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 Post subject: My new story
PostPosted: July 6th, 2010, 5:04 am 
Grease Monkeys
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Ok I've come up with a new plot, but the names are all too rip-off, so I need help with those.

7 cities

Ephesious
Smyran
Permagium
Thytria
Sarsids
Phildaphila
Laocida

Each city has a golden staff entrusted to mayor/leader of city
In the geographical center of the seven city lives the royal family.
Prince’s head and hair were white as wool, eyes like a flaming fire, and has the voice of many waters. Master with a sword.

Each city has a guardian angel.

Ephesious abandoned the rule of the prince, and if they don’t return, the golden staff will be removed. They also hate Nicholatinas, who the prince also hates.

Smyran is a rich city, but some of the citizens are to be captured by Natas.

Permagium is home to many faithful followers of the prince, but some heed the teachings of Bamaal, who taught Bakal to put a stumbling block before the prince’s subjects, and are therefore immoral. Also some heed the teachings of Nicholatinas.

Thytria loves and is faithful to the king, but they tolerate Jebelz, who says she is of the royal line, but is gathering men for Natas.

(Jebelz becomes sick and is killed by the prince)

Sarsids normally looked on by the other cities as wonderful faithful subjects, but do nothing for the prince. If they do not begin to truly love the prince, he will remove his protection on them. A small amount of citizens are truly faithful and will be rewarded.

Phildaphila is a very week city, yet they hold the prince dear. He has given them an opportunity which no one can take away, not even Natas.

Laocida is neither doing evil nor good; they are sitting on the fence, thinking they are rich, and have prospered, yet are in debt, and cannot see the direction they are headed.

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 Post subject: Re: My new story
PostPosted: July 8th, 2010, 9:23 am 
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It sounds like a good story. :)
Though the names and description of the cities sounds like it was taken from the letters that Paul sent out to various churches. I don't remember what books they are in... :roll:
I don't know if you already knew that... (you probably did)

I am also wondering, that if you did plan that from the Bible (in a way) is your story supposed to be based on the Bible-times cities?

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 Post subject: Re: My new story
PostPosted: July 8th, 2010, 11:12 pm 
Grease Monkeys
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They are taken from Revalation, I think. Just a question, Merashath. IS this supposed to be a biblical alegory? Most of the stuff about each city is straight from Revelation too. So, you've got me curious....which is a good thing, usually. :D

eruheran

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 Post subject: Re: My new story
PostPosted: July 9th, 2010, 12:49 am 
Grease Monkeys
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Yes, it is, but I don't want the cities and to be so obvious. :? It is supposed to be a different world entirely. :D If you have any ideas of how to make it a bit less obvious, I'd greatly appreciate it. :)

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