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Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=5441		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  RunningWolf [ January 25th, 2012, 4:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
This is in general discussion because I didn't know where else it might fit, it's not even a fantasy that I'm having trouble with, but I figured it'd be fine to talk about here... :)

My main characters have just lost their entire families and are now struck with the realization that they are alone in North America, formerly the US. I think the way I wrote it before was, the boy (who is a Christian, thereby getting comfort) cries and is devastated for about a day and a night before God helps him move on and try to survive. The girl (who isn't a Christian) does eventually stop grieving enough to move on, but has more severe struggles with it than Phil (my male MC) does.

I don't feel very confident about the way either of my characters have dealt with their grief, but since I haven't suffered anything that comes anywhere near something so tragic and shocking (I thank God for that, don't get me wrong!), I have no idea how to portray a human's reaction to something so intense. Help please?
Author:  Elly [ January 25th, 2012, 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
I put this in Character Development. If any of you mods think it fits somewhere better, by all means go ahead and move it. :D

I don't have time right now, as I'm eating dinner, but I'll see if I can answer your question tomorrow. :D
Author:  Lady Elanor [ January 25th, 2012, 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Wolf, one thread that might help you is this one, as it discusses grief etc.
Author:  RunningWolf [ January 26th, 2012, 1:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Thanks guys! Yeah that thread was helpful...
Author:  Aemi [ January 27th, 2012, 12:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
So everyone they know dies, right? Whew.
Well, I do know that your body is wired to survive, and it will do whatever it takes to do so. Even erase memories.
I think if it were me, I would feel oddly detached, at first. As in, "Okay, they aren't in my life anymore...this is interesting, being all alone like this...so this is how it feels to be independent..." Stuff like that. Not because I don't love them! But because I'm in shock. Disbelief.
Then, I suppose, the grief would come, and overwhelm me.
Author:  RunningWolf [ January 27th, 2012, 11:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Aemi wrote:
So everyone they know dies, right? Whew.
Well, I do know that your body is wired to survive, and it will do whatever it takes to do so. Even erase memories.
I think if it were me, I would feel oddly detached, at first. As in, "Okay, they aren't in my life anymore...this is interesting, being all alone like this...so this is how it feels to be independent..." Stuff like that. Not because I don't love them! But because I'm in shock. Disbelief.
Then, I suppose, the grief would come, and overwhelm me.


Thanks so much for your thoughts! Yeah, I was thinking similar things to that, except my mc's see their families led away to ambulances (not everyone died at the same time), already starting to tremble as they lose control over their bodies. Even so, it seems like the grief would be so great it would sort of, um, 'white out' like if you try to take a picture of something too bright with a cheap camera: there's so much to be sad about that none of it really makes it to the grieving stage yet.
I know I can't really do a perfectly accurate rendition of such sadness, but none of my readers will have experienced anything like that. The thing to be careful of is if someone did lose their family or a family member and reacted worse than my characters did after losing their family, friends, and all the rest of human fellowship (at least until they find each other).
I agree, it should start out as disbelief "this can't be happening", then move on to "Whoa, I'm in the house by myself!", and then everything caves in and crushes their other emotions and sensations out of view for awhile until finally God pulls them out of it and, through instinct like you said, reminds them to think rationally, "It's time to do what I've been preparing to do for the past few months."
Do you think that sounds about sort of accurate? Thanks again for the reply! :D
Author:  Airianna Valenshia [ January 27th, 2012, 12:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Something to think about is why. That is one of the most frequently asked questions, whether you are saved or unsaved. If you are saved, the why is different than an unsaved why, but the why is still there.
Author:  RunningWolf [ January 27th, 2012, 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Ooh, yes, I forgot the why. I think it makes an appearance in the story, but I probably will need to accentuate it a bit. I think showing the difference between a saved "why" and an unsaved "why" would be a good opportunity to show that God is merciful and helps us deal with our struggles, reminding us he is in control while the unsaved have no answers, and no hope.
I think this would work well for my story since one of my main characters is a Christian and the other one is not. Thanks so much for those thoughts Airi!
Author:  Airianna Valenshia [ January 27th, 2012, 2:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
You are very welcome.
Author:  Aemi [ January 28th, 2012, 2:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
RunningWolf wrote:
Do you think that sounds about sort of accurate? Thanks again for the reply! :D
Yes, I think so. I know that the phases of grief can play out differently, depending on how it all happens. The degree of shock depends on how sudden and unexpected the death is, I believe, and whether you are present for it.
I can't presume to know everything, but I, like every human, have had some small experience with grief.
Author:  Lady Elanor [ January 28th, 2012, 7:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
RunningWolf wrote:
Thanks guys! Yeah that thread was helpful...


I'm glad it was helpful. :)
Author:  Lady Eruwaedhiel [ January 28th, 2012, 5:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Have a look at this: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-sta ... grief.html

And if you're up to digging around a bit, there are probably a ton of websites about how to deal with grief. Just pretend that you're your character, browsing though those websites.
Author:  RunningWolf [ January 28th, 2012, 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Main Characters are dealing with grief, help?
Aemi wrote:
RunningWolf wrote:
Do you think that sounds about sort of accurate? Thanks again for the reply! :D
Yes, I think so. I know that the phases of grief can play out differently, depending on how it all happens. The degree of shock depends on how sudden and unexpected the death is, I believe, and whether you are present for it.
I can't presume to know everything, but I, like every human, have had some small experience with grief.


I agree, it's one of those things that, in the end, God's going to have to lead me through because I'll never really know enough. So I'll have to just do my best and pray God blesses me as I do so. :)

The E wrote:
Have a look at this: http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-sta ... grief.html

And if you're up to digging around a bit, there are probably a ton of websites about how to deal with grief. Just pretend that you're your character, browsing though those websites.


Cool, thanks for the link! I never really thought to look at this sort of site, but it makes sense to, great idea! I'll be digging... :)
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