- You have the Lotr Trivia Game and/or Lotr Monopoly (and you paid way too much money for them.)

- When your siblings are little you call them "hobbits."

- You have taken a bottle of ginger-ale and labelled it as from the Green Dragon


Yes, I know...I have done every single one of these and I am obsessed.

There's an Encyclopedia of Tolkien?!?!

Ha ha, I LOVED yours, Mindy! You had me in stitches.

You know you're a Tolkien fan...

~ when the most horrible insults you can think of are "you ORC!" and "Slave of Sauron".
~ when you plan on playing the theme for the Fellowship at your wedding.
~ when you study Sindarin and Quenya and hope to get credit for your Foreign Language requirements for high school.
~ when you recieve a replica of the Ring for your birthday and freak out at night because you can just imagine Gollum peeking his head over the side of your bed...
~ when you name all of your model horses after Lotr horses (Shadowfax, Lightfoot, Snowmane, Hasufel, Arod, etc.)
~ when you learn the lyrics to all of the Elvish songs in the LotR soundtrack.
~ when you know exactly who's saying what at any point during the songs in the soundtrack.
~ when you can quote entire scenes from the movie and books.
~ when you plan on growing a mallorn tree in your room
~ when you truly believe that you can direct and tame a horse by speaking to it in Elvish.
~ when you have an obsession with archery.
~ and when your most treasured compliment was when you dad joked about your being "part elvish" because you hit so many bull's-eyes. (Oh yeah!)
~ when you call your mother's three rings Narya, Nenya and Vilya.

More coming later.

These are great!

~When, while looking at Christmas lights, you are VERY excited to find streets named Hobbit, Elven King, and Celebrant (Happened to me a few days ago!)

~When you daydream about being able to hit the bulls-eye every time even though you are a terrible archer (I'm so jealous, Alaethea! )

You know you're a Tolkien fan...
~ when every time you see a flock of crows or ravens, you hide and yell Crebain!
~ when you are considering painting an orc-head on your archery target to make things more realistic...
~ when you can't resist buying a certain plant because it looks just like athelas!
~ when you don't mind your bunk-bed because it makes you think of the tower things in Lorien (the name escapes me at the moment...)
~ when you refer to your siblings by their Elven name equivalents.
~ when every book report that you write is on one of Tolkien's books.
~ when you consider having surgery to make your ears pointed...
~ when you have given up trying to describe the periodical style of trinkets that you like, so you just say "I'd like anything that looks like it came from Middle-Earth."
~ when, on forums and the like, you put your location as "Middle-Earth" or an area within Arda.
~ when you pretend that your favorite jewelry item is made of mithril, even though it is really just made of silver.
~•†•~



Really? WHERE?! I've got to see it. (PM me.)



Come on over and we can practice together.

...when you debate with yourself about the exact order of the circumstances surrounding of fall of Numenor, including whether or not Sauron believed that Morgoth could actually hear the men worshiping him, or if he was just having some fun on his way to revenge.

For the next one, I've got to tell a story.

My family was hiking along the cliffs of a beach on the Oregon coast, and we found this really steep, stair-like, dirt trail, which cut the walking time to get down the cliff to the beach. So, we walked around for a while, and came back to the dirt trail. Then my brothers climbs up on a log, gets down on his hands a knees, and says "I found it, I did. The secret stair..." in an incredibly Gollum-like voice.

He's simply bursting with LoTR quotes, most of which are incredibly well timed.

That is hilarious! It sounds just like my family (the quoting). Don't ever ask for potatoes at our house.


You know you're a Tolkien fan...

-When (in the spirit of Alaethea's) the greatest compliment you can imagine is to be compared to Tolkien
-Bonus: If you're a writer, the greatest compliment you can imagine is to have your writing compared to Tolkien (in a good way)
-You go gaga at the sword kiosk in the mall because they have a replica of Gandalf's sword (a friend of mine actually got to HOLD IT!!!)
-You google "Tolkien Tests"
-Bonus: You make online Tolkien Tests

Ha ha! That sounds like something I did once. I randomly said "my precious" in such a fantastic Gollum imitation (if I do say so myself) that I scared myself. It was very amusing.



Ah, boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... shall I go on?

You know you're a Tolkien fan...
~ when your username sounds an awful lot like Elessar... *points at previous poster*
~ when you style your sister's hair in an Elvish style.
~ when you pretend you are being chased by Orcs in order to run faster during races.
~ when you love recieving Barnes & Noble gift cards because then you can buy tons of Tolkien's books! Yay!
~ when you play only LotR soundtrack songs at piano and violin recitals.

-When you buy a ring and continue to call it Nenya because it looks like Galadriel's ring (oh yeah!)

-When your headphones/earbuds break, and so you mentally replay the soundtrack for the LotR movie (okay, I don't replay every song, mostly just the hobbit themes and the songs with lyrics)

-When your wardrobe looks like most of it could have come right out of the Red Book of Westmarch

-When you prefer to refer to the LotR as The Red Book of Westmarch (because it really does sound more Tolkienesque)

-When you give your bedroom an elvish name

-When you post on this topic

-When you buy prosthetic pointed ears (because the surgery is more expensive and dangerous)

-When you consider biographies of Tolkien to be recreational reading (although it's even better when it's schoolwork because then your parents want you to read it, too)

-When you are inspired to write your own elvish language, and some of it sounds suspiciously like Quenya and Sindarin

-When you have an account on Arwen-Undomiel (http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/)

-When, even though the sewing machine hates you and the feeling is mutual, you make a cloak out of brownish-greenish material that just screams The Fellowship! at you

-When you buy up Simplicity costume patterns and fabric because, someday, you will make all those costumes that look just like something from the LotR movies

-When you consider buying colored contacts to make your eyes look elvish

-When your favorite memories as a child are of your father (a serious LotR fan) telling you tales from The Silmarillion and reading you chapters from The Hobbit as bedtime stories

Excalibur in the mall. I held Sting, Glamdring, Narsil, Aragorn's first sword, and a few other assorted swords. They are heavy.

You know you're a Tolkien fan...
~ when you have read the trilogy at least five times in the past two years and you still love them.
~ when you call one of the trees in your backyard "the white tree"
~ when you make sculptures of Minas Tirith and Mount Doom out of your mashed potatoes. (I have done this. It is very entertaining. Mashed potatoes are a great sculpting material.)
~ when you have LotR marathons on a regular basis. (bonus if you watch the extended editions of the movies.)
~ when you call eavesdropping "clipping the grass".

I love this thread!! lol I'm surprised I haven't done a couple of the things posted here.

You know you're a Tolkien fan....

--when you consider memorizing some of the sayings/chants/poems/whatever-you-want-to-call-them fun

--when you randomly quote LOTR... frequently.

--when you can't resist quoting Gollum and Samwise when someone mentions potatoes

--when you have contests with your friends before church to see who can sound most like Gollum... simply because you can


and those are all very fun, too :P

You know you're a Tolkien fan when...

You post on this thread.

LOL! You know you're a Tolkien fan when...


- You memorize all of the songs in elvish even if they were originally in English.

- You have parted from someone saying, "May the grace of the Valar protect you."

-you discover how to say "may the Valar keep you off the grass" in Sindarin.

Hm...

-When you know the difference between Quenya and Sindarin. (Or even know what they are, for that matter!)

hahahaha, LOL These are sooooo funny!!!!! And True!! LOL hahahahahah.

My friend has a Narsil replica, I only saw it. I did not get to hold it . So you guys have sword kiosks at the mall?! I only saw one of those at medieval times (I had my birthday there; it's awesome!!! ) I've been watching the extended edition of the Two Towers with my dad.

P.P.S Potatoes: boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!

You know you're a Tolkien fan when...

1. You get even more excited by one of Tolkien's watercolor paintings than by the movie art (although I admit, it's a pretty close call)
2. You dream of meeting J.R.R. Tolkien himself, although you're willing to settle for Christopher Tolkien instead
3. You know what the initials J.R.R. stand for
4. You know the heritage of his last name
5. You know where he was born
6. You know what his brother's name was
7. You know the history of his love-life (okay, this might be more for teenage girls)
8. You know what is written on his and his wife's tombstones that correspond
9. You sigh over the answer to #8 (again, more for girls. I don't know too many guys who sigh over anything)
10. If you know all or most of the above, you've obviously read at least one biography about him
11. While watching the movies, you pick out the changes that you are sure he would hate (like cutting out Tom Bombadil, the best character in the FotR)
12. You can't understand how someone might not know what the abbreviations LotR, FotR, TT, RotK stand for
13. You actually think that playing the LotR Trivia game with another Tolkien Fan sounds scintillating (bonus if you love the word "scintillating" so much that you find a way to fit it into every other sentence)

My mom doesn't even like LOTR and knows what that stands for... I'm not sure about the names of each individual book/movie, though.

My mom was just asking last night! She was so confused.

You know you're a Tolkien fan when...

...your brother is playing The Third Age on Gamecube and you are sitting there arguing how inaccurate it is

...when your younger brother tells you to shut up and that you are weird because you start rambling about the history of Middle Earth

...when you say the LOTR video games aren't realistc --then realize that it's fantasy and the movies and books aren't realistic either

...so you say the game isn't accurate instead

You know your a Tolkien fan when....

1. You know Iceland has a college called the Icelandic Elf College.

2. You ask your teacher to count elvish as a foreign Language for a school credit.

3. Instead of telling your friend to run you shout "Fly you fool!"

4. You think Hobbits are real and that they live in Iceland.

You know you're a Tolkien fan if . . .

~ If you consider naming your dog Arwen, but call her Rosie instead.

~If you have an interactive TV game for LOTR which involve swordfights with every villain in the movie.

~If you're leaping about in excitement after you defeated the Balrog in the aforesaid game.

~If your favorite movies are LOTR, and you annoy your brother by stating everything that is wrong with the plotline.

~If you and your brother have discussions on what you would be if you lived in Middle Earth (I'm a Rohan maid, BTW)

~If your best friend has the soundtracks and can play them on the piano (I'm searching for them on itunes)

~If you're absolutely thrilled that there are a bunch of other LOTR nuts on HW.

There, not very creative, but every part is true.

You know you're a Tolkien fan when...

- You train your pets to obey elvish commands

- You wear LotR costumes in public (I LOVE THE CONVERSATIONS IT STARTS!)

- You have nightmares about being a 'thrall of Morgoth'.

- You get giddy when you hear names like 'Idril', 'Turin', 'Hurin', 'Feanor', and 'Melian'. (not to mention Luthien, Beren, and Finwe *dreamy sigh*)

- You know what Leaf by Niggle is.

- You have had a movie marathon and watched all three extended versions of the movies. (I am planning to do this this summer!) Extra points if you don't fall asleep.

- You have a replica of the One Ring, and pretend you are invisible when you wear it.

- You still act out scenes from the book when you think no one is watching.

- You would seriously consider marrying Aragorn/Legolas (or Arwen/Eowyn as the case may be.)

You know you are a Tolkien fan when...

- You decide who you and your friends would be from LotR (I'm Faramir, from the books, not so much the movies)
- You watched all three extended versions of LotR in a row and didn't fall asleep and still want to see them ever again.
- You would totally buy a replica of Anduril if it wasn't so darn expensive!
- (in Gollum voice) What's taters precious?

You know you're a Tolkien fan when you do some or all of the things listed in the thread, and you haven't read LotR or watched the movie.

What?! How could anyone not have read the books or watched the movies?! They are the BEST!!

This is how: I haven't read the books because of parental rules, and I don't want to see the movies. (besides the violence, I couldn't live with the plot changes... no TOM BOMBADIL!!! )

Your parents won't let you read LotR? I'm sorry.

Don't be. It's their decision and I respect it.

I'd say I'm sorry but apperantly I'm not supposed to. And how do you know one of the best quotes in the books without having read them? (your sig)

You've spent hours researching the military structure of the Rohirrim
Your computer automatically puts accents above Eowyn, Eomer, and Luthien
You go to RenFests just so you can pretend to be in ME
You daydream about talking with Christopher Tolkien
You know what is written on Tolkien's grave and you can't imagine anything more romantic than that
You were seriously offended when they cut Glorfindel out of the movie
You seriously considered going on a muderous rampage after the TT movie (I assume everyone knows what I'm talking about?)
You are never bored because you're always characterizing (insert little known character here)
In awkward silences you yell "A DIVERSION!" and then laugh manically
Bonus points if you continue said laughter even if noone gets the joke
You get angry when someone spells "dwarves" with an "f" as you consider it a slight to Tolkien
People know not to mention potatoes around you
People know not to mention (insert little known character here) because you will treat them to the latest adventures they have had in your head
When someone writes LOTR instead of LotR, you look down upon them for not being a true fan
When you read fanfic about someone falling into ME, you get very angry about the fact that they can somehow talk to the inhabitents (even though the Common Speech is not english. Hmph)
You had so many more things to write here, but you figure you probobly shouldn't
EDIT: I didn't do this, but I wish I had:
You go to the garden store and ask for athelas, and when they ask you what you're talking about you sigh loudly and say "Kingsfoil! Can I get someone with a little less war and a little more wisdom in here?"

My sister likes LotR a lot, and has quoted that and several other things before. And I have a good memory.

My comment seems a little out of line, and I apologize. It does not sound now the way I intended it to then. So I am sorry for being sorry.

I haven't seen the movies, because of plot changes, and I have my own ideas of how the characters should be and don't want them changed. But I have devoured the books; they are very good.

You know you're a Tolkien fan when:

- You get all the obscure jokes in the Veggie Tales version...all of them!
- This smiley reminds you of the weird spider in RotK...Shelob, I think.

...when you tell people you're Tom Bombadil because your replica of the One Ring doesn't turn you invisible.

Haha! That's great!

My family should know not to, but they do... lol

You know you're a fan when you...

Act out scenes from the movies with your siblings.

When you own all the movies. (including animated ones)

When you have read every book by Tolkien except "The Lost Road"

When it makes your blood boil to think they spelled Tolkien's name wrong on his tombstone.

These are so me! That is funny!

- Your family is playing LotR Trivial Pursuit, and while you adamently refused to play because it was based on the movies, you find you know every single answer and end up sitting at the table giggling at every "Super easy, how can you not get it?" question.
Related: The one time you did play LTP you were banned from ever playing again because the game lasted 10 minutes.
- You write random essays on themes in LotR.
- If someone even mentions the words "Tolkien" and "sexist" in the same sentence around you, you get furious and whip out said essay and go on and on about Galadriel, gardens, and writing.
- Your respect of people depends on their knowledge and respect of Tolkien and ME. Therefore, your respect for Viggo Mortensen is HUGE and you have absolutely no respect for Elijah Wood whatsoever.
- Even typing Elijah Wood makes you angry and gives you the intense desire to rant and rage.
- You get pleasure out of annoying Orlando Bloom fangirls by telling them Tolkien said their dear "Leggie" was the character that accomplished the least, as well as calling "Leggie" a pair of binoculars.
- That all being said, you've written essays on how strange it is that Legolas is only a pair of binoculars, despite the fact he's lived the longest and lived in Mirkwood, so actually does have experience.
- You can't listen to Posession by Sarah Mclachlan because you know how perfectly it relates to Grima and it freaks you out so bad.
- You want to visit England simply so you can visit the Eagle and Child in the hope that Tolkien germs still reside there and maybe if they rub off on you you'll be able to write half as well as him.
- You call movie! Faramir David Wenham, and insist others do the same as this jerk is clearly not Faramir.
- You get as angry over slights and disrespects to Tolkien as I, with the result that people tend to think you're a little weird.

When you realize how much you love LotR, and yet you aren't a total addict

You love the movies a bit more than the books because they capture the essence better than the books.

YKYATFW: That post irritated the mccheese out of you.
That's like saying your copycat is a better you than you.
And now you'd looooooove to rant your head off, but are refraining.

When you read the books, do you actually feel an impending sense of doom? Is the outcome unknown even after you've read them a gazillion times? For me, the answers are no for the book. But they're yes for the movies. The books are actually rather boring in the style they're written.

Yes
Everything building slowly is what makes it good. In Moria, for example, you get a feeling of darkness, but not so much of danger. You don't get into danger until it's too late to turn back. Wheras in the movies, right in the beginning there are assorted bones and armor, so when danger acually comes it really anticlimactic, rather than having the building to the top that was probobly intended. With Frodo, in the very begining he's stroking the ring, he needs Sam to help him resist, which completely ruins Sam's big moment later. PJ stiches it together sloppily, overdoing the foreshadowing, so when the real moment comes it's just just kind of "Eh." It all starts out dark, so when the big moments of darkness come, you don't see much change. There is no building. Tolkien is so much more effective, because when the darkness acually begins to set in there is that change, that feeling of wanting to go back. Due to time constraints and the need to cater to the needs of the masses, PJ wasn't able to do all this. The movies definately have their place, and are lovely to look at; I woe the fact that I am not a) A kiwi and b) too young to work, or I would be 2nd prop girl from the left. But no movie can capture all the subtleties, all the tiny details.

A great essay I read last night is this http://faculty-staff.ou.edu/C/Janet.B.C ... tening.htm If you have the time, read it. It's very good.

What you consider one of your finer moments was getting your Tolkien skeptic brother to read the Hobbit.

You were very proud of said brother for remembering 9/12 of the dwarves names.

Your flute teacher walks into the room and you get distracted because you can't stop thinking what a great Arwen she would make.

You really want an "I <3 the sons of Feanor" shirt.

You also want a "Got appendages?" shirt with pictures of Frodo, Beren, and Maedhros.

Your first question to a stranger is "Do you like Lord of the Rings?"

You actually listened to the whole of the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins simply because it had Bilbo Baggins in the title. (I was scared for life, by the way. Why, Spock, why? Letting the world see a song like that is illogical!)

You think the Evenstar necklace is really pretty, but you can't bring yourself to buy it because it brings up memories of "Oh no, Aragorn, Arwen is dying!" *PJ in the distance* "Haha, now people will care even more!" *Fans in the distance* "Ummm, what?"

You watch the extended editions even though many of the scenes really really annoy you.

-When you get up early to start school, and thew house is dark, and you are the only person up, you try (and succeed!) to creep yourself out by saying "My precious!"

-You laugh when your dad is reading the TT aloud, and he says "Fish, nice fish" or "Nasty hobbitses!" because he says it so perfectly.

-Reading only 1 chapter of The Hobbit a day is pure torture (My dad had me do that!)

-Even though you have read the Trilogy a million times, you are dying for your 3rd year of high school so that you can read it for school, discuss it, and write a paper on it!

-You have the Comprehension Guide To The LOTR.

-You use the list of Elvish phrases in the aforementioned comprehension guide to send an email to your friend, to see if he knows as much as you do.

-You are mad that Tom Bombadil was cut out of the FOTR.

-You cannot stand Arwen in the movies. The books are a much better portrayal of her, in your opinion.

-You have only seen the Council of Elrond in the movies, and have decided not to watch any more of them because they are so different from the books.

-You have run out of time to post on here!

Been there, done that!

Ha ha!

-You are sad reading Tolkiens Unfinished Tales because you will never know what happened

-You have played/acted out LOTR a million times until your friends are tired of it. So, you all come up with different ways to play it.

-You have written what it would be like for a new character (who is you) to go with the Fellowship

-You make up characters in LOTR

-You think Elladan (one of Arwen's brothers) is awesome, and have characterized him and pretend he is your big brother

-It makes you mad when your brother confuses "Aragorn" and "Eragon" because there is a hugely important difference

!!!!!!