This one seems redundant--
Quote:
-career traveler who is always traveling
I can't give a critique on the rest though. I don't understand much of essence yet.
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| Ouskar Drund https://archive.holyworlds.org/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=4052 |
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| Author: | Varon [ August 4th, 2011, 7:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Ouskar Drund |
This is my first essence map with the new system that I finished (Without being able to look at the tutorial while doing it). Ouskar is a new character of mine, I came up with him when I was writing my sub-forum thread on the Bards. Treasure Hunter -Indiana Jones -seeker of knowledge Reckless -skiing down on an avalanche -skydiver -racing to cross the railroad in front of a train Cocky -Strutting Rooster -fighter pilot Skilled -commando -archaeologist Hair -loamy soil during a dry spell Eyes -hypnotic diamond whose depths are veiled by a sparkle on the surface -ocean pool pulling you deeper in over time -mirrors reflecting each other Face -forgettable -small town that whizzes by on a long drive -random person who passed in you in a crowd -joyful -adrenaline rush all the time -insane beaming Body -lean -endurance runner -stretched spring Spirit -restless -wild stallion -career traveler who is always traveling -confident -mafia don in his own home -Olympic kayaker preparing for a run -enthusiastic -teenager talking about their passion in life -football addict I couldn't think of anything else. Suggestions? |
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| Author: | Suiauthon Mimetes [ August 7th, 2011, 11:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Ouskar Drund |
This one seems redundant-- Quote: -career traveler who is always traveling I can't give a critique on the rest though. I don't understand much of essence yet.
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| Author: | Varon [ August 8th, 2011, 3:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Ouskar Drund |
I wasn't sure if people could make sense of career traveler. |
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| Author: | Suiauthon Mimetes [ August 9th, 2011, 12:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Ouskar Drund |
It makes sense to me... 
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| Author: | Varon [ August 9th, 2011, 7:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Ouskar Drund |
That's good. 
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| Author: | Tsahraf ChahsidMimetes [ January 11th, 2012, 4:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Ouskar Drund |
Good job Varon! My favorite parts: Hair -loamy soil during a dry spell Eyes -hypnotic diamond whose depths are veiled by a sparkle on the surface -ocean pool pulling you deeper in over time -mirrors reflecting each other Face -forgettable -small town that whizzes by on a long drive -random person who passed you in a crowd -joyful -insane beaming Body -lean -stretched spring Spirit -restless -confident My especially favorite parts: Eyes -hypnotic diamond whose depths are veiled by a sparkle on the surface Face -forgettable Spirit -restless -confident My favorite of all: Eyes -hypnotic diamond whose depths are veiled by a sparkle on the surface Suiauthon wrote: This one seems redundant-- Quote: -career traveler who is always traveling I think it is emphasizing that it is a career traveller who is always travelling. I think it makes sense. |
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| Author: | Varon [ January 11th, 2012, 4:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Ouskar Drund |
Thanks! I'll have to do some more of these essence maps, they make good practice for nailing down who a character is. I like the diamond one as well, I had to rewrite it many times to get it the way I wanted it. |
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