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Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=244&t=3215		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Elly [ May 19th, 2011, 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
As not to disrupt Bethany Faith's thread about becoming adults, I should bring up a topic that I find interesting. Forgive me if there is already a thread on this.

How "young" should couples be married? What would you consider too young? In your world, are couples over (or under) a certain age allowed to get married?
Author:  Bethany Faith [ May 19th, 2011, 1:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
Usually, I'll say that my characters are allowed to get married once they reach the age of sixteen since I think that's a good age to set the bar for things. I don't do much development on that, though, due to me not having any characters marry...yet. :roll:
Author:  Riniel Jasmina [ May 19th, 2011, 1:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
It also depends on the level of development in a culture I think. Cultures of tribes or a more physical vocation could marry younger because the work to support a family would be more basic. If it's a society of scientists it would take longer for people to "mature" because they would have to keep learning to keep up with times. And then there's the topic of races and longevity but I'll not bore you with all that as I think we're focusing on humans. ;)
Author:  Elly [ May 19th, 2011, 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
Inesdar wrote:
One thing to bring to mind, a marriage is very different depending what class you are in a fantasy world.

The rich can feasibly get married as soon as they are born to secure alliances with other powerful families. Since they are heirs to a fortune, they don't have to worry about providing. Only doing as their families have told them. The mother of Henry the 7'th of England was only 10 when she got married, and 13 when she had him. Different upper classes have different ways of going about marriage, there's a lot you can do.

The poorer people aren't as worried about securing alliances, they're more concerned about the emotional and physical reasons for marriage. However they have financial obstacles to overcome. Therefore a poorer man cannot marry until he can provide for his wife. And eldest son could marry early (say 16) but younger sons would often have to wait longer.

Ten is too young, in my opinion. :shock:

I would say 14 at the youngest.
Author:  Airianna Valenshia [ May 19th, 2011, 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
We actually discussed this over on HWSF, and how ages for marriage might be different than typical fantasy ages for marriage. If any of you are interested, here is the link.

http://holyworlds.org/scifi/viewtopic.p ... iage#p6038
Author:  Varon [ May 20th, 2011, 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
I'll just say what I said over on HWSF. Make sure to take note of the age expectancy for humans, shorter life-span means an earlier marriage, and a longer life-span means later marriage.
Author:  Neil of Erk [ May 23rd, 2011, 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
Longer lifespans don't necessarily mean later marriages.

Animals with similar life-spans to ours, that happen to mate for life (most elephants, for example, and birds, though they can't make it quite as long as us) usually choose a mate not long after the female has the capacity to bear children.

Humans happen to generally wait until a few years after that. In fact, we tend to wait until the most ideal time (thinking in physical terms) for bearing children is already nearly passed.

As far as morality and ethics are concerned, we don't have much to go on. There seem to be pros and cons in each. The primary objections to young marriages seem to be:

1. It's not right for parents to decide for a child! (Meaning arranged marriages at an early age.)

2. People should wait until they're capable of making a good choice before getting married.

Each objection operate on a number of assumptions.

A. Parents don't have a right to make a decision about marriage for a child. Biblically, there is a little bit of room for debate about this, especially taking into account Paul's insinuation that a father decides whether (or who) his daughter can marry.

B What if a person isn't happy with their spouse later in life? Really, that situation could occur regardless of how or why people get married. This notion deserves one response: they'll have to deal with it.

(Note: of course, I accept Biblical reasons for divorce. That's not really what I'm talking about, though.)

C. Young people don't have the wisdom to make a right decision about marriage. And what, pray tell, exactly constitutes a "right" decision? In this case "right" really means that it wasn't a "wrong" decision. In other words, we know what constitutes a mistake, but we don't know how to avoid it. The truth is, marriage isn't about "falling in love with somebody", social maneuvering, or being happy, just like marriage isn't about digging post holes. The state of marriage is a holy institution of God, and it's really about facilitating the family, which God has appointed to be the core of all cultures, peoples, and times.

If a young person knows they'll be able to cooperate and help another young person, and the feeling is mutual, there doesn't really NEED to be any more to it than that.

As for arguments in favor of early marriage:

1. Early marriages give parents a bigger role in the process. In small villages (I can't remember whether it was Korea or China) of the past, children were married around...five. Or younger. So, the parents are along for the ride for a long time, teaching the children all kinds of things.

2. A benefit of being married before puberty is that it means marriage is less likely to be focused on the physical. Young couples will have only one thing to learn: you better get along with each other, 'cause you're going to be getting on each others nerves for a long time.

3. Say goodbye to "falling in love". Culture will return to seeing what love really is: it's a belief, and an action, that you share with others. Not a feeling or sensation.

That said, I don't fall on either side. I believe that marriage ought to be conducted according to social norms, insofar as they conform with Biblical morality.
Author:  Reiyen [ May 23rd, 2011, 9:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
My world is full of lots of different cultures... but I haven't worked on this issue for any of them. I'll probably fall toward the older side, but I like to see all kinds reflected in at least one culture of my world, so I'll probably give one of the nations young marriages as semi-typical just for diversity.
Author:  Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ June 6th, 2011, 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Young Marriages vs. Older Marriages
I have only developed one nation, the Enclave, sufficiently enough to answer this question in terms of Enderion. Generally, the manhood ceremony is at age 18, and most men are generally married within a year. So yes, younger marriages, but not so young. The girls are generally about a year younger or 17-18.

Now, as to what I believe about marriages as a whole, in real life, well...I'll be back. That is, if that is what the topic of this thread is about :P

eru
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