Well done Riniel! Nicely written.
Airi may I ask why it has gone onto the blog jumping down a line at funny intervals? It kind of makes it uncomfortable to read.
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| Creature Description- Judges comments https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=244&t=2385 |
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ March 3rd, 2011, 12:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Creature Description- Judges comments |
To view description, click here http://www.holyworlds.org/blog/?p=428 Winner- Riniel Jasmina Judges Comments: Pros: There was obviously a lot of research that went into this piece. The author looked into many of the myths that surround this creature. They presented the information in a real world sense, and gave reasons why they were not common, and why they might still be around. The piece was also, for the most part, factual and impartial. Cons: While the research involved in this piece was highly commendable, our judges felt that it could have been delivered with more variety and intrigue. It read like an encyclopedic narrative in places, making those areas dry instead of intriguing. There were also some typos and places where the delivery was a little confusing. |
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| Author: | Lady Elanor [ March 3rd, 2011, 6:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Creature Description- Judges comments |
Well done Riniel! Nicely written. Airi may I ask why it has gone onto the blog jumping down a line at funny intervals? It kind of makes it uncomfortable to read.
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| Author: | Airianna Valenshia [ March 3rd, 2011, 6:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Creature Description- Judges comments |
It did what? *adds to the list of things she needs to check today * |
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| Author: | Aragorn [ March 3rd, 2011, 6:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Creature Description- Judges comments |
It did sort of read like an encyclopedic narrative, but that wasn't a bad thing to me. 
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| Author: | Riniel Jasmina [ March 3rd, 2011, 7:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Creature Description- Judges comments |
Jonathan Garner wrote: It did sort of read like an encyclopedic narrative, but that wasn't a bad thing to me. Yeah, I kinda did that on purpose. It feels natural to me to explain everything like a field guide. |
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| Author: | Lord Kieren Mimetes [ April 11th, 2011, 11:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Creature Description- Judges comments |
Congrats Riniel! |
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