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| Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=7882 |
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| Author: | Neil of Erk [ May 28th, 2013, 11:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) |
Power _____Motion __________Draw _______________-the drawing back of a bowstring __________Hold _______________-a tiger poised to pounce __________Release _______________-the lunge of a coiled snake __________Momentum _______________-a ship-of-the-line with a strong wind Intellect _____Keenness __________Humor _______________-an arrow that finds the mark _______________-a warm hearth on winter night __________Perception _______________-a blade that cuts to the bone _____Versatility __________Dynamic _______________-a many faceted jewel _______________-the sea conforming to the coast __________Adaptable _______________-an otter on the riverbank _______________-a snake gliding through the rocks Confidence _____Implacable __________Mastery _______________-the best horseman on the finest horse _______________-the lord of a strong castle _______________-the captain of a great host __________Strength _______________-a bond that does not break _______________-a cord that does not fray _____Pride __________In His Achievements _______________-a father holding his newborn _______________-the carpenter looking on his works __________In Himself _______________-the vanity of a king enrobed _______________-the hubris of the larger army Yes, indeed, this is my first essence map, and only a few minutes after writing it I am simultaneously proud and critical of it. The main concern (other than the fact that it is currently in SEM, but as it grows will become future nested and therefore require FirstX) is that Hurion's only real flaw, inadequacy, or defect, characteristic or physical, is his pride. Pride is not exactly the most endearing problem for a main character to suffer from, which makes me wonder how much readers will actually like him (At first. He'll have plenty of sympathy-engaging problems later.). Anyway, there it is. This is part of my character fractal for Hurion, so I plan on expounding on what I already have here, and then expanding it to incorporate elements from the What and How stages little snippets from the other parts. |
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| Author: | Cadenza [ May 29th, 2013, 8:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) |
I like this! I especially liked these metaphors: __________Dynamic _______________-a many faceted jewel _______________-the sea conforming to the coast a snake gliding through the rocks a father holding his newborn (I really like this one.) In Himself _______________-the vanity of a king enrobed I thought it was interesting you didn't describe everything (the body, for example.) Yet I feel like I can understand Hurion. And I hope readers like proud characters; many of my characters suffer from it, including one of my mains! Confidence can be attractive, though, and pride is something with which most people have experience. Your section on motion, "draw, hold, release, and momentum," was very interesting. I'm not sure if you intend to show the way he always moves, how he accomplishes his goals, or just the way he interacts. Nevertheless, it does open up the character. |
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| Author: | Neil of Erk [ May 29th, 2013, 11:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) |
Cadenza wrote: I like this! I especially liked these metaphors: __________Dynamic _______________-a many faceted jewel _______________-the sea conforming to the coast a snake gliding through the rocks a father holding his newborn (I really like this one.) In Himself _______________-the vanity of a king enrobed Thanks! The dynamic section was difficult for me, so I'm glad that it worked. Cadenza wrote: I thought it was interesting you didn't describe everything (the body, for example.) Yet I feel like I can understand Hurion. And I hope readers like proud characters; many of my characters suffer from it, including one of my mains! Confidence can be attractive, though, and pride is something with which most people have experience. Your section on motion, "draw, hold, release, and momentum," was very interesting. I'm not sure if you intend to show the way he always moves, how he accomplishes his goals, or just the way he interacts. Nevertheless, it does open up the character. Well, eventually I will expand the map to include his appearance and other attributes. The goal there was to show how he acts and moves mentally. The force and motion of his personality, if you will. |
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| Author: | Cadenza [ June 2nd, 2013, 9:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) |
Okay, that makes sense. So he's the type that figures out what he wants to do, prepares for it - and then nothing can stop him. |
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| Author: | Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ August 2nd, 2013, 9:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) |
This is a solid first map, Neil.  There are some essences that are carbons of the word, rather than describing the word, but there's also a lot of essence in here that's carefully thought out. I like it  (Also, I'm flattered SEM still gets an airing now and then. As long as it can nudge more people into essence, I'm happy. I added your map to the official list )Andrew |
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| Author: | Neil of Erk [ January 14th, 2014, 8:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Hurion (Neil's First Essence Map, BTW) |
Taking Andrew's advice about carbons, I've touched up this section, and added an additional item. I'm not completely satisfied with the headings and I think I need at least one more item to fully capture what I am going for with this section, but it's an improvement. Nature/Persona _____Goal-Oriented __________Planning _______________-the drawing back of a bowstring __________Patience _______________-a tiger poised to pounce __________Beginning _______________-the lunge of a coiled snake __________Pursuit _______________-a ship-of-the-line with a strong wind __________Triumph _______________-planting a flag on the Moon Under Intellect, I've added a new section, Knowledge. The section sort of captures both how he learns and what he retains (a lot). The thing about Hurion is that his intellect sort of rushes up to new knowledge like the tide: from all directions and with great mass propelling it from behind. It can be an overwhelming experience for those who try to instruct as his intellect rushes up the beach and runs amuck on the sands. For some reason this section got very watery. I need to visit the ocean... Intellect _____Knowledge __________Expansiveness _______________-a great lake __________Source _______________-a broad river with many tributaries _______________-a mountain lake filled by fresh snow melt __________Focus/Direction _______________-an ocean tide _______________-a needle pushed by a strong arm __________Understanding _______________-waves grinding stones I'm still working on a section to deal with Hurion's ruthlessness, which is probably one of his most defining characteristics when he is first introduced to the readers. Not that Hurion is cruel for pleasure, but he feels few moral qualms either. He accomplishes his goals efficiently, and nature of his goals will require cruelty. He doesn't enjoy that fact...he simply doesn't consider it. Hard to capture in a metaphor, at least so far. |
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