Sergei - 10 yrs. old.
Other notes: Extremely artistic; Can't read;

Sergei

Body------------------- underfed cat / swallowtail / bowstring / stretched leather / gamin

Eyes ---------------

Color -----dark hot chocolate / fingers of a violinist after a long practice

Gleam-----music genius / moon in a dark pool as the shadows of the trees dance o’er it.

Depth ------stars in a well

Action ----------------plastic bag snapping in the wind / child under the influence of a rock star or red bull / the fingers of a computer genius / Perpetual Motion by Suzuki / mill wheel / a fairy / a butterfly or hummingbird who never stops to eat

Hair-------------------

Texture ----stack of straw / mass of wire / reeds / birds nest

Color --------Worcestershire sauce / dirty, rusting steel / dark wood stain

Smile ------------------ camera flash / columns of white candles /

Mind -------------------- Pump-jack / a ball of yarn rolling down a sharp incline / metrenome set up in the 100’s / a slug bug weaving in and out of traffic / clothes on a line in the Texas Panhandle
Humor--------- purple tulip amongst the pink ones / fourth grader amongst second graders
Strength-------Olympic runner / pump motor


Soul -----------------------
Guardedness______rabbit hiding in a pipe / butterfly fluttering in a net
Kindness_____ O’er flowing cup / bread given without another thought / the housewarming gift of a neighbor

Please critique!
(The format is a little wacky; it got changed up when I copy and pasted it, and I'm afraid I didn't fix it very well.)

It's good, Phylis. I can't pretend to know loads about essence maps, but I like how you use really unusual metaphors, it makes it very interesting and seems to give me a clear picture.

Nice 'Underfed cat' under 'body' says loads to me

eru

Thanks so much to both of you!

You're welcome.

This is a good one!


My favorite parts were:

Body------------------- underfed cat / gamin

Eyes ---------------

Gleam-----music genius

Depth ------stars in a well

Action ----------------plastic bag snapping in the wind / a butterfly or hummingbird who never stops to eat

Hair-------------------

Color --------Worcestershire sauce / dark wood stain

Smile ------------------ camera flash

Mind -------------------- A ball of yarn rolling down a sharp incline

Strength-------Olympic runner

Soul -----------------------
Guardedness______rabbit hiding in a pipe / butterfly fluttering in a net


My even more favorite parts were:

Body------------------- underfed cat / gamin

Action ----------------plastic bag snapping in the wind

Mind -------------------- A ball of yarn rolling down a sharp incline

Soul -----------------------
Guardedness______butterfly fluttering in a net


And my favorite part of all was:

Soul -----------------------
Guardedness______butterfly fluttering in a net



I like the name Sergei also; it fits this person. It is interesting that he cannot read.

Thanks! It's actually pretty outdated, but as I read through it, I see that much of his essense is consistent. (I've been using these same characters for, like, a long time.) I should try making another to see the differences. I think a new one would exhibit more of his stubborness and pride. He actually can read now, but it still isn't his "thing." I find it interesting that you like the "butterfly fluttering in a net" because I still see that in his character. Behind his tough exterior, he's sensitive and a tad under-confident.

It would be interesting to see an excerpt from the story.

I do not think we have many map and story excerpt comparisons, especially for characters that have been used and developed for a long time since a map was made for them. That would be neat.

It makes sense that it would be one of the most consistent things. That was probably what struck me about it, how it seemed to be foundational.

Well, one of the stories I use this character in is over on the HF; it's called Relatively Risky. (These poor characters have been through many stories!)
I think I will go ahead and re-do his essence map. I re-did his sister's and made one for his dad and other sister. You reminded me how much I like making essence maps!

I am glad I did that!

Relatively Risky is a good title by the way.

I'm glad you like it. It was/is something of a working title. I did have Of Perilous Safety, but that is - awkward or something.

Here's an updated map. He's also older. 11-16 maybe?

Sergei Kelly

Body------------------- underfed cat / violin string / stretched leather / gamin
Eyes ---------------dark hot chocolate / fingers of a violinist after a long practice / music genius / a mining shaft with a light at the bottom
Action ----------------plastic bag snapping in the wind / the fingers of a computer genius / firecrackers / an impatient driver in bad traffic
Skin------------------Arab
Hair-------------------stack of straw / mass of wire / Worcestershire sauce / dirty, rusting steel / dark wood stain
Smile ------------------camera flash / columns of white candles


Mind --------------------
Speed-------------A ball of yarn rolling down a sharp incline / metrenome set up in the 90's / a slug bug weaving in and out of traffic
Humor-------------Bourne movie? / bored lawyer
Strength----------Olympic runner / pump motor



Soul -----------------------
Loner----------------hobo / lips clamped shut
Sensitive------------butterfly fluttering in a net / sitting crammed up at the corner of the couch.
Weighty/Duty/Protective-----"Brave" by Josh Groban / fingertips pressing the bridge of the nose / A family story of my brother (3 at the time) protecting my sister from a dog that scared him / “It doesn’t matter - I’m going.”
Agressive-----------"You wanna say that to my face?"
Compassion---------bread given without another thought / a child noticing a homeless man and tugging on his mom's sleeve
Pride-----------------Arabian prince