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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny) ;)
PostPosted: September 28th, 2010, 3:07 pm 
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You guys are my comic relief! Poor pregnant women!

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Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 9th, 2011, 9:37 pm 
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Wow, there is a lot of history contained in this thread. :shock:
Anyway, those bad analogies were SO funny! I was giggling and chortling aloud, even though I was the only person in the room! LOL---literally!

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 10th, 2011, 10:24 am 
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Hilarious! :dieshappy:

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 10th, 2011, 2:03 pm 
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Those are awesome!

Quote:
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.


These are some of my favorites! SO funny!
Quote:
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.


I think this is my favorite! Probably because of seeing ballerinas so often!

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Isaiah 43:2: When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
when you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burnt;
the flames will not consume you; For I am your God.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 10th, 2011, 2:25 pm 
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Svensteel priest of Kylor wrote:
Quote:
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

I think this is my favorite! Probably because of seeing ballerinas so often!

Bahahahahahaha! *Rolls on the floor choking with laughter*

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 10th, 2011, 2:28 pm 
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Quote:
The pregnant woman waddled across the room like a flightless Antarctic bird.


*dies with laughter*

I once compared blood dripping down someone's arm as... a possum hanging from a tree!

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Isaiah 43:2: When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
when you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burnt;
the flames will not consume you; For I am your God.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 11th, 2011, 10:16 pm 
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These are HILARIOUS! :dieshappy:

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Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 12th, 2011, 2:52 pm 
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Some of my favorites from a book I'm editing. Maybe not bad, but they're unusual!

A tall man who looked like a corpse opened the door and gazed down at them with an irritated look, like they had interrupted his burial.

The man looked at her like he might have looked at a frog in his food.

“She’s purty,” the one called Kermit said.
“Hey, I found her,” Otis snapped. “Keep yer eyeballs to yer stinky self.”
“I’ll stick my eyeballs where I darn well please. ‘Sides, don’t you think we could share?”
“She’s a gal, dummy. You can’t share a gal. It causes fighting.”
“Oh. Ma wouldn’t stand for no fighting.”
“That’s right,” Otis said. “‘Specially not over a gal. Ma’s awful strict about gals, you know.”
“Can’t imagine why,” Kermit grumbled. “They’re not so much different than cats. You gotta feed ‘em and pet ‘em and make out that they’re the President of the world and they’ll be happy.”
Lucy heard a slap.
“Oww!” Kermit whined. “What did you do that for?”
“There’s more to it than that,” Otis said. “You treat a gal like a cat and she’ll slap you like I just did."

Lucy opened her eyes. “I’m curious. If I’m a ghost someday, I could feel other ghosts, right? What does it feel like?”
His gaze was distant, still aimed at the window. “Like moonlight,” he said.
Lucy frowned. “What does moonlight feel like?”
“It doesn’t really feel. But if it did, it would be soft, I think. Soft and nice.”
“Like a cold blanket in the summer,” Lucy said. “I think that’s how moonlight would feel.”
Cassy floated closer to her. “What about sunlight?”
“A warm blanket in the winter.”
He smiled and settled down over her knees. “What does wind feel like?” he asked.
She thought for a moment. “Like moonlight,” she said.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 12th, 2011, 8:02 pm 
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Haha Luke! Those are funny!

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Isaiah 43:2: When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
when you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burnt;
the flames will not consume you; For I am your God.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 13th, 2011, 7:12 pm 
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Wow, I hadn't been in here in a while. Thanks for resurrecting this, guys.

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Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 11:53 am 
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Here is one I read recently:

The man stood over the corpse and waited as if a man waiting for a turkey sandwich.

I did not make this up, I found it in a book!

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We are comfort to the weary, We are justice to the wronged
We are defense to the weak, We are vengeance to the preyed upon
We are allies to the good, We are hunters of evil
We are slayers of the wicked, We are protectors of righteousness
We are the shield of the protected, We are the shadow of the elves
We are the walls of the Gnomes, We are the gallows of the Men
We are the guardians of Dhomma, And the keepers of Elintil
We are darkness but of light, We are death in the night
We are servants of Eloh, We are stewards of the Seraph
We are the children of Aelen, The spawn of Aelith the freer
We are the Aelenguard And I am Aeleknight


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 11:56 am 
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Wow! That one is hilarious!

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Isaiah 43:2: When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
when you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burnt;
the flames will not consume you; For I am your God.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 2:06 pm 
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O.o Wow....

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Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 6:00 pm 
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After losing the pilot, the air marshal landed the plane with the finesse of an albatross on the freshly greased coast of South Africa...

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 9:03 pm 
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@Riniel: That sounds like something I'd say... XD

eru

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 9:21 pm 
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Location: Following my Father through the wilderness of sojourning.
I trust you know the albatross and their landings. :D

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You can't spell grin without ̶gRIN
Words are my ̶bread and ̶butter.
http://unshakablegirl.com/
http://www.ravelry.com/designers/kitra-skene

Haud Retene Haud Reverte

All resemblance to persons, people, friends, relatives, quotes, cultures, artificial intelligences, inside jokes, pets, unclaimed personalities, sentient objects, extra-terrestrials, inter-terrestrials, and draperies living, dead, undead, or comatose in any of my work are purely coincidental, incidental, circumstantial, inadvertent, unplanned, unforeseen, and unintentional. There's seriously no way I was referring to you. Honest.

The story so far:
Birthright: Eleventh chapter pending. 28280 words.
Heritage: First chapter drafted.
Legacy: Character and plot development stage.
Get a feel for the land. Visit Lor-Amar today!

Other novels on the brain:
Quicksilver
Shen'oh Story
Crusoe's Star
War Blazer
Seven Arts Story
The Queen's Knave
Polarians
Exile Realms
All Librarians Are Secret Agents


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 9:35 pm 
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Calenmiriel wrote:
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."


I love that one! :dieshappy:

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Philippians 3:14
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 19th, 2011, 9:39 pm 
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* almost dies laughing * :rofl:

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Philippians 3:14
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 29th, 2011, 10:21 am 
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These two I have read and heard recently:

He shook in his boots like a goat struck by lightening.
He will be on him like mold on a shower curtain.

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-Aeleknight

We are comfort to the weary, We are justice to the wronged
We are defense to the weak, We are vengeance to the preyed upon
We are allies to the good, We are hunters of evil
We are slayers of the wicked, We are protectors of righteousness
We are the shield of the protected, We are the shadow of the elves
We are the walls of the Gnomes, We are the gallows of the Men
We are the guardians of Dhomma, And the keepers of Elintil
We are darkness but of light, We are death in the night
We are servants of Eloh, We are stewards of the Seraph
We are the children of Aelen, The spawn of Aelith the freer
We are the Aelenguard And I am Aeleknight


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: July 29th, 2011, 10:28 am 
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Those are hilarious!

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~Emmalina Cedar :D

Philippians 3:14
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: August 10th, 2011, 9:18 am 
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My friend Mindy always says people are stuck on something like flies on poo. *rolls eyes * She's quite the character.

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Airianna Valenshia

The Rainbow in the Storm- My Blog

Be careful of your thoughts; guard your mind, for your thoughts become words. Be guarded when you speak, for your words turn into action. Watch what you do, for your actions will become habits. Be wary of your habits, for they become your character. Pray over your character; strive to mold it to the image of Christ, because your character will shape your destiny.

Ideas can germinate from the smallest seeds. Collect those seeds, and let them grow in the back of your mind. You may be surprised by what finally blooms.

When God takes something from your grasp, he's not punishing you. Instead, He’s opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

Works in progress:

The Diegosian Mark, 115,600 words (Preparing for Publication)
The Diegosian Rider, 121,400 words (Finished)
The Diegosian Warrior, 15,000 (In Progress)


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Analogies...(very funny)
PostPosted: August 11th, 2011, 9:29 pm 
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I just made this one up:


She slipped on the ice, the same way you do on a banana peel.

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Philippians 3:14
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or dismayed for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go.


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