I couldn't find the "signing off" thread for some reason so I'm just going to put this here.

Friends, I came here a few years ago, and I have been sporadic at best with my involvement due to a crazy and always bouncing schedule. But now it's come to the end.

I know some of you here understand the situations that have led to this decision, and a lot of you do not. This decision comes after a few months of reflection and careful consideration - my conclusion is that it's time for me to leave.

Why, you ask? Because I am entering into a new stage in my life. I am now a husband of a beautiful wife, and I am working so very hard to support her. I have bills to pay, food to provide, and work to do. I have to cultivate my relationship with her, and keep my marriage at the forefront of all things I do as God has called me to do. This reality has led to me having to end a few friendships that had become toxic to that cause, and made it impossible to fulfill my God-given duty. Holy Worlds has now come as something I have to put behind me.

I count many of you as dear friends and I love to keep in contact with you. Some of you have become angry at me, and understandably so. I am a fallen man, and I am so riddled with sin that I have given you so much reason to be angry. All I ask of that is your forgiveness, and know that when I think of you, I wish you well. To those who may have heard those stories, and may think ill of me, you have good reason, but I had my own reasons for what I did. Every story has two sides.

With this post, I am letting go of all vows made, both ones I have made and ones others have made to me through honorary siblingship, and I am now just your brother in Christ. I am letting go of you, and I ask for you to simply let go of me. Into the hands of the Father, I commend you.

It is not lightly' I do this, but I must say goodbye, my friends. And again, I am sorry. May the Lord richly bless you beyond all measure.

Oh great, and mighty God. Thank you for the blessings you have shown me through Your people here on this forum. Thank you for the rich hours spent, the heartwarming, challenging, and Godly discussion provided. I pray now that Your mighty hand of blessing and peace would fall on those who read this, and that You would continue to bless others through them. I ask this through the Name of Your Son, who with You and the Holy Spirit reign, One God, forever and ever. Amen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wF1sgXqF90

God bless you always, Michael!

I haven't heard any hearsay at all about you; but I do know that it frustrates me when people do not go looking for the other side of the story, and they simply take what one person says, as it really amounts to just gossip then. I haven't ever heard anything but nice things said about you.

I will miss seeing you around here, and have for some time now. I hope and pray that you have many happy, fruitful and blessed years with your beautiful wife, and may God bless you immensely as you both walk to please Him first.

I completely understand your decision to focus on other things in life now, and have no ill feeling at all with you doing that! You should follow God first always!


Thank you for letting us know about your departure! (I haven't ever listened to that song before, the words are so beautiful!)

God bless you and your lovely wife again!

I hope everything goes well for you, Michael!

God bless you, Michael, and know that I highly respect you for doing this. I know it is hard, but you knew it needed done and you did it anyway. I respect that. May the Lord bless you and keep you, and may He prosper your marriage.

I have not heard the hearsay, either, and even if I had, I would have gone to you to get the other side of the story. Like Elanor, I do not understand why people believe everything that one person tells them about another person without going to that other person for their side. It makes no sense to me.

God bless you on this new journey in your life as you prepare to further make your mark on this world.

I just have some things to say. First, I'll state that I'm very happy for you and your marriage; congratulations. Nothing I have to say affects that, and take what I say with a grain of salt, because I'm well aware that I don't know the whole story about your life, your emotions, etc.

One, were friendships simply toxic as in they went bad, or did they just somehow detract from time you felt your wife deserved? Because if it's the latter, then the word 'toxic' is highly inappropriate and not at all applicable. 'Time-consuming' or 'now unwanted' would have been kinder terms to use, and possibly more honest if it was the latter. Toxic is a bad word to use regarding friendships of any kind; unless a person wasn't really a friend and were really actually being toxic.

I haven't heard both sides, and I don't claim to have. All I've heard from one side is hearts breaking, and I'm inadequate to pick up the pieces. I don't even know that whole story. Only that friendships ended abruptly and without explanation, and that there are people out there who are devastated because of it.

Am I angry/upset? Yes. Because I have siblings I want to protect who have been hurt by whatever choices you made - again, choices I don't know about. Do I forgive you? Yes. Because you used to be my brother, and even if you weren't, forgiving would be the right thing - it's just easier when someone used to invest care and time into you, to forgive them. So yeah. I do forgive you. I still am not happy about how many people your decisions have hurt. But I forgive you yourself.

Would I like to keep in contact with you? Sure. But communication is a two-way street, and if you have no desire to keep contact with me, then I won't bother keeping contact until you find you have the time, the energy, the desire to do so - whatever is keeping you from staying in contact with any of your siblings. Or ex-siblings, as your next paragraph seems to imply.

Letting go of all the vows. That's your choice of words? Dude, that's just a fancier way of saying 'breaking all the promises I made'. I'm sorry, but it's true. If you don't want to talk to people anymore, or you just can't, say it outright to them. Don't hide it behind all the 'God has called me to a higher calling' stuff. Tell them outright, "I don't have the time to talk to you anymore, and I'm sorry" or "It's time for our friendship to end".

At least you can admit you're breaking all your promises. Or letting go of all the vows. Your choice of words makes no difference to the meaning behind them. I commend you for your bravery to admit it.

You know what? Let all of us go. Heaven knows it really hurts your siblings to hear you say that. But as for others letting go of you... I don't speak for anyone but myself when I say... I'm not going to.

Why? Because you're my older brother. And I made a silent promise when I adopted you, just like I do when I adopt anyone - I was never going to leave you on your own, I would keep my word, I was going to always be there for you when you needed me, and most of all, I would never abandon you.

Because that's what siblings do. They stick together, no matter what. And I'm going to keep doing that whether you hate it or not. Because I know what it's like to have promises broken to me, and I know what it's like to be abandoned, and I'm not doing that to any of my siblings, whether they care or not.

Ever. Because a promise is a promise is a promise. Nothing changes that.

Again, I wish you well in life. Thank you for the times you listened and tried to help me. They meant a lot to me.

I'm sorry if I came across as angry, because I'm not. At least, not at you specifically (I can't speak for your actions, though). I'm just hurt and confused.

But hey; I'm resigned to what's happened. You can't ask more than that from me right now.

Good luck, God bless, and - I guess this is it - goodbye.

Moved to Signing On, Signing Off.

I wish you the best of luck as you step forward into the next chapter of your life. We've enjoyed your contributions as a member and if you ever stop by to say hello, you can be certain it will be welcomed with open arms. ^^ Take care!

~Calen

As I was afraid would happen, things have been misunderstood and though I do not want to do things this way, since it has been made a public discussion, I would like to reply to a few things said.

First, is a simply an issue of semantics. My use of the word "toxic" was simply meant to imply that it had become unhealthy for both I and the person on the other side, physically, emotionally or psychologically. I did not mean anything malicious by the word, and I apologize if it was taken that way.

Second, you are right, you don't know both sides. Most people do not and have not asked me for my side of things. That being said, I don't see quite how people see fit to make a judgment on me and my motives, while only knowing one side of the story. I'm not going to air anything, as I see that to be something that does not need to be done, and has no business in a Christian forum.

Third, I stand by my use of words in releasing vows, or I'll put it as releasing promises. Take it as you will, but there was a lot of thought, prayer and consideration that made me come to that decision.

Since my original post was not a satisfactory explanation, let me elaborate.

God called me to grow up. There comes a point in everyone's life when they have to sit down, assess themselves and grow up. To put away childish things. Sadly, sometimes that means you have to let go of things in the previous chapter of life.

Part of growing up is deciding where commitments need to be. God called me to be a husband, therefore, my chief responsibility is to be a husband, not the single, available 24/7 person that I was, which means other things had to go. I have to work full time, pay bills, sustain a household, take care of two people and two vehicles, watch the balances in bank accounts, make sure there's food on the table to eat - things that until you grow up you have no clue how to do. If you want to judge me for doing what I'm supposed to do as head of my home, then so be it. Things had to change, and due to some certain circumstances, and advice from Godly people, I made the tough choices that had to be made.

I'm not trying to be mean, but life is not a Disney movie. Life, real life, is messy. Relationships are messy. Sometimes they can be fixed, other times they can't. Sometimes there is a happily ever after, and other times there isn't. I have owned, admitted and apologized numerous times, very publicly, for the wrong I have done. I know I have done wrong, and I have profusely apologized and sought forgiveness, even when I was met only with silence. So please, if you wish to judge me, do so when you have been where I have been, been hurt as I have, and walked a mile in my shoes.

I'm sorry if this seems blunt, but it seems that's how it has to be. If there is any further response to be made, please make it to my email address, which most to whom this would concern should have, and do not post it on this forum. This is a public sphere, and private matters should not be dealt with here.

Thank you.