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Lady Elizabeth
 Post subject: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:32 am 
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This is a poem that I wrote for a school project. Let me know if it sounds good!

The Waves of the Sea

The waves of the sea are gently blown,
Those beauitful waves of blue and green.
The gills of the swimming fish are shown,
Making quite a beautiful scene.

The waves then lap upon the shore,
Making such a lovely sound.
These waves are followed by many more,
Always ensuring that wet sand will be found.

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Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
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Lady Elanor
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:33 am 
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It's beautiful, Rachel. My one thought would be to drop one of the 'many, many more and just have many more, and also maybe drop the that in the last verse. It's brilliant though, I can just picture it. :D

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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king

J. R. R. Tolkien

My favourite quote: "God will give His kindness for you to use when your own runs out."

Pippin's Waggy Tales

Autumn Leaves

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Lady Elizabeth
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:33 am 
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I'll take out the second many. I thought about that, but left it. Thanks!

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"I may just nibble..."
-Garfield

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:7

Writings in progress:
My poetry book

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Lady Elanor
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:34 am 
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Okay, and you're welcome! I hope you share more poetry soon. :cool:

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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king

J. R. R. Tolkien

My favourite quote: "God will give His kindness for you to use when your own runs out."

Pippin's Waggy Tales

Autumn Leaves

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Lady Elizabeth
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:34 am 
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I'd love to!

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"I may just nibble..."
-Garfield

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
1 John 4:7

Writings in progress:
My poetry book

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Elijah McGowan
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:34 am 
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Ooh! That was pretty...

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Sienna North
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:35 am 
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Ooh, how beautiful! I love the soothing, peaceful, sloshing feeling of the poem. I feel like I'm swept away on the ocean currents myself. Lovely work! :D

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Calista Bethelle
 Post subject: Re: The Waves of the Sea
PostPosted: June 17th, 2014, 10:35 am 
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I like it, Elizabeth! :D I can see the ocean! XD

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