You guys are my comic relief! Poor pregnant women!

Wow, there is a lot of history contained in this thread.
Anyway, those bad analogies were SO funny! I was giggling and chortling aloud, even though I was the only person in the room! LOL---literally!

Hilarious!

Those are awesome!



These are some of my favorites! SO funny!


I think this is my favorite! Probably because of seeing ballerinas so often!

Bahahahahahaha! *Rolls on the floor choking with laughter*

*dies with laughter*

I once compared blood dripping down someone's arm as... a possum hanging from a tree!

These are HILARIOUS!

Some of my favorites from a book I'm editing. Maybe not bad, but they're unusual!

A tall man who looked like a corpse opened the door and gazed down at them with an irritated look, like they had interrupted his burial.

The man looked at her like he might have looked at a frog in his food.

“She’s purty,” the one called Kermit said.
“Hey, I found her,” Otis snapped. “Keep yer eyeballs to yer stinky self.”
“I’ll stick my eyeballs where I darn well please. ‘Sides, don’t you think we could share?”
“She’s a gal, dummy. You can’t share a gal. It causes fighting.”
“Oh. Ma wouldn’t stand for no fighting.”
“That’s right,” Otis said. “‘Specially not over a gal. Ma’s awful strict about gals, you know.”
“Can’t imagine why,” Kermit grumbled. “They’re not so much different than cats. You gotta feed ‘em and pet ‘em and make out that they’re the President of the world and they’ll be happy.”
Lucy heard a slap.
“Oww!” Kermit whined. “What did you do that for?”
“There’s more to it than that,” Otis said. “You treat a gal like a cat and she’ll slap you like I just did."

Lucy opened her eyes. “I’m curious. If I’m a ghost someday, I could feel other ghosts, right? What does it feel like?”
His gaze was distant, still aimed at the window. “Like moonlight,” he said.
Lucy frowned. “What does moonlight feel like?”
“It doesn’t really feel. But if it did, it would be soft, I think. Soft and nice.”
“Like a cold blanket in the summer,” Lucy said. “I think that’s how moonlight would feel.”
Cassy floated closer to her. “What about sunlight?”
“A warm blanket in the winter.”
He smiled and settled down over her knees. “What does wind feel like?” he asked.
She thought for a moment. “Like moonlight,” she said.

Haha Luke! Those are funny!

Wow, I hadn't been in here in a while. Thanks for resurrecting this, guys.

Here is one I read recently:

The man stood over the corpse and waited as if a man waiting for a turkey sandwich.

I did not make this up, I found it in a book!

Wow! That one is hilarious!

O.o Wow....

After losing the pilot, the air marshal landed the plane with the finesse of an albatross on the freshly greased coast of South Africa...

@Riniel: That sounds like something I'd say... XD

eru

I trust you know the albatross and their landings.

I love that one!

* almost dies laughing *

These two I have read and heard recently:

He shook in his boots like a goat struck by lightening.
He will be on him like mold on a shower curtain.

Those are hilarious!

My friend Mindy always says people are stuck on something like flies on poo. *rolls eyes * She's quite the character.

I just made this one up:


She slipped on the ice, the same way you do on a banana peel.