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Using Godly Romance
https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=409		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Ciela Rose [ February 15th, 2010, 7:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Using Godly Romance
I have been struggling in my story with the common fantasy occurance of romance. I find this hard to do, and this is necessary to my plotline. So, I'm asking everyone on here how they show their romances and loves in their stories. Provided you're willing to share techniques :D .

How do you portray Godly romance in your stories?

How do you show your beliefs through your portrayals?

Do you have any bible verses to back this up?

Understanding, this could be an awkward subject to some people, so just pm me if you want this tweaked. I'm not exactly sure what the response to this post will be, so I'm just going for it. ;)
Author:  Arias Mimetes [ February 15th, 2010, 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
I'm not sure how to explain my thoughts on this, but I shall try.

I try to treat things the way I would treat them, in a way. They don't do anything... immoral, I guess would be the right word to use.
The characters (well, at least the good characters... I'm not so sure about evil characters because I haven't had any romance among them in my stories so far) are often focused on other things, and romance is secondary. It isn't unimportant, but it isn't the main focus of most characters.
I think part of why romance isn't focused on a whole lot is because I'm still young and don't really know how to write about some things. Another part of it is that I don't want things to be too... intense, I guess you could say. However, I do like to include romance to some extent in fantasy stories.

Of course, I haven't written a whole lot yet.
Author:  Ana Mimetes [ February 16th, 2010, 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
How do you portray Godly romance in your stories?
The wife in my story is very respectful towards her husband and the husband very protecting and loving towards his wife

How do you show your beliefs through your portrayals?
I show that love is not always perfect and that it is God and not you who can help your marriage thrive

Do you have any bible verses to back this up?
I do but I'll have to look it up I'll get back to it later


In my story I made it clear to myself that I would not go overboard with my love scenes.
Although I did have to imply some behind the scenes stuff (for plot purposes) but I was very vague about it.
I do not write any farther detail than a kiss and that is my main strategy.
Hope my little spiel helped,
Elisabeth
Author:  Ciela Rose [ February 17th, 2010, 9:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
Ok that helps me a lot.  Thanks, I'm actually surprised anyone answered to this thread ;) , you can probably understand why.

Anyway, maybe this thread can help other people work out similar issues, I don't know.   ;) It depends, I guess.
Author:  Whythawye [ February 19th, 2010, 5:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
I believe that we need to show the good and bad of romance as much as anything else in fiction. Of course, just like any lesson, it doesn't need to be in every story, and it doesn't need to be obvious. And just like any other sin, you shouldn't go into enough detail to make it a stumbling block. If the end result is that the reader comes away with a passionate longing for purity, you did your job right (Come What May did an excellent job of that bytheway).

Hope that helps. That is my input as a guy who reads romance novels. :)
Author:  Lady Shanai-Irisis [ February 19th, 2010, 10:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
I agree with what Jay said, and I would like to say that in my story, the love that my my main character and her special friend eventually grow to have for each other is never main theme. It will be very background, and sweet and Godly. My goal is to have my readers walk away with a view on how love relationships under the guidance of God and parents should be. I also don't "deal" with romance. If it comes up, I simply put in my story the way it should be. I don't hint at anything, I don't go into details, I simply let the reader understand what is going on. Do you see what I mean?
Author:  Ciela Rose [ February 20th, 2010, 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
Thanks guys, that helps a lot.
I definitely agree that romance shouldn't be the center of a story, but I think (from what I've been learning) it should be a side thread, something to accentuate the characters. Definitely nothing should be explicit (that gives me the shudders), especially in Christ-oriented fantasy.

My primary problem is walking the thin line between knowing it's there, and it is God-centered and dignified, and having an adventurous story where you can focus on battles and quests and things like that.

Thanks for the help!
Author:  Willow Wenial Mimetes [ May 30th, 2010, 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
It is my opinion that every fantasy story needs three things: Action, a pinch of humor, and a dash of romance. ;)

I don't think you should have pages and pages of sappy love scenes, and a spectacular proposal speech. (how realistic is that anyway?) But like others have said, it's important for people to be able to have godly relationships exemplified in fiction.

Love between evil characters is tricky. Obviously it isn't going to be holy, or respectful, or pure. The one romance I have in a story between evil characters eventually ends up as a miserable thing where they both semi-abuse and manipulate the other. Having a good love story between two evil villains is not right.

Oh, and I don't think you should dwell overly on the physical side of things either. I mean, it's obviously there, but in a lot of books that dwell on that (Twilight anyone?) the readers trick themselves into lusting after a fictional character. I think that is extremely detrimental.
Author:  Melody Kondrael [ May 31st, 2010, 6:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
Haha, I make it easy on myself.

I don't do romance in my books. :)

I think the closest I've ever came was in a short I wrote/am writing in which the MC had a fiancee that was part of her motivation for the story, but the main focus was on the MC's friendship with her college roommate.

For me, as well, I have to take extra consideration because my main thing is screenwriting; I don't want to put my actors and actresses in positions where they would have to act something out they shouldn't. (unless, of course, I can get one of those couples who act. Kind of like in Fireproof when they brought in Kirk Cameron's wife for a kiss scene or in a couple shorts that I've seen where the husband & wife in the story were acted by a husband/wife acting team)

(I get extremely tired of reading Christian romance books - even the 'good' ones - at the library...just want to read a good sci-fi or fantasy or historical WITHOUT playing matchmaker for characters along the way!)
Author:  Calenmiriel [ July 7th, 2010, 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
Ciela Rose wrote:
I have been struggling in my story with the common fantasy occurance of romance. I find this hard to do, and this is necessary to my plotline. So, I'm asking everyone on here how they show their romances and loves in their stories. Provided you're willing to share techniques :D .

How do you portray Godly romance in your stories?

How do you show your beliefs through your portrayals?

Do you have any bible verses to back this up?

Understanding, this could be an awkward subject to some people, so just pm me if you want this tweaked. I'm not exactly sure what the response to this post will be, so I'm just going for it. ;)


I will admit I am hopeless romantic, but not addicted in any way. I just think it adds another emotion/twist to a story because love interests can be very unpredictable. :P

1.) How do you portray Godly romance in your stories? Well, most of my stories have some romance in them, but like others have said, I keep it pure. The most scandalous thing might be a kiss which is usually given once they are engaged.

2.) How do you show your beliefs through your portrayals? I'm not quite sure how to answer this one...if I'm thinking along the same line here I think it would be a lot of what is explain in Corinthians about how love is kind, patient, love does not envy, ect. I also believe in saving my first kiss for the one I'll marry. ^^

Do you have any bible verses to back this up? The book of Corinthian is the only one I could reference you to. I'm not so thoroughly learned in most of the Bible. I'm most familiar with the New Testament. :D

I hope this helps you! I'm actually working on a Christian romance which is more focused on the development of the two main characters growing up together and going through different experiences which help them grow closer to God and each other. :)
Author:  InTheLion'sPaws [ July 28th, 2010, 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
I have to say, writing romance scares me to death, just because I'm so young, and it's so easy to go the Twilight route where there's nothing to the romance, and the love is basically lust. But in a recent story I realized I'm going to have to have romance, because a noble man of 30 is not going to live his life with no thought to an heir. So I've been researching a bit, and will tell you what little I've surmised.
I think the most important thing is to make the romance acual love, instead of just lust. Love is not "she's so beautiful!" You don't love someone because they're beautiful, they're beautiful because you love them. There has to be a reason. I found this list of things that will make a romance last.
-Similar worldviews.
-Weaknesses and strengths that complement each other, rather than replicating in one person what the other person already has. (Two perfectionists might well drive each other nuts).
-The ability to make peace.
-The ability to compromise.
-Love that doesn’t end with the physical, or the mental, or the spiritual, or the intellectual. All of those are things that could be wiped out by changes in the person over time.
-Sheer enjoyment of each other’s company. If these two people go through the “Hate! Want! Hate! Want! Marry!” pattern typical of bad fantasy romance, I end the story not convinced that they enjoy each other’s company. They might enjoy having sex with each other, but that’s not the same thing.
-Goals and ambitions that allow room for another person.
-Shared determination to do something in the world. In a fantasy, that might be as large as ruling a country or as small as getting a farm going on what was once blasted land.
I think those are really good reasons. Keep it real, people! Make the love acual love, with reasons why the people love eachother.
A great resource I've used (and quoted) is http://limyaael.livejournal.com/332207.html. She's really good! *Warning* some profanity, also mentions of sex.
Author:  Melody Kondrael [ July 29th, 2010, 6:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
one more thought -

It's really important to recognize what style of romance you're going for - where the emphasis is.

For example, it wouldn't work in The Princess Bride to have Westley and Buttercup hating each other for the first half of the film ala Han Solo & Princess Leia. They had to be deeply in love.

::can't remember any other love stories:: (sry, I am so not into romance...)

Oh, and in Lord of the Rings, Eowyn's crush on Aragorn was used very well for a discussion of the difference between admiration and true love. Emphasis wasn't on getting anyone married off. Just on the individual character development.


And all relationships have bumps, tension, or arguments. Just the most common style is the Han and Leia style relationship ("Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her") because it's relatively easy to write realistically. (it's easier to have tension between two characters than to show love, particularly in film) Still not overly easy. ;) But relatively easy. :)
Author:  Constable Jaynin Mimetes [ July 29th, 2010, 11:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Using Godly Romance
I started writing fantasy by reading Fairy Tales. I got Andrew Lang's Red Fairy book out of the library and when I finished it I got the Blue Fairy Book. Then the Green one, then the purple one, than the brown one, than the orange one, and by the time I was done I had all kinds of fairy tales elements spinning around in my brain. Glass mountains, Ogres, giants, evil stepmothers, broken promises, and true love.

Everyone who knows me knows there's really only one genre I don't like. (and I read it anyway,) and that's romance. My mother and now two of my sisters favorite genre is romance. I hate it. Then everyone teases me when I have romance in my story. But a "Romance" is when the love story is the driving plot of the book. Adventure serves to further the relationship. I don't mind romance when it's used to further the adventure. And when I started writing my romances are fairy tales romances.

Okay, it's not realistic, who cares? Neither are glass mountains, endless winters, wizards and giants!! It's idealistic. I'm a great fan of true love, everlasting love, the kind of love of you find in fairy tales.
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