I know I rarely show up in here, but I figured I would, this time.
Okay, I have to write a scene with the aftermath of a battle. I'm doing pretty good, I think, but I wanted to see what suggestions/advice you guys had for me.
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| Battle Aftermath https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=244&t=4514 |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ September 28th, 2011, 4:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Battle Aftermath |
I know I rarely show up in here, but I figured I would, this time. Okay, I have to write a scene with the aftermath of a battle. I'm doing pretty good, I think, but I wanted to see what suggestions/advice you guys had for me.
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| Author: | Varon [ September 28th, 2011, 7:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
What type of battle? There would be bodies, blood, organs, gore, broken swords, broken shields, broken spears, tattered banners, snapped shafts, arrows everywhere,and it would be muddy with grass torn up. It would also smell terribly and would probably feel pretty desolate. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ September 28th, 2011, 9:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
It is actually a fantasy battle, and not so broad scaled as that. It is fought between farmers/tradesmen/common folk and a group of soldiers who were not really prepared for the battle. Also, there is fire. Lots of fire. And I'm more trying to conjure up the emotional aftermath, as opposed to the physical. I've got that down, I think, I'm just trying to make sure I cover my emotional bases.... |
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| Author: | Suiauthon Mimetes [ September 28th, 2011, 10:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
On the physical side... It sounds like there would be lots of scorched earth (literally  ). Evidence of burned bodies, burned weapons and armor, clothes that had been partially or completely burned. Parts of the ground would be burned black from the heat.On the emotional side... I imagine your characters would be in a reflective mood. Slightly slow and lethargic. At the same time they would be grieving for their friends that died. But, in the end, it all depends on the character. 
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| Author: | Varon [ September 29th, 2011, 6:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Still most of what I mentioned, just less armor. I think Sui got most of it. |
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| Author: | Lady Eruwaedhiel [ September 29th, 2011, 11:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Also, depending on how soon after the battle it is and how much they're traversing the former battlefield, some patches would probably still be smoldering/smoking/radiating heat. The smell would not be pleasant, either, as Varon mentioned - think about all the different things the fire would have burned: clothes, metal, grass, dirt, hair, possibly wood, and everything else associated with a battle. Emotionally. I'll get back to you on that.
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ September 29th, 2011, 4:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*grins * Ooh, I was hoping my E would show up. Thanks for the smell triggers, guys. I got most of those, but hair was one I forgot. That is an awful smell. *makes note. Also, I forgot scorched weapons. That is a good point *also notes * No fishing for character info, Mark.  *waits for E to return * Oh, and Varon, thanks for mentioning splintered wood. I ran with that.
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| Author: | Varon [ September 29th, 2011, 6:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
You're welcome. I watched all three LotR movies last week so they're still fresh in my mind. |
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| Author: | Suiauthon Mimetes [ September 29th, 2011, 7:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Airianna Valenshia wrote: No fishing for character info, Mark. *chuckles* You saw through my scheme before I even realized I had a scheme. 
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| Author: | Whythawye [ September 30th, 2011, 5:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Post-traumatic disorders are interesting to look into. Seeing someone you've grown up with and fought alongside, or maybe who you were going to marry, whose corpse is lying cold in the mud, with animals trying to eat him, his body burned half away, his face with an expression you've never seen before and never want to again and never will forget, would create an impact which no one would ever get over. Each character would react differently, but no one would be unaffected, whether or not they show it. Even if you're a soldier who has seen it thousands of times before... it would still add yet another layer to the pain, to the stone, to the walls in your heart. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ September 30th, 2011, 10:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Quote: Post-traumatic disorders are interesting to look into. Seeing someone you've grown up with and fought alongside, or maybe who you were going to marry, whose corpse is lying cold in the mud, with animals trying to eat him, his body burned half away, his face with an expression you've never seen before and never want to again and never will forget, would create an impact which no one would ever get over. Each character would react differently, but no one would be unaffected, whether or not they show it. Even if you're a soldier who has seen it thousands of times before... it would still add yet another layer to the pain, to the stone, to the walls in your heart. Have you secretly been looking over my shoulder at my work? *covers book * |
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| Author: | Varon [ September 30th, 2011, 10:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Or been reading The Hunger Games trilogy? Do you have it in hand then, Airi? |
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| Author: | Whythawye [ September 30th, 2011, 11:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Airianna Valenshia wrote: Quote: Post-traumatic disorders are interesting to look into. Seeing someone you've grown up with and fought alongside, or maybe who you were going to marry, whose corpse is lying cold in the mud, with animals trying to eat him, his body burned half away, his face with an expression you've never seen before and never want to again and never will forget, would create an impact which no one would ever get over. Each character would react differently, but no one would be unaffected, whether or not they show it. Even if you're a soldier who has seen it thousands of times before... it would still add yet another layer to the pain, to the stone, to the walls in your heart. Have you secretly been looking over my shoulder at my work? *covers book * * chuckles * No, I have no idea what you're writing, though I do now.
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ September 30th, 2011, 12:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Oh I've never read the Hunger Games. I would like to, but have not.  I don't think I didn't have it in hand before, I'm just trying to gather all the info I can, as I intend to *glances at beta readers who are reading this *.... let's just say I intend to hit them harder on the second go around than I did on the first. Now don't freak out, guys, I promise you will still like the book. I just want the reality of the situation to be at the forefront of your mind. It is so much harder to discuss this subject without ruining it for my readers. *shakes head * *goes back to writing * |
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| Author: | kingjon [ October 2nd, 2011, 12:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
I agree with the consensus on (to use the older, IMO possibly more relevant term) "shell shock". For inspiration on that front, you might want to look into the first few battles of the (American) Civil War---neither side was prepared for war. And read other fictional portrayals of battle aftermaths; the list I gave in the "Writing Effective Warfare" thread would be a good start. In skimming this topic again before composing this reply, I couldn't find whether you said who won the battle in question. If it was the "farmers/tradesmen", they might go across the battlefield looking for weapons or armor superior to their own. (Depending on how extensive the fire damage would have been.) As I've repeated in the "Writing Effective Warfare" thread, the aftermath of a battle is a good time for your characters to fit together what, exactly, happened during the battle, because during the battle no one knows what's going on in its entirety (except perhaps commanders behind the lines, who can't really act on the action in time for it to do any good). |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 2nd, 2011, 6:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Thanks, Kingjon. I actually didn't say who won for a reason. I have more than a handful of Beta Readers looking at this post and don't want to spoil anything for them. Being a Marine's daughter helps with understanding this subject fairly well, and also the history buff in me has lots to draw from, but have you ever noticed how few things really deal with the emotional trauma of a battle? Thankfully, because of my birth, my Daddy's superiors didn't send him to Desert Storm. I know people involved in wars of the past, but you'd be surprised how few are willing to open up and tell you about it. Especially Vietnam, for multiple reasons. |
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| Author: | Varon [ October 3rd, 2011, 10:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*coughHungerGamestrilogydoes*) I'm trying to deal with the emotional aspect of warfare in The Price of Freedom, but I don't have the technical writing skill to do it yet. |
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| Author: | Lady Eruwaedhiel [ October 3rd, 2011, 6:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Oh yes! Hunger Games does. Read it. *looks sternly at Airianna* Emotionally. I'm not sure I can help much beyond what everyone else has said. It seems to me that it would strip a layer off the world, so to speak. I think we all like to believe that given the choice, we wouldn't kill another person, but seeing the violence and potential for evil that every man has would have a tendency to shove you outside your comfort zone. Regret, I imagine, is another big one. Don't treat these as gospel; I haven't been in any battles or anything, but I can imagine. Regret for what happened, wanting to change things, the feeling of irreversibility that death holds. You should look at the five stages of grief, and look into shock as well. It seems some of the symptoms of grief could be mirrored in a lesser way here. Well, I hope that was in some way helpful. My mind is fried from wrestling with the Art Gallery.
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| Author: | Josiah Mimetes [ October 3rd, 2011, 8:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
You guys forgot one thing, looting. After the battle (especially if the farmers and whatnot won the fight), people would go around stripping armour and weapons from the grip of the dead guys. After all, a good suit of armour was worth about $50,000. Also, there would be wounded solders all over the place screaming in agony. |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 3rd, 2011, 8:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*nods * Yep. I shall keep all this in mind. The scene is just about written, I'm just struggling with the last 2 or 3 paragraphs.... |
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| Author: | Suiauthon Mimetes [ October 3rd, 2011, 10:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Airianna Valenshia wrote: I actually didn't say who won for a reason. I have more than a handful of Beta Readers looking at this post and don't want to spoil anything for them. *is glad Kaitlyn doesn't spoil things for the Beta people*  Airianna Valenshia wrote: *nods * Yep. I shall keep all this in mind. The scene is just about written, I'm just struggling with the last 2 or 3 paragraphs.... Progress!!! 
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| Author: | Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ October 4th, 2011, 6:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
@Lady E: That was very helpful, particularly your bit on grief - thank you @Josiah: Both very true *nods* @Kait: I second Sui eru |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 4th, 2011, 11:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
And this scene is finished!!!! However, please feel free to continue the conversation for others' benefit, as well as myself. I do have the third book in the trilogy to start writing before long. *wipes sweat off brow * |
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| Author: | Aragorn [ October 4th, 2011, 4:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*is glad Airianna finished the scene*
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 4th, 2011, 5:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*is too * |
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| Author: | Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ October 4th, 2011, 6:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Yay!!! *withdraws cupcake from Bush's case* Here go you. eru |
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| Author: | Suiauthon Mimetes [ October 4th, 2011, 8:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Yay!!! *throws cookies*
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 4th, 2011, 8:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*eats confections for brain food * |
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| Author: | Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ October 5th, 2011, 5:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
Of course!  Confections make great brain food eru |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 5th, 2011, 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*nod nods * |
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| Author: | Constable Jaynin Mimetes [ October 6th, 2011, 6:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
What Jay said. Exactly what Jay said. In the short version: Absolutely, unimaginably obscenely horrible. I hope I never, ever have to see one, and I'm not sure I'm even comfortable imagining one.
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ October 6th, 2011, 10:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Battle Aftermath |
*nods * Yeah... No matter how much war is waxed poetically as a glorious endeavor, I don't believe it. I mean, don't get me wrong, I believe that the cause can be glorious and just, but war itself never is. And that’s how I like to portray it.
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