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| Feedback for One Sentence https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=9427 |
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| Author: | Tamuril Vardamir [ December 11th, 2015, 1:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Feedback for One Sentence |
In an attempt to get myself writing and thinking, I tried to write a one-sentence summary of a story that recently exploded into existence. I'm curious to get some feedback on it. Does it leave the too many questions? Or not enough? "When searching for answers about her vanished father, a young adventurer finds herself fighting to prevent the collapse of the civilized races." I'd appreciate it if y'all would let me know if you'd pick up this story and why or why not. Thanks :3 |
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| Author: | Aragorn [ December 11th, 2015, 3:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Feedback for One Sentence |
Tamuril Vardamir wrote: "When searching for answers about her vanished father, a young adventurer finds herself fighting to prevent the collapse of the civilized races." It sounds good to me, except that I'd like to know a little more about the conflict in the story. Who or what is causing the potential collapse? You don't necessarily have to be specific, but I'd like to get at least a small glimpse of the enemy. 
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| Author: | Tamuril Vardamir [ December 11th, 2015, 10:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Feedback for One Sentence |
Jonathan Garner wrote: It sounds good to me, except that I'd like to know a little more about the conflict in the story. Who or what is causing the potential collapse? You don't necessarily have to be specific, but I'd like to get at least a small glimpse of the enemy. Thanks! I'll see if I can expand without making the sentence a small paragraph 
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