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War
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=246&t=8843		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Spirit of the Sky [ June 16th, 2014, 9:52 am ]
Post subject:  War
Here is a poem I have written. I haven't chosen a title for it yet, so I just named it War for now.


Darkness reigns with vengeful glare,

Bodies are lying everywhere;

Crashes of shells and the chatter of guns

Sightless I stagger; trying to run.



****! I hear somebody yell;

Was he there at prayers? I cannot tell

But screams and cries make me think I’m in hell

I seek cover from the falling shell.



I see his body lifeless there

Legs blown off and splattered through the air;

Face contorted in a silent scream;

I hope that I will wake from this dream.



Bullets are zipping through the air

Blood is flowing everywhere;

Boys are dying on the floor.

Please God, I can’t bear any more.



What will happen to my wife?

Will she have a happy life?

Will my son remember his Daddy’s face?

Will he remember the day we ---

* * * *

Somewhere where the field was green,

Countless white crosses were to be seen.

She placed a single poppy where he lay;

But never really knew what he saw that day.
Author:  Elijah McGowan [ June 16th, 2014, 9:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
Nice Katherine! Brought back vividly my memories of the last time I visited the American cemetery in Normandy, France. Haunting. Great job!
Author:  Lady Elanor [ June 16th, 2014, 9:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
I already told you elsewhere, Kathy, but to repeat myself, I really like this poem. It shows the horror and loss of war; very moving.
Author:  Spirit of the Sky [ June 16th, 2014, 9:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
Thank you :) I am glad you both like it.
Author:  Calista Bethelle [ June 16th, 2014, 9:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
:shock: Very, very vivid. It captures what war is really like, and not how some people romanticize it.
Author:  AzlynRose [ June 16th, 2014, 9:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
Wow. :bawl: That was so sad! Good job writing it.
Author:  Spirit of the Sky [ June 16th, 2014, 9:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
Thank you :) It was quite hard writing it, because I got so emotional!
Author:  Calista Bethelle [ June 16th, 2014, 9:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
*Laughs* I can understand that being an issue. :)
Author:  Sienna North [ June 16th, 2014, 9:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: War
Wow, this is beautiful and chilling and very sobering. So true, too--it really made me feel like I saw through his eyes.

A suggestion for the title: what if you used the "poppy" motif from the ending? For people who are familiar with those battlefield graveyards, it might give a hint, but certainly not a very strong one. Just a thought ;)
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