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"Bad Day, hunh?" queried Herobrine, still staring at the woman across the glade.
"Oh," remarked Anko, "You have no idea."
For a moment, they both stared at each other, without moving or breaking eye contact. Then, Anko spoke up again.
"What about you?" she asked. "How's your day been?"
"It's been well," replied Herobrine. "although if you consider getting lost in a forest well, then yeah."
"Lost?" asked Anko, slowly raising an eyebrow. "Oh, why would you ever get lost in this place? I mean, it's not a paved road or anything, but it shouldn't be that easy to get lost in here." Smirking, Anko propped herself on her elbow. "Though, I would like to know why you came in here in the first place. I don't know if you know this, but the Forest of Death isn't exactly popular with most people. So, what are you doing here?"
"Doing?" quipped Herobrine. "I'm not doing anything at the moment. I just came in here to admire the trees, the flora and fauna, and to contemplate life in general." Smiling, he added, "Didn't plan on getting lost, though I can handle myself just fine."
"Uh hunh…" deadpanned Anko. "And the fact that the gate around this place said 'KEEP OUT' just flew over your head, didn't it."
"Yep."
"…"
"Who are you really," stated Anko, who began to clean her fingernails with a kunai. "Oh, and like you said, I am having a bad day, so lying is ill-advised," she finished off with a glare.
"Who am I," intoned Herobrine, now getting to his feet, brushing off some dirt. "Well, if I were to name myself, I would most likely say that I'm a Traveler. Or a ranger, if you prefer." Cracking his neck, he looked at the girl, and smiling, spoke, "You, though, can call me Herobrine."
"…. Hero…Brin?" Anko frowned.
"Uhh.. No. It's Hero Brine. Ya know, like saltwater brine? You accent the "I". Something like 'Twine', only replacing the 'T' with a 'B'."
"…. Ok then," Anko observed, "but that still doesn't answer my question." Slowly getting to her feet, while trying to avoid putting too much weight on her left leg, she palmed the kunai in a reverse grip and stood. "What are you doing in Training Ground #44? Did Minato set you up to this?"
"….No idea who this 'Minato' is," replied Herobrine, not smiling anymore.
"Seriously?" retorted Anko. "You have no idea who he is?"
"Nope."
….
"You're not from around here, are you."
"Like I said, I'm a traveler. That part I didn't make up."
"…[REDACTED]," swore Anko, readying herself for a possible confrontation. "So are you here on a joy ride or something? Or are you here to kill me?"
Raising both eyebrows, Herobrine opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again.
"Why would I kill such a beautiful creature as you?"
"S-shut up!" Anko hastily responded, slightly red in the face. "Why else would you follow me in here? You already dropped a tree on me, so are you just doing this for a laugh?" Dropping into a stance, she winced as her foot caught on something, but she steadied herself.
"I didn't dro-… Ooohh," Herobrine realized. "Oops… My bad. Didn't think anyone was around when I knocked that tree down."
"Oh sure, and I'm the prettiest girl in Konoha," Anko deadpanned.
"Well, are you?" Herobrine asked.
"What do you think, you dolt?"
"…Yes. Yes, you are," Herobrine replied, plastering a very annoying smirk on his face.
Palming her face, Anko gave an exasperated groan and grimaced at the man's wit. Still not letting go of the kunai, she limped out of the wrecked tree and strode over to the man, who was leaning against a pine, hand in his pockets. Coming closer, she noted the fact that he really had nothing dangerous on his figure, and while it was a slight relief that he wouldn't backstab her the first chance he got, it was still unnerving as to how he got in here without dying a horrible death.
"Do you have any idea the position you are in right now," Anko inquired. "Here you are, in the fricken Forest of Death, with no weapons, nothing that remotely looks like camping equipment, and you have no idea who the Hokage of Konoha is. Doesn't this… oh I don't know… concern you at all? Any?"
"I know exactly what position I'm in right now," Herobrine responded, taking his hands out of his jeans. "I am leaning against a tree without a care in the world, talking to a young teen, who is very beautiful by the way, and who also is making hostile motions towards me, despite her sprained foot. I also know, and you should know, that threatening someone who already displayed superior strength on that trunk over there is a very bad idea. Because-"
In a split second, he crossed the distance in a flash, barely disturbing the grass around him. Placing his right hand on her shoulder and covering the kunai with his left, Herobrine whispered to the startled girl.
"If I can drop trees with my bare hands, then you have to wonder. What else can I do?"
I'm screwed, Anko immediately thought, tensing up as she braced herself for an imminent attack. Kami, I am SO screwed. You just had to antagonize him, didn't you, Mitarashi. Ah [REDACTED], this is the worst day ever. Flinching, she closed her eyes, only to gasp as, in one fluid motion, her legs were swept out from underneath her and she found herself in Herobrine's arms.
"Thankfully, for you at least," Herobrine remarked, "I'm not interested in doing much tonight. Now with your help, I would like to leave this forest, and since you have so graciously pointed out that there is society nearby, perhaps you would be equally generous in pointing the direction so we both can vacate this place?"
"ACK!" roared Anko, violently ramming her elbow into his jaw. "Put me the [REDACTED] down!"
Startled, Herobrine staggered back a couple steps, and unceremoniously dropped her on her bad leg. Yelping, Anko herself stumbled and fell back ontop of her behind, landing ungainly on a protruding root.
"…That wasn't nice," Herobrine muttered to himself as he got back up, rubbing his jaw. "Here, I offer to carry you out of here and you try to dislodge a molar." Blinking, he shook his head as the young woman screeched obscenities at the top of her lungs, having very likely injured her ankle more and having a root up her rump.
"Ahhhggg…" Anko whimpered, prying herself off the ground. "This day sucks."
"Wait till' you get married."
"Shut up, Herobrine."
Wincing in a great amount of pain, Anko dragged herself against a tree and sat down with tears in her eyes. As if this day couldn't get worse, now she was being manhandled by some stranger who was thoroughly confusing the heck out of her. Sprained ankle, possibly broken, and a throbbing posterior, Anko silently cussed out whatever gods were laughing their heads off up in heaven. Suddenly starting, when a drop of particularly cold rain hit her neck, she looked up to find that the rain had picked up in intensity, and now began to pour down, thoroughly drenching the two people. Clenching the kunai in one hand and her fist in the other, she sent a withering glare at the bemused man as she contemplated what to do next. Waiting out the storm seemed like a good idea, but she would be [REDACTED] if she was forced to spend the night out here instead of her bed back home. She reasoned that she probably could return to Konoha before things got worse than they already were, but that would mean leading the stranger right into the city. Looking him over, she surmised that she still had no idea what this guy was, except that his name was "Herobrine" and he was annoying as [REDACTED]. She did not know whether he was a civilian, shinobi, or whoever he said he was. All she had to base off of were what he'd already said, and that wasn't a very comforting thought.
"So," Anko conceded. "If you're not from around here, then where are you from? There's no way you could have just waltzed in here on your own."
"Well," Herobrine replied, dropping down beside her ignoring the disgusted sound she made, "I don't see why you would believe me, even if that's what I did."
"No, I wouldn't", she accepted, leaning her head back against the tree, listening to the pitter patter of the downpour around her. "I'd assume vice versa as well?"
"Now, there's where you're wrong," stated Herobrine. "Despite first impressions, I have no problems with listening to what people say. I'm just good at detecting lies, that's all," he admitted. Sniffling, he got back up and looked down at the soaked girl.
"Are you really just going to sit there all night? You'll catch something, and it'll only make your horrible, no good, very bad day worse." Folding his arms across his chest, Herobrine considered something for a moment, then added, "I'll carry you out of here if you want, but you had better not wail on me if I do."
"….fine." Anko grumbled. "Cop a feel and this kunai is going up your ass."
"I wouldn't dare," chuckled Herobrine. Bending down, he scooped the girl back up in his arms, taking great care not to get walloped again. Straitening back up, he looked around, then back at the disgruntled girl.
"Where to, miss?"
"Well," said Anko, "It would be much easier if we could travel on the branches, but since you're not a shinobi, then I doubt you can do that."
"… What's a shinobi?"
"….Oy… You know what, forget about it," she moaned. "Just climb a tree or somethinggggGGAAHHH!"
With a sudden burst of movement, Herobrine went from ground level, to nearly twenty feet in the air with a single jump. Landing steadily on a think branch, he grinned back at her.
"Next?" he questioned, only to duck as she swung her kunai at his head.
"WILL YOU STOP THAT?!" she yelled at him. "Geez…"
Smirking, Herobrine looked expectantly back at Anko, who merely grunted in consternation and nodded her head in a direction. Leaping from tree to tree, Herobrine carried her bridal style through the dense forest and the rain, never stopping or slipping. After a long while, he noted that the forest seemed to be thinning out in places and the trees were less clumped together. Down below, Herobrine noted multiple deer paths seemed to spring out of nowhere and signs of human activity, like campfires and muddy footprints, appeared on the ground. Ahead, a tall, barbed gate materialized out of thin air, with weird scrawling on a red sign. Herobrine assumed this was the "Keep Out" sign, although he could not read it.
Suddenly, almost without warning, he saw ahead of him a massive stone wall, topped with slanting red shingles. Stopping on a limb, he hopped down to the ground and met solid dirt once again. Looking up, he whistled to himself, staring at the eighty foot high wall that seemed to stretch on in two directions, only curving slightly.
"[REDACTED], that's a big wall," Herobrine remarked.
"It should be," responded a slightly winded Anko. "It's Konoha."
"So, where's the gate?"
Nodding in another direction, Anko slightly jerked as Herobrine took off down the wall on the surrounding path. After what seemed like a couple minutes, two massive, wooden doors could be seen slightly ajar with a couple men in green vests chatting outside. Coming to a slow walk, Herobrine gently started to lower Anko down, only for her to wrap her arm around his neck.
"No sir," she smirked at him. "If you can carry me through that forest, then you can [REDACTED] well carry me back home."
"Freeloader," Herobrine grumbled, but he hoisted her back up, and walked towards the gate.
"Halt," one of the men abruptly spoke, disengaging from his friends. "Who are you and what are you-"
"It's me, ya [REDACTED]." Anko blurted out. "Can't you see?"
"A-Anko!" The man took a few steps back, startled. "Where have you been?"
"Where do you think?" she retorted. Coughing a bit, the man re-composed himself and stared at Herobrine, who passively stared right back.
"Who's he?"
"He's with me. Now shove off and let us in."Anko growled, sending shivers down the man's spine.
"N-Now hold on here," the man said with a slightly tremulous voice. "You know procedure, Mitarashi. All incoming persons must register themselves at the gate, regardless of who they are. Which reminds me, how did you get out without signing out?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I jumped the wall. What else do ya think?" Anko deadpanned. She looked back up at Herobrine, who shrugged nonchalantly and looked back.
"I don't mind," replied Herobrine. "Hopefully it won't take long; this young woman seems to have busted her ankle."
"Oh," the guard acknowledged, now noticing Anko's slightly pained expression. "It shouldn't take long, no. Follow me please." With that, the man led them inside the gate to a sheltered booth, where he got out a couple pieces of paper. "I just need you to fill these out," he stated, then flinched away as Anko shot him a death glare. "Or, I can fill them out for you." He relaxed as Anko grinned.
"Name?"
"Herobrine" The man paused a moment, trying to figure out how to write that down.
"Occupation?"
"Carpenter." (Anko gave him a funny look)
"Purpose of visit?"
"Besides helping this young woman, visiting an old friend."
"Where do you Hail from?"
"Kirigakure," Anko interrupted Herobrine as he was about to say something. "Now will you hurry up please? I can't feel my feet." The man stared at her for a second, then shrugged and wrote it down.
"Anything to declare?"
"Konoha has a ton of trees."
"… o…kay.."
Jotting down a few more notes, the guard stapled a couple papers together, then filed them away. He handed Anko a small sheet of paper, then turned back to Herobrine.
"Very well then. I believe that's all I need from you at the moment. Upon entering Konoha, you will be expected to follow all the rules and stuff. No troublemaking, no antagonizing the shinobi, all that good stuff. You will be subject to all rules, all finances you incur, and any crimes you commit will be prosecuted under Konoha Law, unless you can provide sufficient proof of diplomatic immunity. Keep this paper with you at all times. This is your pass into the city. Please don't lose it, as things tend to get complicated if you are found without one." Pausing for a moment, the man added. "There's a cultural festival tomorrow if you're interested. Food, games, celebrations, and a word from the Hokage as well. Might wanna look into that."
"blah, blah, blah, blah, ok, CAN WE GO NOW?" mouthed Anko.
"Yes," sighed the man, "You can now enter Konoha. Again." As Herobrine entered the city, the man called out. "Please try and tell us when you're leaving the city will you Anko? I'm not keen on doing anymore paperwork than I have to."
"Yeah, yeah," she replied. "Oi, you," she stared pointedly at Herobrine. "Turn right here and take the second street down."
Nodding in confirmation, Herobrine adjusted his hold on her, and sped down the busy streets of the city, illuminated by lamplight and moonlight. All around him, one could hear the evening activity of the night life as some people closed down shops and others announced that they were open. The chatter of greetings, the laughter form pubs, all the sounds of Konoha permeated the night air and followed Herobrine through the winding roads, dodging carts and people alike. On some occasions, Herobrine noted a couple people giving him odd looks as he carried Anko through the roads, and on others, he oddly noted some people sneer at him. Strange, though not wholly unexpected, as one usually doesn't see a grown man carrying a young teen running down the streets. As he passed the entrance of an inn, an old man with a cane in one hand and bandages over the side of his face, exited and stared after the fleeing couple with a confused expression.
"Sir, was that what I thought it was?" questioned a masked armed man, who wasn't there a second ago.
"…Pay it no heed, Ox." The man assented, then swiftly brought his hands together.
"KAI"..
Nothing.
"…Are you ok sir?"
"…I hope so," the elder said, and with a brisk motion, he strolled back inside. "One more cup of tea before I leave."
"Yes sir."
==================================================
The first impression Herobrine had of the apartment, was that someone must have done a horrific paint job. Streaks of black stuff were stuck to the window and the doorframe, along with an acrid smell of something burnt. Scanning the door, it looked like it had seen better days, as dings and scratches littered it all over the front.
"[REDACTED].. I never cleaned that," muttered Anko, who slowly was placed on the ground and limped towards the front. "Ignore that… I'll get it later." Picking a small key out of her boot, she unlocked the apartment and walked in. A few seconds, and she poked her head outside again.
"Ya comin?" she asked Herobrine.
"Are you sure?" he replied. "I don't want to necessarily intrude or anything."
"Shut up and come in. Ya carried me back here, so the least I can do is offer you something for your time. 'Sides, Anko Mitarashi always pays her debts," she finished.
"Oh, so that's your full name," Herobrine realized.
"Uhh, yeah.. didn't I…"
It was then that Anko noted with a shock, that she had not told him her name the entire time in the forest and back. While he had freely given information from his person, she had not. Feeling slightly bad about that, she let Herobrine in and shut the door.
"S-sorry. I didn't realize that.." Anko admitted, pink in the face from embarrassment.
"I didn't ask," replied Herobrine. "Nice name, by the by."
Grumbling about stuck up men, Anko hobbled about the room, flipping on lights and dumping her soaked coat over the back of a chair. It was a quaint little sitting area, with two lamps in the corners, a sofa, a low wooden table, two other chairs, and a rug which had a depiction of a snake on in. The walls were painted a light grey with hooks on them and a few shelves, each loaded down with some article of clothing or a box of metal spikey things. Not necessarily tidy, since Herobrine distinctly saw a training bra draped over one of the lamps, but at least it was cozier than the forest.
Farther back in the room was the kitchenette with an island in the middle. A stove sat just below a microwave, affixed to the ceiling, and cutlery and bowls were scattered all over the place. One even held half-finished mush, which smelled something weird. Off to the side of the front room, Herobrine noted a doorway to what he assumed was her bedroom. Having no desire to venture inside, however, he satisfied himself with cleaning up at the sink, washing off all the grime and dirt off his arms. Wiping his face with an errant towel, he could hear Anko in her room banging something about, naturally cursing, and he decided to just crash on the couch until she came back.
A few minutes later, and some thumping could be heard exiting her room. Turning around, Herobrine saw Anko in a tattered, purple night robe, with a bunch of bandages in one hand and a splint in the other. Grunting a half-hearted hello, she sat down on one of the chairs, pulled the table over to her with a screech, and started to patch up her foot, wincing in pain all the way. Craning his neck, Herobrine looked over her ankle as she was wrapping gauze around it.
He Blinked.
"That's not going to work."
Startled, she looked up at Herobrine, who was peering at her ankle intently.
"What are you talking about?" she asked. "It's just a sprain; I've had these before. I know how they feel." She went back to patching.
Herobrine looked about to say something, then abruptly got up. Walking over to the stove top, he pulled out a hot pan, filled it with water, and set it to boil.
"Hungry?" Anko questioned, having already pilfered her dango stores while grabbing a splint.
"No," he replied, looking at the water. "Do you happen to have sugar, salt, baking soda, and some cinnamon?"
Concerned, she stopped with her splint and stared at him. "Are you joking?"
"Nope."
"…. Why"
I'm going to try something. Something that involves sugar, salt, baking soda, and some cinnamon, so if you have some, that would be nice to know.
"…No.. I'm not going to let you pilfer my stores," Anko retorted, fully turning to face him.
He stared at the water for a moment, then turned to her. For a second, she thought she saw a flash of white in his eyes, then it vanished, again.
"What if I told you that is an incomplete spiral fracture, and not just a "sprain."
… "I'd call [REDACTED]."
"Ever had a spiral?"
"…no.. but-"
"Then I can tell you that your splint is going to do nothing. Shrugging, he went back to the pot, staring at it like it was the most important thing in the world. A pregnant silence filled the room, and the only noise was the bubbling of the pot and the occasional crow in the night. Frowning, Anko sat back, completely abandoning her splint.
"What if I told you that I did have what you need?"
"Then I would ask you to do, probably, the stupidest thing you have ever done today."
"Eh…?"
"To trust me."
"…"
"…"
Throwing her hands up in exasperation, she stood up, limped over to a box on a shelf, and rummaged in it for a spell. Finally, pulling out two kunai, she limped back to her chair and sat down.
"I trust you just as much as I trust [REDACTED] to fly."
"Well, when [REDACTED] hits the fan-"
"And if you muck this up, you will hit the fan. In pieces."
"…"
"Well?" she asked. "You just gonna stand there? The stuff is in the left cupboard, third shelf down.
He smiled.
"Then, let us begin."
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