|
Ana,
I too am/was dyslexic. For whatever reason, my mom never told me until I was getting my MFA. I didn't learn to read until I was 8. (I had great incentive: I wanted to read the comics because no one would read them to me.) I still mix up my letters when writing and read slow. I'm glad, though, that I didn't know growing up. I didn't have any labels on me. I just tried to adapt to the world the best I could. It sounds like you have too. Our greatest triumphs often come with great struggle.
However, sometimes those we love can add to the struggle. When I was a teenager I loved to write songs. I would constantly write them. Then, when my brothers and sisters asked me not to sing, literally cringing when I did, and when my mom, who writes, was especially critical of my songs, I grew very discouraged. Keep in mind, I have the greatest brother and sisters in the world, and Mama is truly one of the greatest mom's in the world. Still it hurt so much that I wouldn't sing unless it was under my breath or while mowing the lawn, vacuuming, etc. I didn't start sharing my songs again until just recently—15 years later. I'm still very cautious who I share my music with and how I do it. It still hurts.
Now, however, my mom is less critical of my songs, and I'm more open to criticism. Time helps us do that. I can look back on my early songs, and shake my head at their faults. Some of the things that I would geek out about, I look back and wonder why. We become very attached to what we make. Our creations can be so important to us. The little details can live a life of their own. Sometimes, they can come between our relationships with people.
An examination of your particular problem:
In your explanation, you seem to imply that your mother is being overly harsh with you. I doubt she is doing this on purpose, though some people are overly harsh on purpose. Here are some ideas how to think about you and your mom's relationship, how to preserve it, and how to continue writing:
Often moms can be especially harsh on their children that they have more of an emotional investment. I'm guessing that you are your mother's only—or maybe oldest—girl child? Your shared dyslexia probably adds a common bond between you two. She may feel very responsible for you, and try to push you to greatness.
Also, she might feel intimidated by your reading and writing. She may feel deficient because of her own dyslexia. It's sometimes hard for teachers to watch their students master skill sets that they do not understand. Sometimes it may seem unfair to see someone effortlessly conquer in areas that are still a major struggle.
Besides that, she might be worried about your future. Sometimes writers do not lead the most healthy lives (typing indoors all the time, little exercise, limited social life). Perhaps she thinks you would be happier doing something else. She may think that you might be more suited to do something else, because of your dyslexia.
Likewise, she may see something in how you are writing now that is hindering your life now. When I was mid-teens, I became so involved in my comic books and into my imaginary world that my mom banned me from using my imagination for a week. I think of that as an important lesson, one that I keep bringing back to my mind. We live in this world. The worlds that we imagine cannot compare to the wonder around us. Though we write fiction about lands elsewhere, let us find our greatest joy in this life.
Your mom may not even realize that she is being harsh. Moms often have a lot on their mind. She may have misspoke. None of these things make it any easier, but it's helpful to think about them when you are hurting.
What to do about your Mom?
Even if she is hurting you maliciously (which I sincerely hope she's not), Paul warned us to make sure that we do not let others' wrongs destroy our fellowship with them. (I Corinthians 6:7-8) Instead, find ways to love her in Christ. (Romans 12:14-21) Above all, do not let bitterness grow in your heart! (Hebrews 12:14-17) God has placed you in your family for a reason, and you don't want to miss out on the blessings He has for you in your family.
Be sure to honor her, as others have mentioned. We never have perfect parents, so we must find ways to honor their God-given role in our lives. Let us therefore:
1) Look for the wisdom that she has. Even unsaved parents in the world have a certain amount of wisdom that they have gleaned from experiencing God's world. I'm sure your mother has much more, though she may not have the time to tell you all that she knows or to tell it in an understandable way.
2) What books does your mom read? What does she enjoy doing? What does she suggest the family does when they are together? Does she enjoy movies or sermons? Find out what she likes and try to join her in those things sometimes.
3) Be sure to live this life well. Do your chores. Be friendly and talk with people at church. Watch the wind in the trees. Pray and read your Bible. Apologize to your mom if you have offended her. These are the things that make our lives more meaningful. Books will always be written, but life is only so long.
How can you work on your writing in this kind of environment?
1) Change the spelling of the character's name. Unless this other spelling is important to the story (is the spelling a meaningful pun off the theme? is the character an unusual character which deserves an unusual name?), then bite back your pride and change the name. If you need to keep it for the sake of the story, then find a way to explain its unusual spelling in your story.
Be critical of your work. Do you hook your reader with an interesting beginning? How is your structure? Are you concise? Do you use the passive voice too much? How do you construct your sentences? In the long run, you can be your best critic if you look at your work objectively. This can also take the sting out of the rejection of our writing.
2) Cut back writing hours for a time. Don't stop all together, but cut them back. In a week or two, or maybe a month, you can start writing more. Try to write some things that your mom might like as well as your Musicthis story. Sometimes our best work will come from when we have creative constraints like these. Do whatever you can to make peace between your mom and yourself.
3) Remember that your personal self differs from your writer self. Those you live with will always love you for being you. Your writing is something else. In fact, those closest to you will often see your writing in the process, while it is least appreciable. Don't ask your family to love you for your writing. Let them love you at times in spite of it. You will get plenty of appreciation from your fans eventually.
Conclusion:
Well, this long comment may not sound very pleasant to your ears. I understand. Though I am twice your age, I remember those teenage years well. Seek Jesus in these difficult times. These times draw us closer to Him and make us better writers.
Sincerely,
Matthew
Gal. 3:4
|
...
.
)
........
), so she doesn't exactly like it as a genre (though she read one of my short stories and liked it). I think with me it's a matter of...disinterest, maybe. That and the fact that we are going through a few things that distracts my parents from the products of their kid's imagination...