Holy Worlds Christian Forum :: View topic

Need an example of that last sort: how do you have no people?

It was a breathtaking morning, as the sun barely peeked through the evergreen trees. The biting sting of the cold was enough to take the breath from anyone. All was still, quietly awaiting the sunrise. The only sound was that of the cicadas. Oh how they annoyed her. Their incessant, repetitive buzzing entirely impossible to shake. During the summertime it reminded her of the African savannah. She was unsure why, but she did enjoy it then. Her mind was always in some far off place, coming back to where she was for the brief periods of time she was needed.

I like the idea.

What kind of challenges were you thinking of?

Why
by KathrineROID

I pull the afghan closer and sip the cocoa. I lift my leg – bulky with a cast – onto a stool. A wreck and it was over. Dreams, training. I will never dance again. Some 'friends' have left. Why, Lord? The fire crackles. The doorbell rings, announcing a visitor. Sister shows him in. He holds a tiny box. I put my cocoa down and take it, curious. In the tissue paper something glitters. A necklace? No.

A ring.

"I was told to leave you. It made me think. I realized what you are to me." Lord, this was why!

I really like that one, KatROID. It had a lot of emotion in it.

Thanks! I think that was actually the first time I've ever tried a romantic scene. Drabble form, of all things. I hope the emotion wasn't gushy.

Yikes! no posts since December!? *remedies*
Here's a quick drabble inspired by a dream I had last night...

The queen stood stiffly near the door. They had removed her once, it would never happen again. The bodies of her fallen guards decorated the floor, while those that remained alive strove to hold the door. The rhythmic pounding and constant yells from without foretold their impending doom. One cry separated itself from the rest. Silk rustled as the queen turned and looked into the dark corner of the hall. A small shape moved softly. With a sad smile the queen went to the child and picked her daughter up. She looked at the girl. “Remember, Tasha, God is good.”

Now post peoples!

Thunder, lightning. Black clouds blanket the sky as I glance out of my window. The trees are shrouded in fog, and dark mud anchors them into the ground. Between it all, tiny raindrops dodge, seeking to add to the confusion. A crew of leaves abandons ship as a tree shakes and rocks; they seek a safer haven but will find none. Finally, King Lightning resolves to enter the fray. Like a shot he leaves the clouds and strikes a massive oak. It grumbles and sways, but the wind contributes to its demise. The oak falls to the ground, killed. Murder.

To the writer of drama, emotion is power. In the dramatist’s eyes, every fleeting feeling is an indicator of buried worlds. The dramatist knows that there is more to a nod than agreement, more to a pause than hesitation – and tears are the lens through which we see a world of care. Love and hate are binding laws, defied by betrayal and redemption. A dramatist respects the power of the tongue; lives can be ruined in one word, yet what goes unspoken is often more dangerous. Under the pen of a writer, these weapons wage the war that is drama.

Author:	Neil of Erk [ February 24th, 2010, 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Drabble Challenge
A drabble is simple: it's a story told in one hundred words. Okay, maybe that's not so simple. Anyway, this is my challenge: (It does not need to start on any given day; do it when you want to.) Write three drabbles: (One hundred words, plus fifteen max. for titles and subtitles. Hyphenated words are permitted.) A drabble in the first person. (So, the narrator is the MC.) A drabble told in the third person. (The narrator is not a participant in the events.) A drabble with no people in it. (So, you tell the story of a place or object. People can be implied, but not directly involved.) I'll submit mine soon. You have been challenged. The gauntlets been thrown down, The challenge begins, you compete not 'gainst others, but 'gainst the editor within. Here's an example: To the Onlie Begetter, Mr W. H. by Ray Girvan "Hey, Will, dear heart," said William Shakespeare's friend, "Methinks to pen a Drabble's all the rage. Fourscore and twenty words, from start to end; Far preferable to hacking for the stage." A sonnet Shakespeare thought the simplest way, "Just fourteen lines: a momentary chore. 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?'. Hmmm. 113. I'll versify some more. 'When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes'?; Worse: 114, exceeding far my aim." He flagged... "Enough! To discontinue's wise, The form's absurd. My talent's not to blame." But though the Drabbles overstrained his Muse, His failed attempts make scholars still enthuse.

Author:	Whythawye [ February 25th, 2010, 3:24 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Chalange
Need an example of that last sort: how do you have no people?

Author:	Lady Shanai-Irisis [ February 25th, 2010, 9:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Chalange
In the last example, do you mean no animals, either? Honestly, I think if you can tell a story of one hundred words about... maybe a vase, and make it interesting, then you certain DO have a talent for writing. It might be worth it to try and see....

Author:	Celestria [ February 25th, 2010, 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Chalange
Wow! I read this post, and I couldn't help but accept the challenge. Of course my favorite part of it was trying to figure out how to create a drabble that had no humans in it. I believe I succeeded. There's just once problem with it. It's 111 words. Now I have to figure out how to cut it to the right length, but still make it sound interesting and not choppy. Oh, well. Back to work.

Author:	Neil of Erk [ February 25th, 2010, 10:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Chalange
Sir Emeth Mimetes wrote: Need an example of that last sort: how do you have no people? Well, basically just do what Lady Shanai said: tell the story of something, like a vase. The key is to think of a drabble as someting like poetry, heavy metaphors are your friends. Glad you're doing it Celestria!

Holy Worlds Christian Forum https://archive.holyworlds.org/

Drabble Challenge https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=443	Page 1 of 2

Author:	Arias Mimetes [ February 25th, 2010, 11:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
This sounds like a good challenge I shall have to try it tomorrow if I can find some free time.

Author:	PrincessoftheKing [ February 26th, 2010, 11:42 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Sounds interesting... I'll have to try it sometime.

Author:	Neil of Erk [ February 26th, 2010, 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
My drabbles: High Fantasy by [Neil of Erk] We rose higher and higher. Soon, we could look down and see our little piece of the world, not unlike a patchwork quilt, dwarfed by the heights of other people’s mountains, the length of other people’s rivers, the quaint ways of others, their astonishing wisdom, their sad foolishness. But we were beyond that now. Now we turned and looked out into the depths of space: The cold hard reasoning of the dark void, the bright joy of the stars, galaxies, and super-clusters following the steps of their dance. Then we descended to earth. I closed the book, read the back-cover. A Conversation on Pride by [Neil of Erk] “Say, sir, have I seen you before?” “Not that I…wait, you went to Lincoln High, right? Played on the football team?” “Yeah! I’m the guy who tackled you when you were about to make that important touchdown at the championship.” “Funny we’d both remember something like that, why did it come to mind? “Well, I got real proud that I stopped that play. Well, that pridefulness got me kicked off the team the next season. I learned an important lesson, and it’s served me now that I own my own business. How ‘bout you?” “My team coulda’ won the championship.” The Wood by [Neil of Erk] The seed fell to the ground, beginning the story. The seed became sapling, the sapling became tree. It grew tall, towering over the forest for a century. Then it fell to the axes and saws. It floated down-stream, to the lumberyards. It was formed into a mast, and sailed the seas for two decades. Then, the ship went down, and the mast was buried in the sea. Two centuries later it was dug up and sold to a guitar manufacturing company. It became the backboard of a small instrument. It was broken. Tossed in the trash, then the furnace. <><><><><><><> What do you like, what don't you like?

Author:	Lady Shanai-Irisis [ March 1st, 2010, 11:46 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
My favorite by far is the Conversation on Pride.... that was hilarious! I am not sure I like the "Read the back-cover" as an ending an the first one. But that might just be me. They are really great over all, Neil!

Author:	Neil of Erk [ March 4th, 2010, 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Thanks, it was very fun to write. Yeah, it would have been better if I could throw in another word, but, then I would have gone over my limit.

Author:	Lady Shanai-Irisis [ March 5th, 2010, 9:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
So.... I don't know if this qualifies as a drabble, but it's ony 100 words..... could this be one? Quote: It was a breathtaking morning, as the sun barely peeked through the evergreen trees. The biting sting of the cold was enough to take the breath from anyone. All was still, quietly awaiting the sunrise. The only sound was that of the cicadas. Oh how they annoyed her. Their incessant, repetitive buzzing entirely impossible to shake. During the summertime it reminded her of the African savannah. She was unsure why, but she did enjoy it then. Her mind was always in some far off place, coming back to where she was for the brief periods of time she was needed.

Author:	wRen [ March 9th, 2010, 1:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Well, here I go! Drabble Challenge: Story 1: 1st Person A whistle for the Wind by [Radisana] I took off. Like the wind. I mean, I am wind. Anyways. That day was the day that my father, the legendary Storm would teach me how to whistle and howl. I couldn’t wait. When you become 15, you get to learn how to whistle or, actually, you get the power to whistle given to you. My father blew and I felt tingles as I whistled like a real storm for the first time. I was a storm! I couldn’t believe it! Drabble Challenge: Story 2: 3rd Person Sun Run by [Radisana] The sun was just starting to appear from behind the mountains, lighting Emma’s face. She had always loved sitting on her from porch to feel the sun on her face, and shield her eyes from the sudden light. She was stressed but she didn’t care at that very moment. In a few minutes she would take off for her morning run and shake off her worries. That’s what she always did. She stood, stretched then started; her face still being touched by the sun. Her heart began to pound louder as she ran faster; towards the golden sun. Drabble Challenge: Story 3: No People A Million Sparkles by [Radisana] The beach was deserted. Only the water, sand, grass and occasional log kept each other company. It was a shame that there was nobody there to watch the sun’s setting reflection on the water. The millions of sparkles as the little fish and currents made the surface ripple. The sand on the shore anchored the grass that swayed in a light breeze. It truly was a shame. No diamonds could compete with those sparkles on the water. A few birds flew over head but they didn’t take notice to the beauty. They never did. Shame.

Author:	Hannah Marie [ March 28th, 2010, 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Drabble Challenge Number One (1st Person): The Dove Set Free by [Lady Esmeralda] My eyes beheld the summer sun, creeping over the distant horizon. The time was now; the place was now. All would be lost if I held on to the gift a moment longer, let my breathe escape my chest a moment later, let my heart pound a moment more. With a slow, gentle breeze flowing between my lips, I opened my hands. The dove sprang loose, the healed feathers flapping gallantly into the westward winds. The tears upon my cheeks marked the beginning of its journey. With one last turn of the head, the bird disappeared into the blazing sunrise. Drabble Challenge Number Two (3rd Person): The Soul Sings by [Lady Esmeralda] The spotlight lit upon the kneeling figure. Her head lifted skyward, her eyes glistened brightly, and a small piece of her soul extinguished itself into the following laughter. She was here; it was her time. The amazing opportunity to be able to glow forth into the waiting audience became reality. Fingering the bow with the gentlest touch, she raised her knees from the dust, set its flat piece upon the delicate strings, and pulled the most touching sound from the depths of its figure. The violin sang to the world what her soul always wished to reveal, His intimate love. Drabble Challenge Number Three (No People): The Waters’ Battle by [Lady Esmeralda] The currents hungrily ate away at the rocks that formed its path, the ridged gateways that refused to move. Bit by bit, the waters drove their nails into the crevices, cracks, fissures. Defeat loomed in the future for the powerful rocks, or so the waters wished to believe. The narrowness of the passage vanished; the cut pieces of rock floated to the bottom. The waters lost its powers; only now did they start to doubt victory. The currents disappeared, and the waters settled. The smoothed, immoveable rocks resisted the urge to fight back, simply guarding its defeated quarry for eternity.

Author:	Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ June 17th, 2010, 10:47 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Wow, guys! I know no one has checked this topic in about two months, but I just read y'all's drabbles and they're pretty cool. I'd like to try one, but my characters from my book are still bugging me to work on their story, so I think that will have to take first priority. Just out of curiosity, where did the term 'drabble' come from...did you make it up? And my favorite, Neil, would also have to be a conversation on pride...that was hilarious!

Author:	K. C. Gaunt [ December 11th, 2010, 9:18 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Those are cool. The second one is funny. Here goes. Absence of Cold “It’s cold out,” said Ande, standing in line, trying to secure a decent seat for a famous acrobat, and magician. He swirled his cup of the hot, greenish liquid that warmed his hands. “Cold is the absence of heat,” his older sister, Jordan observed, more to herself than Ande. Ande grunted. “Or maybe heat is the absence of cold.” Jordan pulled out of her world of thought and shook her head. “No, it wouldn’t work like that. Heat is actually…” “Okay, okay,” said Ande, annoyed and amused. “Don’t get technical on me. All I said was that it was cold.” -Terra

Author:	Aragorn [ December 27th, 2010, 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
It didn't seem gushy to me, either.

Author:	Neil of Erk [ June 17th, 2010, 6:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Actually, "drabble" was invented by some college students at least two decades ago, if I remember correctly. I had intended to post a link for some examples and explanations, but I couldn't find anything that was totally clean. BTW, how would you all feel about a fantasy themed drabble competition? I'll talk to Jay about it, but I'd like some support first. You could enter drabbles from this page, if you like.

Author:	Whythawye [ June 19th, 2010, 10:46 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I like the idea. What kind of challenges were you thinking of?

Author:	Celestria [ June 19th, 2010, 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Yes, I agree! I think having a drabble competition would be cool.

Author:	Neil of Erk [ June 20th, 2010, 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Sir Emeth Mimetes wrote: I like the idea. What kind of challenges were you thinking of? Hm...definitely the challenges I've already proposed...but fantasy themed. I can't seem to come up with more, but there certainly are other concepts. We could make the prizes inclusion in a collection of fantasy stories from Holy Worlds. (There's a word for that...but I can't think of it.)

Author:	Andrew Amnon Mimetes [ July 10th, 2010, 12:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I like the idea. Haven't tried writing a drabble yet but I like the idea of a contest. I think it would be interesting to do a competition that's only in the third person with no people, like you suggested. But the fantasy-themed idea is cool too. eruheran

Author:	Evening L. Aspen [ November 24th, 2010, 2:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I just threw this together because it's how I'm feeling right now. Probably really lame, but hey, it's from the heart. The alarm clock rang. She turned over in bed, groggy, and slammed the snooze button. Just ten more minutes. It was not to be. She spent the rest of the morning and afternoon catching up on schoolwork and music, hoping that she could get it all done. After dinner, she pulled out her laptop, opened the Word document, and her fingers flew. Even if the words wouldn’t come, she made them. She lugged herself off to bed hours past midnight, eyeballs crossed and near bleeding. Tomorrow would be the same thing. God, help me stay sane. She was a NaNoer. ~•†•~

Author:	Elanhil [ November 24th, 2010, 7:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
That's actually pretty funny Evening.

Author:	Aragorn [ November 24th, 2010, 8:47 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I thought so, too. It gives those of us who aren't NaNoing a glimpse of what it's like.

Author:	Kiev Shawn [ November 24th, 2010, 10:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Yeah, same here.

Author:	Princess Arante Weneve [ November 24th, 2010, 9:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I think that it was very good.

Author:	Elanhil [ November 24th, 2010, 11:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
That's great Evening!

Author:	The Wolverminion [ December 6th, 2010, 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
How are these? The Unseen I can see things, phantoms that nobody believes are there. But they are, because I can see them. I’ve always been able to see such things, ever since I was very young. I think that’s why my parents put me in a prison for the mentally ill. At first I hated it, because they did horrible things to us. Now I’ve seen so much horror that my mind is numbed. How can they do this? Nobody understands us, but that’s okay. I have my friends, and they will take care of me. They are the Unseen. They will avenge me. Dead or Not “Sir? Sir? Are you alive or dead?” I groaned and twitched. “Does that mean you’re alive?” I groaned again and opened my eyes a crack. A young boy’s face peered down at me. “Sir, I really need to know if you’re alive or dead, so I know if I can bury you or not.” I pushed myself up on my elbows and squinted at him. “What does it look like?” I croaked. He shrugged. “I have seen movies, sir, with movin’ dead people.” “I’m mostly alive, thank you,” I snapped. He jumped up. “Okay, you’re welcome.” Then he ran off.

Author:	Kiev Shawn [ December 11th, 2010, 9:23 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I like that, Terra! It was funny.

Author:	PrincessoftheKing [ December 11th, 2010, 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
lol, Terra! Sounds like something Griffin would say!

Author:	KathrineROID [ December 26th, 2010, 7:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
A few peeps on the chat have already seen this. It's only part of the challenge - this first person part - but I'll go play around with Drabbling today and come up with a few more. The last looks the hardest. Has someone actually written a drabble without people in it? I read over the thread but didn't see one. It's early, though, so my eyes may see/not see many things. Quote: Why by KathrineROID I pull the afghan closer and sip the cocoa. I lift my leg – bulky with a cast – onto a stool. A wreck and it was over. Dreams, training. I will never dance again. Some 'friends' have left. Why, Lord? The fire crackles. The doorbell rings, announcing a visitor. Sister shows him in. He holds a tiny box. I put my cocoa down and take it, curious. In the tissue paper something glitters. A necklace? No. A ring. "I was told to leave you. It made me think. I realized what you are to me." Lord, this was why!

Author:	Kiev Shawn [ December 26th, 2010, 12:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I really like that one, KatROID. It had a lot of emotion in it.

Author:	Kiev Shawn [ December 27th, 2010, 9:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
KathrineROID wrote: Thanks! I think that was actually the first time I've ever tried a romantic scene. Drabble form, of all things. I hope the emotion wasn't gushy. That was part of why I liked it. It wasn't gushy.

Author:	PrincessoftheKing [ December 27th, 2010, 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
I really like it, Katty! It wasn't gushy at all.

Author:	Lady Vilisse Mimetes [ March 21st, 2011, 10:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
Yikes! no posts since December!? remedies Here's a quick drabble inspired by a dream I had last night... The queen stood stiffly near the door. They had removed her once, it would never happen again. The bodies of her fallen guards decorated the floor, while those that remained alive strove to hold the door. The rhythmic pounding and constant yells from without foretold their impending doom. One cry separated itself from the rest. Silk rustled as the queen turned and looked into the dark corner of the hall. A small shape moved softly. With a sad smile the queen went to the child and picked her daughter up. She looked at the girl. “Remember, Tasha, God is good.” Now post peoples!

Author:	BushMaid [ March 21st, 2011, 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Drabble Challenge
gasp! I didn't know this existed! bookmarks