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My First FirstX- Cosrayak
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=8441		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Lady Eliana [ January 17th, 2014, 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:  My First FirstX- Cosrayak
This is a Essence map for a villain I recently created with the help of Silvertongue, Lady Kitra Skene, and Lady Abigail Mimetes. He is king over a fictional country of mine called Rahaneen. This map is of him in his early 40's, when he has been king for about a decade. (Note: His name may change in the future.)

Body:

-------Motion- The flick of a cat's tail, a lion stalking its prey, a gentle breeze, the ripple of a fallen rock on a still pond, a bolt of lightning,

-------Figure- A stone-hewn tower, a straight redwood, a throne of solid gold

-------Expression- A marble bust, a momentary spark, a wolf's growl, an empty room

-------Face-

--------------Hair- The black of a night sky, streaked with stars

--------------Eyes- Light shining through an agate, liquid gold, the glowing embers of a fire

Mind:

-------Clarity- Polished marble, a frozen pond, passing through a bank of mist

-------Depth- A stormy sea, a cauldron of boiling water

-------Knowledge- An abandoned library, a chess player, a growing oak

Spirit:

-------Loyalty- A sudden, firm handshake, a band of brothers

-------Greed- Grendel's hunger, a forest fire, the devouring sea

-------Relentlessness- An unblinking stare, the sea's tide, a steady drip of water

-------Weariness- Christian with his burden on his back, a soldier after a battle lost

Soul:

-------Depth- Catacombs, a distant star, tired,longing eyes.

-------Misery- A tortured prisoner, a heart struck by an arrow

-------Gloom- The dark of deep cavern, an ancient forest at night, a castle's dungeon

How could I make it better? Please feel free to critique!
Author:  Kya Lightwing [ January 29th, 2014, 9:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My First FirstX- Cosrayak
I like it :) My favorites are polished marble and a sudden, firm handshake
Author:  Lady Eliana [ January 30th, 2014, 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My First FirstX- Cosrayak
Danke :D
Author:  Mistress Kidh [ April 3rd, 2014, 10:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My First FirstX- Cosrayak
I wonder about just a couple things.... Is it what you mean? If it is, it's really cool, I just wanted to clarify. :D

When you say Knowledge is like 'An abandoned library', it gets across the idea, to me, that he doesn't put a great weight on the importance of the things he knows, or doesn't have much cause to use them.

<Figure- a throne of solid gold> seems to put a great weight to his body, giving the impression of someone not easily moved, very solid.

I didn't quite understand what this element was picturing, too... <the ripple of a fallen rock on a still pond>...

You could put 'Expression' under 'face', maybe... and 'Hair seemed a bit out of place to me. * tilts head * Maybe it could just go under 'Body:'?

He seems very interesting. I like the contrast of some of his aspects, the quickness of his body, the weariness of his spirit, his greed. :cool:
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