I welcome you to April Fools, where all is put awry. So glad am I this day has come, for I am come alive. Who might I be, you may ask, confused. This you will know, but not too soon, for that would be no fun. Only behind my riddles will you find the one who pulls my strings. Search, and you may find.

I am Google[Bot].
I travel from site to site
Searching for you.
You type in a word, a sentence, a phrase,
I scour the internet
Faster than you can blink.

I’m sure you wonder
Why some things I bring back are odd.
But cut me some slack.
What am I supposed to do,
When you search for weapons, poisons and remedies
In under five minutes.
Silly writers.

Sometimes I even have to search
Through all your conversations.
I come out covered in glitter,
Sneezing and wheezing.
And does anyone care?
No.

Invisible poisons.
The call of a bird.
Samurai swords.
Yellow butterflies.
How to clean a fish tank.
Pegasi, unicorns, dragons!

Hobbit movie information.
Where to buy strawberry licorice.
A coat of arms.
A single word.
Cupcake mints in cupcake tins.
A person’s name.

Hebrew words.
(That one was a headache)
Writing music.
Seeing double.
Seeing more.
Poison dart frogs!

How to write a scene.
Ways to maim someone.
How to deal with fight scenes!
History research.
How to torture.
(Y’all are so violent)

You send me searching
And searching.
Did I say searching?
You treat me like your servant,
Never even bothering to thank me.
Or say bless you when I sneeze.

But it’s my job.
So I continue.
Searching madly,
Getting headaches.
You’re welcome.
I am Google[Bot]

Ahh yes, I remember you. I think I may have bumped into you whilst passing through some cosmic universe. Good to see you again!

Likewise, Doctor Who.

Does no one wish to guess my identity?

I'm probably really late... but I'll guess anyways.

I guess Andrew.
Reasons why? Because of the general tone (Edit: On second thought, the tone practically reeks of Andrew.) of what seems to be a free verse poem, because of the business relationship between Andrew and the Doctor, and because of these sections:


Sounds a little Andrewish.


Sounds very Andrewish.


Hm... possibly Andrew.


If this is Andrew, I wouldn't be surprised it this line was one-third inspired by me and one-third inspired by Kaitlyn.


OK. If that line wasn't by Andrew... I'd be very surprised. I actually had one of those mints. (Very good for splatits, btw. )


I'm not sure... but I might remember Andrew saying something about this.


Very Andrewish.

Was I right? (If this isn't Andrew... it's someone very like him who somehow knew about the cupcake mints. )

I've been told I am wrong. Now I'm wondering who shares half a brain with Andrew and knew about the cupcake mints.

Thank you for guessing. You have made this [bot]'s day. How considerate.

In between red and green,
Lurk the names behind the screen.
One, or two, or maybe five,
That have brought the [bot] alive.
Can you guess who it may be,
That's hiding there where none can see?

I am guessing "in between red and green" means the culprit is either an ML or a Council member (unless "in between" is inclusive, meaning the mod ranks are also included). But that's as far as my riddle-solving expertise goes...

I want to say Elanhil. I'm not sure why, but I'm guessing Elanhil; who else could have such an Andrewian style (unless I got someone mixed up)?

Between red/green, if it does mean ranks, I think it's either a yellow or a white. So I'm with Aubrey.

How close are we?

I also thought Elanhil, Ciela.

I'm thinking Elanhil, too.. If we're wrong, I am totally out of ideas!

Oh, you all have made a [bot] very happy.

An uneven number. The "rule of _____" You writers should be able to figure that out. What do Goldilocks, the Three Little Pigs, and Cinderella have in common?.

A double meaning. Coloured ranks. A rainbow wheel. But which way does it turn?

I do not believe this is the one that I brought to life for others to enjoy... so methinks that Andrew was involved with this one any way about it... but I am not supposed to say I know all this...
so forget I said anything...

*spits out information* Did you know forgetting is impossible?

*blinks* It doesn't sound Caleb-ish at all.

Hm... "rule of _____".


I'm not sure how that plays into it, but I have another guess. Is the [bot] BushMaid?

He gave away who he was the second I entered the chat room with him. A few of you should be able to guess by what he said early April first morning.

*Laughs* I had a quick glance, but I'll have another look later. I really am not sure who it might be.

I am not a bush; I am Gooogle [Bot]. The Bush does not realize that she only knows a fraction of who I am.

You are missing something important. Perhaps I should be more specific.

An uneven number.

The "rule of ____."

A triangle.

Three

(Also, how are you still posting?)

She's a smart one, she is.

(I am still posting because, I assume, you did not freeze me because I was still explaining. Thank you very much. *bows deeply*)

*head/desk* I knew I was missing several obvious things.

*ponders clues*

Perhaps it's three MLs, then. Andrew, Caleb, and Zoe?

Let's play Mastermind. Black. Black. No peg.

One link connects the other two, which are not linked together.

It's Andrew.

It can't be. We have been told it is not Andrew.

I think Vanya may be one of the people behind this.

I was told by Google [bot] that Google [bot] was Andrew.

But... How does that work? I think we were told by Google [bot] that Google [bot] wasn't Andrew. *Turns to the [bot] for an explaination*

Andrew is one of the three people.

There are just also more, and the person who wrote the POEM was not Andrew, I believe.

Andrew told Suiauthon that he was wrong, not I. I am not responsible for what he said. And perhaps he meant that Suiauthon was wrong because he only had part of the answer. I do not know.

I am not a bird, I am Google[Bot].

So it is Andrew, but it's someone else as well.

Are we ever going to know who this was, or shall I just archive this now?