In the beginning was the Triune One, Elohim. Later, was Lucian, who lead all of his brother, the Engelose, in praise. They lived in the timeless halls of the Blessed Realm, where all was good, and blessed.

However there came a time when Elohim began to create more.

He created Aer, the sky, and Fleur, the flame, and Dune, the earth which floats in the sky, and brought Aer, and Dune together to create Flavae, the water. His creation was beautiful, but it did not simply stop there. Elohim formed living creatures to inhabit Dune, and created green things to grow and live as well.

And then, came the crown of his creation. Elohim breathed a tiny part of his image into the dust and formed Man, and from Man took Woman. Two people to love, and be loved by Him.

But Lucian burned with envy, and began a mutiny among his brethren against their Creator. And for this treachery, he was cast from the Blessed Realm, into Outer Darkness.

But Lucian and his fallen daemons would not rest with defeat. Instead, he spread discord, and rebellion among Elohim’s people, and caused them to defy their God.

And thus all of creation was corrupted. However, Elohim loved his people too much to let them be destroyed. He promised, that one day, he would send a Savior to redeem those who had been taken captive by Lucian’s lies.

As guardians over earth, he set up the nine Parya, to be stewards, and preserve order, teaching their children, and passing on the rule to them when they grew old, and thus providing stability for a fallen world.

And so they did…for a time…

For hundreds of years Dune was ruled in peace, and grew in cultural achievements, and love. Elohim sent gifted men as prophets to the Parya, who relayed Elohim’s will in the form of paper, The Biblios, Elohim’s Word.

However, Lucian would not allow anything good to remain completely so. So he abducted the youngest of the Parya, a young man named Sturix, and with a mixture of torture, threats, and the promise of immortality, persuaded him to rise against his companions and their families.

Sturix did exactly that. Before they knew what hit them, he had killed both his elders, and their families in a bloody massacre, and set himself up as tyrant. Lucian taught him in the arcane dark arts, and he made a pact, for power, and the immortality of his entire race.

When the people heard of this, however, many would not condone it. Many of them threw off Sturix’s power, and formed their own countries, while others believed it was Elohim’s will to remain under the control of a Parya.

Those that remained loyal, formed their own country, Aelyrica, which suffered under Sturix’s oppressive reign.

Although, Sturix knew that he could not remain the only Parya, he continued to grow in power over the years. Whenever word came of a new Parya, he had them captured, and subdued to his will, through the use of Aurora, their life force, trapped inside a stone.

And behind all of the carnage that came in those years, was Lucian, who had renamed himself Daekor. Although The Biblios could not be destroyed, he had them hidden, and demanded the worship of Sturix and his followers.

Even in this triumph though, the promise of a Savior rang in the back of his head, haunting him…

I like it! Very allegorical I'm wondering, is Sturix supposed to represent a certain person/group/race?

How have you added the history into your story? (I'm supposing you have a book or story written or in the process of being written) Is it at the beginning or does someone tell it to another character?

Very well written!

Very good! I was wondering, though, how allegorical your story will be, because the names have very obvious Earthly origins. This is okay if your story is very obviously of an earthly origin, but can detract from it a good deal if it is supposed to be independent. Made-up names from a language you make can render your story ten times better nine-times out of ten.

Yes, my whole world is extremely similar to our earth. I'm even thinking that the language will be based off of Old English.


Do you think I am being presumptuous to talk about how Lucian felt, etc...when I don't really know what really happened exactly?

Well, you are writing a story, not a history, so talking about how Lucian felt is fine. At least that is in my opinion.

that makes sense.

Oh! And Liagiba! No, Sturix is not supposed to represent anyone...I don't think. Although, my inspiration for him came from a political figure of the French Revolution...

And this is the prologue.