Sounds awesome! You will have to be willing to work on it, as any other story, but it definitely has potential
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| Help! https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=72 |
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 15th, 2009, 10:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Help! |
I had a dream and a story idea from it, and I want your advice. The story is about a young girl (I'm not sure of a name or social position yet) and her sister. Her best friend is a prophet and she's known him since she was little. When she's preparing for her 20th birthday, he reveals a dire prophecy concerning her. He hid it due to his love for her. The prophecy reveals that she will die when the morningbells bloom (a type of flower in my dream - I'll probably change the name). In this fantasy-world, morningbells always bloom when a girl turns 20. In light of this, her brother and her prophet-friend hide her from the light. The prophecy revealed that as soon as she sees them, she'll die. If she never sees them, then something bad will happen (I don't know what that is). She grows deathly ill right before her birthday, and her sister and friend hide her from the morningbells. When a terrible curse is inflicted on the world (don't know what yet), she realizes that she must die to save them. She orders them to open the shades so she can see the morningbells. That's all I have yet...I'll probably use some sort of symbolism then, not sure what yet. I will also add a bigger plot, which will probably relate to the curse. My question is, is this plot worth working on or is it to far-fetched and cheasy? |
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| Author: | Willow Wenial Mimetes [ October 15th, 2009, 11:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Wow...with skillful writing that could be FASCINATING! I think you should go for it! |
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 15th, 2009, 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
I don't claim to be a skillful writer, but I think it could turn out right. I'll just have to ponder it some more. Thanks, Mindy! |
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| Author: | PrincessoftheKing [ October 19th, 2009, 5:03 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
That could be really great! Go for it! |
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| Author: | Arias Mimetes [ October 20th, 2009, 3:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Sounds awesome! You will have to be willing to work on it, as any other story, but it definitely has potential
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 20th, 2009, 5:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
I've developed it a little since then. So the main character is Fyrstar, a star elf. Star elves are rare and have strong connections to Eshyklah (God, means "consuming fire" in Latin, I changed a little spelling) through Dreshna. Fyrstar's prince (fiancee) turned to Evillon (Satan) with other Ashelves. His name was Nytstar, the only other starelf born within Elvendawn. He abandoned Fyrstar and Eshyklah for Evillon. Later in the story, Fyrstar and her sister Aiyilina's prince, Ekryl (a shadywelf, or prophet) are talking and then I add the part about her death coming. But instead of just dying for seemingly no reason, she is the ransom for Eshyklah's chosen ones, the elves, and saves all Ashelves from going to the Nameless Place (Hell) and allows them the opportunity to still have Dreshna and go to Aurahome (Heaven). From then on, I'm gong to have some sort of connection between the races (Men, Dragyns, Centaurs, Elves & Seers) that Fyrstar has to start. Nytstar returns because Fyrstar had to die for him. My question is, should I have Fyrstar rise from the dead like Jesus or be the martyr heroine? And does this plot sound too much like a Tolkein story? I have only started outlining this new world that started from my dream, I call it Eivylazia, so it probably has some weird quirks. Critique would be appreciated, and thanks for all your support. |
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| Author: | Arias Mimetes [ October 20th, 2009, 10:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
I've read 6 or 7 of Tolkien's books, and it doesn't sound too much like his stories to me. I love your idea Sounds amazing.Hmm... when I was reading that post, I was wondering if she was supposed to represent Jesus, by being the ransom and giving people a second chance, and then I saw the next paragraph. The idea of her being a martyr is a good idea as well, but I just thought it was funny that I had thought of that. |
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 21st, 2009, 6:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
That's where I got it. I want her to represent Jesus, although she's not Eshyklah's daughter. But the emotional, personal touch is that she's dying for Nytstar, who is an Ashelf too. Should she be a martyr or come back from the dead? |
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| Author: | Whythawye [ October 21st, 2009, 7:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Liagiba wrote: That's where I got it. I want her to represent Jesus, although she's not Eshyklah's daughter. But the emotional, personal touch is that she's dying for Nytstar, who is an Ashelf too. Should she be a martyr or come back from the dead? If you have her come back from the dead, then it might seem a little too close to Earth, and become cliche in many people's ears. Sad, but true. What you could do is have her go to your heaven, and everyone will be wanting to go there to see her and thank her, etc. Or something like that. It has a legendary ring to it, with still many of the same principles of Christianity. You would want another thing to take the place of the victorious resurrection, though. |
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 21st, 2009, 12:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
That's what I've been thinking. I'm thinking about having Eshyklah (God) send her back to earth after a few years, to help her friends. I don't want to make this like a reward for her, but I do want to use her with Nytstar to save all of Eivylazia, not just the Elves. What do you all think of that? |
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| Author: | Willow Wenial Mimetes [ October 22nd, 2009, 3:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
There is one thing. I'm not sure but Dreshna sounds like something I may have heard in the context of an Eastern, mystic religion. You may want to look into that before you start writing in earnest. 
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 22nd, 2009, 4:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Yeah, I definetly don't want that. Hmm. That's interesting--I thought I made it up! I'll bet those little dudes in turbans are gonna be seriously ticked I stole their name. Thanks, Mindy. I'll make sure to check (and change) the name Dreshna. |
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| Author: | Whythawye [ October 23rd, 2009, 7:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Mindy E. wrote: There is one thing. I'm not sure but Dreshna sounds like something I may have heard in the context of an Eastern, mystic religion. You may want to look into that before you start writing in earnest. A bit of google research has uncovered nil that should give you concern. There are a few gods of the Indian religions that have similar names (i.e. Vishnu), but it is impossible to avoid that. It is used as the name for several fantasy people here and there, but not too much.
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 23rd, 2009, 10:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
I don't like the name "Dreshna" that much, so I'll probably get rid of it. Hey Jay, where can I post the plot I decided on for this story? Here? Thanks! |
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| Author: | Whythawye [ October 27th, 2009, 8:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Liagiba wrote: I don't like the name "Dreshna" that much, so I'll probably get rid of it. Hey Jay, where can I post the plot I decided on for this story? Here? Thanks! Probably over in the Story Development section would be better. Thanks for asking!
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| Author: | Liagiba [ October 27th, 2009, 10:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help! |
Great...will do in a few minutes. Thanks! |
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