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Essence of a Shapeshifter (my first map, please critique!)
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Author:  RunningWolf [ April 22nd, 2012, 12:39 am ]
Post subject:  Essence of a Shapeshifter (my first map, please critique!)
Okay, this is I think going to be a pretty unique essence map because it is for a WereWolf character whose essence is partially effected depending on what form he is in. Any advice about formatting, or any other mistakes or any suggestions would be really appreciated, I want to polish this up a lot, and I need help. ;)

Here it is:

Human Form:

-Body/Appearance:

Hair
- A mane
- A shadow
- A knotted wood-grain
Eyes
- Un-identical twins
- A pale light and the night
- Bottomless wells, holding much, revealing little
-Probes, seeking, perceiving
Color
Gray
- Volcanic ash
- Volcanic rock
Black
- A deep pool in shadow
- A castle’s silhouette against the moon
Face
- Strong, unrelenting
- A shield
- Compassion
Expressions
- Opaque
- Dangerous
Facial hair
- A dark shroud
Skin
- A desert with scrub brush
- Tan leather
Build
- A deer
- A bear
- A Wolf
-Mind:
Storage
- A steel reinforced vault
Thought
- A man chopping and stacking wood with an ax
- A fire
Learning
- A gatherer
- A craftsman
Knowledge
- A Wizard’s catalogue of incantations
- A hoarder
- A toy, a tool, a weapon
-Spirit:
- A caged beast
- A careful watchman
- A guardian
- A beaver’s tail )
- A stage whisper

Half-Wolf Form:

-Body/Appearance:

- First impression:
Lanky
- A humanoid wolf
Slouched
- An old apeman with fur
- Fur:
- Coarse, a wolf's coat
Long
- A shaggy Timber wolf
Color
- An overcast sky with a storm brewing
- Eyes:
- Un-identical twins
- A pale light and the night
- Bottomless wells, holding much, revealing little
- Probes, seeking, perceiving
Color
Gray
- Volcanic ash
- Volcanic rock
Black
- A deep pool in shadow
- A castle’s silhouette against the moon
- Head:
- A wolf’s head
Face
- A wise wolf
- A Watch-Wolf
- May be ruthless
- Compassion
Expressions
- Opaque
- Dangerous
Jaws
Opening width
- A snake’s
Strength
- A vise
Coming to bite
- Death
-Mind:
- A steel, doubly reinforced vault with a Runelaid lock (all but unbreakable)
Thought
- A man chopping and stacking wood with a heavier ax
- A fire, sometimes a bed of coals, a small fire or a bonfire
Learning
- A gardener
- A gatherer
- An explorer of worlds
- A master craftsman
Knowledge
- A hoarder
Storage
- A Wizard’s catalogue of incantations
Use
- A tool
- A weapon
- A world to explore
-Spirit:
- A caged beast
- A careful watchman
- A guardian
- A beaver’s tail )
- A stage whisper

Wolf Form:

-Body/Appearance:
- A dire beast
In the dark
- A spectre
Fur
- Smooth, wolf's coat
Long
- A shaggy Timber wolf
Color
- An overcast sky with a storm brewing
Head
Face
- Wise
- Cunning
- Ruthless
Jaws
Opening width
- A snake’s
Strength
- A vise
Coming to bite
- Death
Eyes
- Un-identical twins
- A pale light and the night
- Bottomless wells, holding much, revealing little
-Probes, seeking, perceiving
Color
Gray
- Volcanic ash
- Volcanic rock
Black
- A deep pool in shadow
- A castle’s silhouette against the moon
Build
- A Wolf
- A Deer
- A Bear
-Mind:
- A steel box, thick and impenetrable (just about, anyway)
Thought
- A man sawing a log
- A bed of coals
Learning
- A hunter
- An explorer of his world
- A scale
- A chemist
Knowledge
- A hoarder
Storage
- A Bard’s mental catalogue of ballads
Use
- A weapon
- A tool
- A toy
-Spirit:
- A caged beast
- A careful watchman
- A guardian
- A beaver’s tail )
- A stage whisper
Author:  Elly [ April 22nd, 2012, 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Essence of a Shapeshifter (my first map, please critique
Wolf, that looks great for a first essence map! :D

Let's see...
Quote:
- Bottomless wells, holding much, revealing little

I liked this metaphor.

Quote:
- Fur:
- Coarse, wolf fur

This seemed a bit uneven, probably with the use of 'fur' twice.

Quote:
- A castle’s silhouette against the moon

I like this one, too. :D
Author:  Zoe M. Scrivener [ April 22nd, 2012, 4:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Essence of a Shapeshifter (my first map, please critique
Good job, Lycanis! A very good first map! :D

I especially liked this one:
Lycanis wrote:
A pale light and the night


Do you mind if I make some suggestions?

I noticed sometimes that instead of using metaphors that implied what you were trying to show, you said the characteristic. For instance:
Lycanis wrote:
Expressions
- Unreadable


Now, if you wrote something like:
Example wrote:
Expressions
- A blank page

I would understand that your character's expressions were unreadable, but you wouldn't have told me directly. Does that make sense?

Also, one thing I've found as I've essence mapped, is that the key to essence mapping is not only how your metaphors describe the characteristics of your character, but how the metaphors relate to each other. What you want to do is figure out what the characteristic is that you first think of when you think of your character, or what you want your readers to think of. This might be gentleness, suspicion, anger, etc. Then, you choose metaphors for each characteristic that underscores the all-important characteristic. For instance, if I had a character that I wanted to portray as gentle, I wouldn't put in metaphors about tornadoes and mountain lions, but rather ones about tender mothers and grass in the wind. When you're able to do that, it takes your essence map from being a collection of metaphors to being a cohesive whole that really communicates to your readers. Hopefully that makes sense, not that I've just confused you... :?

I hope to see more essences from you soon, now that you've discovered that they aren't so bad. ;)
Author:  RunningWolf [ April 22nd, 2012, 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Essence of a Shapeshifter (my first map, please critique
Maiden Elly Mimetes wrote:
Wolf, that looks great for a first essence map! :D


Good, thank you! :D

Maiden Elly Mimetes wrote:
Let's see...
Quote:
- Bottomless wells, holding much, revealing little

I liked this metaphor.


Yeah, I did too, I felt like it fit very well with his personality.
Maiden Elly Mimetes wrote:
Quote:
- Fur:
- Coarse, wolf fur

This seemed a bit uneven, probably with the use of 'fur' twice.

Quote:
- A castle’s silhouette against the moon

I like this one, too. :D


Okay, I'll fix that, thanks for pointing that out!

Thanks for the kind words and correction! :D
Author:  RunningWolf [ April 22nd, 2012, 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Essence of a Shapeshifter (my first map, please critique
Raven Chana Mimetes wrote:
Good job, Lycanis! A very good first map! :D

Thank you! I'm glad I had the right idea. :cool:
Raven Chana Mimetes wrote:

I especially liked this one:
Lycanis wrote:
A pale light and the night

Yeah, I think that one has a sort of double meaning, part of the reason I did that was because one of his eyes is black while the other is gray, but this also fits both of them individually since they would reflect light in the dark, and are both night timey colors.
Raven Chana Mimetes wrote:
Do you mind if I make some suggestions?
Yay, suggestions! I like suggestions in these cases (when I don't entirely know what I'm doing especially), so I'm glad for any you have! :cool:
Raven Chana Mimetes wrote:

I noticed sometimes that instead of using metaphors that implied what you were trying to show, you said the characteristic. For instance:
Lycanis wrote:
Expressions
- Unreadable

Now, if you wrote something like:
Example wrote:
Expressions
- A blank page

I would understand that your character's expressions were unreadable, but you wouldn't have told me directly. Does that make sense?
Yeah, that makes sense, thanks for pointing that out! *starts thinking up appropriate metaphor* How about 'Opaque'?
Raven Chana Mimetes wrote:

Also, one thing I've found as I've essence mapped, is that the key to essence mapping is not only how your metaphors describe the characteristics of your character, but how the metaphors relate to each other. What you want to do is figure out what the characteristic is that you first think of when you think of your character, or what you want your readers to think of. This might be gentleness, suspicion, anger, etc. Then, you choose metaphors for each characteristic that underscores the all-important characteristic. For instance, if I had a character that I wanted to portray as gentle, I wouldn't put in metaphors about tornadoes and mountain lions, but rather ones about tender mothers and grass in the wind. When you're able to do that, it takes your essence map from being a collection of metaphors to being a cohesive whole that really communicates to your readers. Hopefully that makes sense, not that I've just confused you... :?
Yeah, that makes sense! Hmm, I'm not sure if I really followed that principle that well or not... I think of him as a hard working protector... *shrugs* I will have to look through it again, and I think I'll save this bit of advice for reference next time I start mapping another essence!
Raven Chana Mimetes wrote:

I hope to see more essences from you soon, now that you've discovered that they aren't so bad. ;)


I hope to do more too! I think I should essence all of my MC's as soon as possible, they really help me uncover 'what' they are so I can better understand 'who' they are (and I have trouble doing that)!

Thanks for all the wonderful advice and corrections! :D
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